THE HOME
As God Would Have It

by
DAISY McQUIGG SEWELL
Twelve years Dean of Women and Bible Teacher in
Abilene Christian College. Director of Women's Bible
Classes and Bible Teacher in Grove Avenue Church of
Christ, San Antonio, Texas.

Author of
THE LIFE OF CHRIST
IDEAL WOMANHOOD

FIRM FOUNDATION PUBLISHING HOUSE
Austin, Texas

TRAINING FOR SERVICE SERIES
Prepared under the editorship of
J. P. SEWELL AND H. E. SPECK

And Published by
Firm Foundation Publishing House
Austin, Texas.

The Church and Her Ideal Educational Situation. (Published)
The Church and the Children. (Published)
The Church and the Young People. (Published)
The Home as God Would Have It. (Published)
The Church and The Adult. (In Preparation)
The Arrangement and Administration of a Church's Educational Work. (In Preparation)

Copyright 1937

To my son
Jesse McQuigg Sewell
who has brought joy to our home
from birth to manhood
this book is lovingly
dedicated.

INTRODUCTION

It has been a genuine pleasure to read the manuscript of this book. The author has struck the roots of the evils that are undermining the homes and young of our country. The simple story that runs like a silver thread through this expression of Christian ideals adds much to the interest and pathos of the book. Sometimes the tears obscured the page as I read this vital contribution to the safeguard of the home. I commend it to fathers and mothers and sons and daughters who would "Love life and see good days."--Batsell Baxter.

PREFACE

In the beginning God created the home. In it the first husband and wife were surrounded with beauty, perfection in form, color and texture; with the music of wind water and birds; with the fragrance of exotic blossom and perfect fruit; and with food to gratify the most exacting taste. In it there was work to do. There was divine guidance. God came to talk with them. There were laws to be obeyed and promises to be trusted. From it man was to go out to subdue, to conquer and to use those things in the animal, vegetable and mineral kingdoms which God had created for his use. In it children were to be born, and the joy and happiness of the home were to be made full by young and growing life.

God ordained that the home should be the center, the foundation unit of society. It has been so throughout the ages. No nation can rise above the faith, the ideals and the standards of its homes.

Calvin Coolidge said, "The greatest need of our nation is religion, the religion that centers in the home." The only way to have the faith, the ideals, and the standards as God would have them is to build and maintain our homes in obedience to his laws; to fill them with love for and faith in him, the Father of all, who will accept his love.

This little book is an endeavor to arouse an interest in the study of home life, in a study of child nature and child nurture: that God's commands to husbands and wives, to fathers and mothers may be obeyed, and that all--fathers. mothers and children--may develop Christ-like personalities. All such will escape the corruption that is in the world through lust, become partakers of the divine nature, and be accorded a place in God's eternal home.

In the story of the life of John, Mary and their family, every incident, every problem, has been taken from the actual life of parents and children of my acquaintance. The thoughts words

PREFACE

and actions of John and Mary, Jack, Jill and little Jane are not only true to life, but are the real thoughts, words and actions of my friends among parents and children.

I am deeply indebted to Brother Batsell Baxter for reading and correcting the manuscript and for writing the introduction, and to Mrs. Loyd Rutledge and Misses Orlena and Davy Drennan, authors of The Church and the Children, and to Mrs. Harry Melton, author of The Church and the Young People. I am grateful to Grace Noll Crowell, poet laureate of Texas, for the privilege of giving you several of her beautiful poems.

I owe a special debt to my class of young mothers in the Grove Avenue Church, who are so earnestly trying to rear their children and to make their homes as God would have them. They have given me much valuable information, many good illustrations; and are a constant source of inspiration and joy.

Any of the books referred to may be ordered through the Firm Foundation Publishing House.
DAISY McQUIGG SEWELL.

San Antonio, Texas.
February 6, 1937.

CONTENTS

Chapter Page
I. The Establishment of the Home 1
II. The Home Life From Day to Day 16
III. Parenthood 27
IV. Christ-Like Personality 39
V. Early Childhood 76
VI. Meeting Adversity 116
VII. Middle Childhood 127
VIII. Later Childhood 156
IX. Early Adolescence 181
X. Later Adolescence and Meeting Wealth 215
XI. The Home in the Later Years 244

CHAPTER ONE
THE ESTABLISHMENT OF THE HOME

1. Who Should Build a Home?

John and Mary loved each other. They were children of God-loving, God-fearing parents, and had been reared with reverence and respect for God's law. They went to his book to find life's meaning, to find guidance in the use and enjoyment of this love for each other.

John found that God, in the beginning, said, "It is not good for man to dwell alone," and had, for his companion, created Eve; created her to fit every need of his body, his mind, and his soul. In Proverbs 31 he found a picture of ideal womanhood, in the advice given to King Lemuel by his mother. John carefully observed Mary. He found her to be industrious, cheerful, and thrifty. She had a strong, beautiful body which she clothed in dainty, appropriate and modest apparel; a clean well-trained mind which he fancied was capable of managing a home and of handling its finances; her words were chaste, kind, and marked by wisdom. Her heart was pure and tender. She was always ready to help others, and above all she feared Jehovah. Now John could understand why he loved Mary with every fibre of his person. She was the one in all the world whose faith, ideals, and standards coincided with his own, whose association filled him with ambition to be better, to do greater service in the world,

2 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

and whose example spurred him to determined effort to make the best use of every opportunity. While he would not have to work as long as Jacob did before enjoying her companionship, he could say with Jacob that any task, no matter how long or arduous would be full of joy; and the time would not be counted in its accomplishment, if it would bring happiness to Mary.

Mary found that God created man and gave him dominion over all his creation. She found that woman was created to be a help, to meet a need in God's plan; that she should be willing, glad, and happy to fill this place in the life of the man to whom she would give her heart. Mary analyzed John. She must not make a mistake! Was he strong, brave, and true in body, mind, and soul? She saw that his body was vigorous, untainted by disease or poor inheritance, his nerves calm--uninjured by alcohol, tobacco, tea or coffee; and his legs and arms strong and sturdy. He was energetic not afraid nor ashamed to work. She observed that he was a thoughtful, courteous, helpful son to his mother, respectful and obedient to his father, willing to take advice, yet with strong intellect, and initiative. He was capable of weighing a matter and coming to a decision. She found that he loved pure literature and good recreation. He had a record of clean, truthful, honest living. He realized that to "fear God and to keep his commandments * * * is the whole duty of man." Mary was satisfied that John could meet the requirements of the Holy Spirit as given by Paul to Timothy "in work, in manner of life, in love, in faith and in purity."¹

Their hours together were not spent holding hands,

¹1 Tim. 4:12

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 3

in frivolous chatter, in racing about seeking pleasure, in places of public amusement, or in a parked automobile beside the highway. I do not mean that they did not engage in clean, healthful recreations and social contact with other young people. But they were intelligent young people and there were subjects of vital interest to be discussed in nearly every visit. They learned to understand each other by these talks on religion, art, literature, music, home, family life, children, money, thrift, giving, spending, recreation, hospitality, friends, books and other things. Later this understanding saved many heartaches and much friction over the little things which came into their experience. True happiness demands harmony--congeniality of mind and spirit.

2. Permanence of the Marriage Bond.

Mary was glad and happy, grateful for the love of this excellent young man. Together they read from Genesis, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh";¹ from Malachi, "Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For I hate putting away, saith Jehovah, the God of Israel";² from Jesus, and from Paul, "Let not the wife depart from her husband. But if she depart let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband and let not the husband put away his wife." ³ and ⁴ No hint or suggestion of trial or companionate marriage is ever seen in the mind of God who gave marriage to the human family. They remembered that the marriage vows demanded faithfulness

¹Gen. 2:24.

²Mal. 2:15,16.

³Matt. 19:6.

⁴1 Cor. 7:10, 11.

4 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

in ail adversity as well as prosperity; but these two young people had no idea other than life together to the end of the way. Both knew that without this permanent contract. this binding together into one, there could be no calm assurance, no confidence and certainty so necessary to happiness and contentment.

3. The Nature of Marriage.

John and Mary learned from the Apostle Paul, in instruction to Christian married men and women, that marriage was instituted by Jehovah as the first and most binding of human contracts, and is sacred in ryes. The love of husband and wife, each for the other, and the duty the one to the other are given high plaice. They are compared to the relation of Christ to the church.¹

They found that woman was created to be man's helpmate.² She was to help the man to attain his highest natural happiness and perfection, mentally, bodily, spiritually and in every other way, and that he was to render the same service to her. Each one was to achieve happiness by assisting the other. It is truly sad that in many instances persons designed to be the greatest help and the sweetest solace to each other are their heaviest handicap and source of sorrow. "The two shall be one flesh." Thus the unity and indissolubility of marriage are proclaimed. One husband and one wife, God's law of monogamy, is the only sound and solid marital condition of true happiness. As the physical union of husband and wife is the closest possible, so too, should their union of thought and sentiment be most intimate and complete. This unity and

¹Eph. 5:25-33.

²Gen. 2:18-24.

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 5

indissolubility of marriage should cause those contemplating it to be very sure of themselves. After the marriage, it should cause husband and wife to guard and cherish carefully their love for each other. Mary and John studied the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians. They felt sure if day by day they kept their love in harmony with this exposition of love given by the God of love, there would be no danger of failure in their relationship.

John and Mary learned too that God's purpose in giving marriage was threefold; first, the reproduction of the race,¹ second, to foster love and attachment between husband and wife,² and third, to serve as a sedative to concupiscence or the sexual desire.³ This desire is not bad in itself. There would be no motive power in human nature and in human society without it. It is wrong only when perverted to ends prohibited by God. The strongest desire in man is for food and drink. The next strongest is the sexual desire. The one is for the preservation of the life of the individual, the other of the race. Both are necessary and as good as they are necessary. To give the sexual desire virtuous and honorable satisfaction God instituted marriage. Temperance in the gratification of all desires of the body is taught in God's Word. Temperance and consideration for each other are right. The spirit must always be above the flesh and attain control over it. That marital happiness which finds its greatest expression in the relations of the flesh is doomed to be as short-lived as it is shallow. Christian couples derive their highest joy from the sources of their mutual friendship, esteem, and homage, and from the

¹Gen. 1:28.

²Eph. 5:25-33.

³1 Cor. 7:1-11; 1 Thess. 4:3-6; Heb. 13:4; 1 Cor.11:11.

6 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

stimulation to virtue, honor, and goodness. The woman will hold the sincere respect and tender reverence of the husband if she retains her modesty and refinement and the honorable chivalrous husband will tenderly respect and guard her innate love of purity and instinct of modesty. He will avoid everything in his own conversation or conduct that might shock or revolt her delicate sensibilities.

Yet a failure on the part of either to recognize and respond to the sexual need or desire of the other will result in estrangement and separation, or a life of constant heartache. The woman will lose this desire much earlier in life than the man, but this should not cause her to forget or neglect this need in the life of her husband. God has made her thus. It would not be well for her to bear children after she is too old to rear them to maturity. She must remember all of God's purposes in giving marriage and realize they are for the good of the individual and the family.

4. The Wedding

John and Mary planned their marriage with joy, yet with care and thoughtfulness. Their friends and loved ones, realizing that this occasion meant much to them and desiring that its memory should be a happy one, helped them to make the taking of these sweet, sacred, and solemn vows as beautiful as possible, and at their completion showered them with congratulations and good wishes.

5. The Dwelling Place

Before and during the honeymoon they had been planning the establishment of their home. First in their planning they went back to Eden's garden to find

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 7

God's preparation for the first home.¹ They found that God made that home both beautiful and serviceable. He made it appeal to the aesthetic sense as well as to provide the necessities of comfort and well-being. "John and Mary," if they are poor, in moderate circumstances or rich, will plan their home together to fit their financial condition.

They are brave and sensible enough to be independent, realizing that true happiness does not depend on possessing a home equal in material value to any of their friends. They may rent for a time, even though they are able to own a home, so that together they may select or build it, making it fit their own needs and desires and one of which the upkeep or care will not be beyond their ability to provide. John loved Mary so much he wanted to provide for her, his queen, a more beautiful home than any he had yet seen. But Mary had foresight, and with love and kindness held the expense down, making him see that material equipment does not make a happy home if worry and anxiety are the result of unnecessary expense.

6. Beginning Right

John and Mary found the first young couple talking to God and listening to God talk to them; so they reasoned, "We have been reading God's Word together, listening to him, now we must talk, pray, to him together. We must be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let our requests be known unto God."²

One of the sweetest letters it has ever been my privilege to read was that of a bride to her mother. Among

¹Gen. 2:9, 10.

²Phil. 4:6.

8 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

other good things was this: "Mother, when John and I were at last alone in our berth on the Pullman we read God's Word together and prayed together." That mother had no fear but was extremely happy in thinking of this daughter's future. When husband and wife pray together from day to day, when each asks God to bless the other and to help them to be to the other all that God desires, the little aggravations, friction, suspicions, and hurts will vanish like the mist before the King of day.

7. Work and Play Together

John and Mary noted in their reading that God gave Adam and Eve work to do "to dress and keep the garden."¹ They remembered Priscilla and Aquila of the New Testament working together, teaching together, worshiping together, and together giving their lives in service to the Lord.² They resolved that they too would work together.

Even though colts have grown up together and have been broken to work singly, when they are harnessed together they have to learn to pull together. So when young people are married they must learn to do team work. The ignorance of this truth or the unwillingness of either to work to the advantage of the other causes the wreck of many a marriage. Adam and Eve enjoyed the fruit of the garden together, John and Mary said, "in our pleasure we will be together." The ideas of mutual interest, mutual rights, comradeship, mutual responsibility, and companionship appealed to them as fundamentals in the united life of man and woman.

¹Gen. 2:15.

²Acts 18:2, 3, 26; Rom. 16:3; 1 Cor. 16:19.

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 9

8. Difference in Male and Female

Men and women are different by divine purpose, different in order to be one. Each lacks something the other can supply. Each may profit by the strength of both. They are different that neither alone, but both together, may build their home as God would have it.

George N. Luccock says, "The appalling record of easy divorce is possible just because men and women fail to guard and hallow and tenderly think about the difference between male and female as due to the good hand of God upon us. In making male and female God ordained that in mutual tenderness, in mutual respect, in mutual love, for the increasing joy of both, husband and wife should be one flesh. There can be no safe and sane ideas of home-making save by going back to the beginning and facing fairly and reverently, modestly and boldly, what God meant when he made man so to be."¹

While much alike mentally, physically, and emotionally, yet they are different. There is a man's way of looking at and feeling about things, and a feminine way. Man's reason and woman's ready insight work together to solve life's problems.

9. Mutual Counsel

John and Mary thought about Adam and Eve and the tempter. Had Eve waited to talk over with Adam the devil's suggestions Eden's history might have been different. They decided there would be mutual counsel in their home about all important matters. There were so many vital subjects for mutual counsel that the days slipped rapidly by and the end of the week

¹"The Home God Meant," Westminister Press, Philadelphia, 1927.

10 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

came. Their expenses thus far had been paid from a fund John had saved for the purpose. With the end of the week came John's pay check--the reward for his labor. "How will we use it?" Again they turned to their guide, God's Book. They found that man should provide the necessities of life by his labor.¹

Under Christ's law his followers were commanded to work to provide for themselves and their families.² Under the Mosaic law God required his people to bring the first fruits of the harvest as an offering to him and a tenth of their income for the support of the Levites, their religious leaders and teachers.³ Jesus said, "Give and it shall be given unto you."⁴ "Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven."⁵ "Give as you have been prospered."⁶ Together, cheerfully, they put aside the portion they decided to give to God's work. Next they figured their weekly necessities, the amount they would save, and what to spend for pleasure. The latter item was not nearly so large a per cent as that laid by for the work of the Lord. Too many young people spend all they can spare on pleasure and have little left. Of that little, perhaps they give a portion into the treasury of the Lord.

John and Mary realized the importance of a savings account. John might sometime be out of work. One or the other might be sick. Doctors, dentists, and hospitals are costly. In their budget they must provide for all of these so they would not live beyond their income. While the installment plan is very tempting, one has to pay more for an article, and then if he buys

¹Gen. 2:19.

²1 Thess. 4:11, 12; Eph. 4:28; 1 Tim. 5:8.

³Lev. 23:10; Lev. 27:30-33; Num. 18:24.

⁴Luke 6:38.

⁵Matt. 6:19-21.

⁶1 Cor. 16:1, 2; 2 Cor. 8:12.

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 11

it and some misfortune or loss comes, and he cannot keep up the payments, he loses all he has paid, John and Mary decided not to buy until they had saved the price. This discipline of themselves would be worth more to them than the pleasure the coveted article would give.

10. The Duty of the Husband to the Wife, and the Wife to the Husband.

John read that the husband must love his wife as he loves his own body, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. He remembered the vows of his marriage to love, protect, cherish, and to be true to Mary. He reasoned with himself, and realized that this means more than the provision of all the comforts of material existence. It means the thoughtfulness that sees, and the readiness to shield and protect Mary from unpleasant things of every kind. It means that after she has been alone in the home all day, or is tired of the necessary routine of the care of the home, that a visit to a friend, a concert, or a lecture, or just a walk or drive in the open air would be a relaxation. He will see and sympathize with every pain of body, mind, or heart. He will understand her longing for her parents and home people, and will provide for occasional visits to her old home.

Mary read that older women are "to teach younger women to love their husbands, to be sober-minded, chaste, workers at home, kind and in subjection to their husbands."¹ She too remembered her marriage vows and reasoned with herself that she must be busy making their home a haven of quiet and rest to which John would turn each evening with joy, that his meals

¹Titus 2:3-5.

12 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

must contain the elements necessary, and be prepared in a way to supply every need of his body and that her companionship must be such as will rest his mind and brighten his outlook on life.

Edith Johnson, columnist, said on February 17, 1936, "Why Don't Women Save Their Men?" She said, "Too many men are passing from a tense world of affairs to a tense atmosphere at home. She who is convinced that life is treating her shabbily, who complains that her wardrobe is scanty, her pleasures too few, her cares too many, creates a condition of strain, mental and emotional, under which her husband may crack any time. Or perhaps she insists that her husband shall take her out socially when he is too weary to keep going. Whatever the cause, the result is the same. If our people would discard the foolish belief that a man's worth should be measured by the amount of money he makes and the worldly position he attains, fewer men's lives would flicker out in their early forties, their middle fifties and their sixties. New ideals of success must replace the present ones if the death rate among men is to be cut down as it should be. That partly, is up to the women who must start the good work on their little sons."¹

There are so many quiet home pleasures, reading, music, cultivation of flowers, beautifying the home, and the home life, that there isn't really a constant need of going beyond its walls. Yet some people are never happy unless they are going, going all the time. Mary remembered that their guide book said, "Godliness with contentment is great gain,"² and determined that she would cultivate the grace of contentment.

¹San Antonio Express.

²1 Tim. 6:6.

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 13

11. Hospitality.

As John and Mary thought and talked about their home, the place consecrated, set apart to their united happiness, they said: "We must not be selfish even with our home," and their minds turned to God's book and they thought about the hospitality of Abraham,¹ the great woman of Shunem,² of the home of Peter to which he took the Master,³ that of Mary and Martha and Lazarus where a welcome always awaited Jesus our Lord.⁴ They remembered that hospitality was one of the graces of the early Christians. John and Mary planned that their home, too, must be used to honor Jehovah, to comfort and bless all who came within its portals. Mary said, we will look out for the young men and women away from home and share some of our joy with them. John said, "There are several men in the office where I work who are lonely in this big city. They must visit with us." "Brother A, who is soon to hold our meeting must be our guest." On and on they planned to use their home as God would have them use it. As we think how God blessed Abraham, how the great woman of Shunem was rewarded with a son, how Peter's wife's mother was healed, and how Lazarus was brought from the tomb four days after his death, we can see by faith in our Father's promises the blessings that will surely flow into this home which was being built as God would have it. "Be it ever so humble, there is no place like home."

In the words of Arthur Guiterman, John and Mary prayed from sincere hearts.

¹Gen. 18:1-8.

²2 Kings 4:12-37.

³Matt. 8:14, 15.

⁴Luke 10:38-42.

14 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

"Bless the four corners of this house,
And be the lintel blest;
And bless the hearth and bless the board,
And bless each place of rest;
And bless the door that opens wide
To stranger as to kin;
And bless each crystal window-pane
That lets the starlight in;
And bless the rooftree overhead
And every sturdy wall.
The peace of man, the peace of God,
The peace of love on all."¹

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER I

1. What constitutes a home?
2. Who is its author and what is his reason?
3. Why is it not good for man to dwell alone?
4. What was the purpose of woman's creation?
5. Give the different traits of character or personality of the ideal woman described in Proverbs 31.
6. Describe the physique, intellect and traits of character that a man should possess who would build a home.
7. Show how Paul's words to Timothy describe Christian character.
8. How may young people learn to know each other so well that there can be no doubt of their congeniality in mind and spirit?
9. Discuss the permanence of the marriage bond.
10. What does the Apostle Paul teach with reference to the nature of marriage?
11. How is the greatest happiness to be attained by those who marry?
12. Define love fully.
13. With what understanding of love are many people satisfied?

¹From "Death and General Putnam and 101 Other Poems."

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 15

14. What was God's purpose in giving marriage to the human family?
15. From what do Christians derive their greatest happiness in marriage?
16. Should they neglect or fall to recognize the threefold purpose of marriage, what are the results?
17. What is the difference in effect between weddings of beauty and sacredness and of boisterous and coarse revelling?
18. What of the dwelling place of the home as God would have it?
19. How may Christians insure their happiness If they truly love each other?
20. Why are men and women different?
21. In what ways should each recognize this difference and seek to fill the place designed for them in this unity?
22. What is necessary to family peace and prosperity?
23. What of God's part of the income?
24. Describe the love the husband should have for the wife and the wife for the husband.
25. What of the atmosphere of the home?
26. Discuss hospitality.
27. What blessings will come into the home built as God would have it?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER 1

The Bible.
"Twenty-four Views of Marriage," edited by Clarence A. Spaulding, published by Macmillan, New York, New York.
"Courtship and Marriage," by P. D. Wilmeth, Cleburne. Texas, published by the author.
"Marriage," by Ernest R. Groves, published by Henry Holt and Company, New York, New York.

CHAPTER TWO
THE HOME LIFE FROM DAY TO DAY

1. Starting the Day Right.

As Mary considered her task of making their home mean all to them that it should, she thought over the home of Proverbs 31. She remembered that the ideal woman rose early, had breakfast and started the work of the household with system and order.¹ She remembered too the wise man said, "Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: so shall thy poverty come as a robber and thy want as an armed man."² She thought too as she looked at the clock on the mantel, the wedding gift of John's grandfather, that he had a motive in providing them with a constant reminder of passing time.

Mary decided they would rise early. She and John had been trained in childhood to dress quickly, not to dawdle or waste time when making their toilet. But they weren't careless. She made herself neat, clean, and dainty and he was well groomed when he left for the office. If there had been any misunderstanding, any irritation, between them (and sometimes there will be even between people who love each other devotedly) Mary took it all away, and sent him out to face the problems of his work with his heart warmed by her

¹Prov. 31:15.

²Prov. 6:10, 11.

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goodbye. He thought all day with pleasure of the welcome that awaited his return.

2. Busy all the Day.

Mary remembered that God had said that young women should be "workers at home."¹ She considered too the care with which the ideal woman gathers and prepares the food for the family, how she makes their warm clothing, how she provides appropriate clothing for herself and beautifies her home with carpets of tapestry.² Mary was busy with all these tasks. But she sang about her work and when John came each day she could show him something she had done to add comfort or beauty to their home. John built some bookshelves to hold their favorite books which they brought from their old homes, and the books his father gave them when they were married. These were books to help them in their Bible study and work in the church. Mary varnished her rocker she had brought from the old home. Her mother gave it to her on her fifteenth birthday, so it was a source of sweet memories. They hung the pictures; some from their parent's homes, some of their college life, and some that John loved best--those that Mary painted. Curtains, cushions, rugs, and pot plants were added from day to day so the house breathed more of the air of hominess. Before the springtime came, John and Mary were planning to surround the house with the beauty of grass, flowers, and vines, possibly a vegetable garden. Shade trees and fruit trees entered the plan, and a rock garden and fish pond. Always their time was filled with pleasant work. She wrote to her

¹Titus 2:5.

²Prov. 31.

18 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

father, "we get such a thrill out of every blade of great that peeps through the soil, and every plant that comes from the seed we have planted."

3. Their Evenings.

John and Mary desired to keep abreast of the time. They subscribed to a few good magazines, and they added to their library a choice book now and then. Their evenings were spent in reading or discussing worthwhile themes and in listening to good music. Friends came into this hospitable home, and John and Mary, remembering the prayer of the minister who performed their marriage ceremony, began doing their best to make their home a blessing in its example of system, order, cheerfulness, contentment and peace. It blessed by sharing its comfort with those less fortunate.

4. Entertaining.

John and Mary were social by nature and they had learned that association with others in a pleasurable way is an advantage to everyone. They discussed this matter and asked, "Can we find any examples, any instruction in God's Word?" They found Matthew giving a feast in Jesus' honor, inviting all his old associates that they might see and know his Lord.¹ They found Jesus accepting the invitations of the Pharisees to dine with them.² They read of the feast given in Bethany by Simon the leper in Jesus' honor just before his crucifixion.³ They read too, that Paul instructed Christians not to associate with other Christians who had sinned in such a way as to bring reproach on the

¹Luke 5:29.

²Luke 11:37.

³John 12:2-11.

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church; not even to eat with them.¹ They remembered. Jesus taught that in entertaining, as in everything else, a Christian's motive must be that of doing good, either by giving pleasure, or extending his influence. In giving pleasure Jesus taught that the poor and afflicted, those who could not return the favor, should be invited to feasts.² He condemned the Pharisee who invited him into his home and then failed to be courteous.³

Thus they found by precept and example that God would have the home to be used at convenient times for the entertainment of others.

5. Forms of Entertainment.

Now what kind of entertainment should Christians have? Should they entertain in the same manner as the people of the world? Mary and John remembered, "Be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your minds."⁴ They reasoned that in a home meriting the approval of God the means of entertainment should not be such as to produce impure thoughts or actions; the jokes should be free from the sensual or suggestion of evil. They remembered that Paul writing to a young man said, "Flee youthful lusts,"⁵ and that Jesus said, "Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."⁶ So they concluded that dancing or anything else that would have even a tendency to arouse lust could not be engaged in by Christians.

¹1 Cor. 5:11.

²Luke 14:13.

³Luke 7:36-50.

⁴Rom. 12:2.

⁵2 Tim. 2:22.

⁶Matt. 5:28.

20 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

6. Refreshments.

Should they serve wine or anything of an alcoholic nature, was another question; for this had become a popular custom. Again they renewed their minds and read, "Look not upon the wine when it is red, when it moveth in the cup,"¹ and "No drunkard can enter heaven,"² that Christians were not to eat with drunkards;³ so of course they could not serve anything that would lead one to be a drunkard.

7. Card Playing

Should they play bridge or any other game of cards? "Avoid the very appearance of evil"⁴ came to their mind. At the thought of all the dirty dives and brilliant gambling houses where this game rules supreme they could see only evil. The law of the land which God said was made for the evil doer puts its ban on card playing. They remembered that Jesus said, "Whosoever shall cause one of these little ones to stumble it is better that a millstone should be hanged about his neck and he be cast into the sea."⁵ John and Mary knew that card games have been the source of more widespread gambling than any other games and that the development of this skill in social affairs often leads to the life of gambling. Anything that breaks the restraining power of the conscience is injurious to the life. They decided that they could not risk the dangers of card playing in their home.

8. A High Standard.

John and Mary reasoned that as Paul commanded Christians to "think on things that were pure, lovely,

¹Prov. 23:31.

²1 Cor. 6 10.

³1 Cor. 5:11.

⁴1 Thess. 5:22.

⁵Luke 17:2.

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and of good report (reputation),"¹ that in all their entertaining, only thoughts of this kind should be provoked. Surely people of intelligence who love the good can be entertained without having to resort to anything that will lower the spiritual nature. They resolved to use their home to honor the great and the good, to extend their influence and to give pleasure to those who had little in their own home, and that their parties should be characterized by friendliness, courtesy and joyousness.

9. Recreation.

There is much said today about recreation being necessary to the recuperation of the body and the mind from the grind of the daily task, and as John and Mary thought over God's dealing with the Jewish people they remembered that three times each year the Jew Went to Jerusalem to keep the three great annual feasts.² While these feasts were religious observances the journeys from far and near, camping by the wayside, and the contact with friends and loved ones from distant places, and the feast itself after the religious rites were completed brought a change from the everyday life and were recreational in effect. They remembered too how Jesus, the master teacher, after receiving the reports from the disciples he had sent out in pairs to preach and to perform miracles said to them, "Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place and rest a while, For there were many coming and going and they had no leisure so much as to eat. And they went away in a boat to a desert place apart."³

¹Phil. 4:8.

²Lev. 23.

³Mark 6:31, 32.

22 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

10. Definition.

What is recreation? Dr. Luther Gulick says, "It is what we do when we are free to do what we want to do." It covers all types of activities. To a woman it may be r ding, needle work, walking, flower culture, visiting, etc. To a man it may be horseback riding, golfing, gardening, reading, attending a lecture, or one of many others. The young person's recreation will be slightly different and will have more physical activity with it. What we do in our leisure indicates our choices, our standards, our tastes, our ideals. The indoor worker will desire walks, drives, and picnics in the hills, or fishing in the streams. The farmer and stockman and their wives will desire the sights of the city, the lectures, concerts, art exhibits and museums.

11. Results.

Recreation brings a joyous element into the "abundant life" of Christian living. It promotes mental and physical growth and can strengthen the moral and religious life through the practice of self-control, obedience, reverence, cooperation and good will. It is said a great golf player was told when in his teens that he would never be great in that field until he learned to control his violent temper. At the age of twenty-five he was master of his temper and also king of the golf world.

The social expressions are stimulated and developed by recreational activities. Picnics, parties, and games develop friendliness, courtesy and joyousness.

12. Dangers.

There are dangers to be guarded against. Over-indulgence in any activity leads to a waste of time and

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 23

when the point of recreation is passed it becomes either work or dissipation.

There must be high standards by which we shall judge the worth of the various forms of recreation. Christians must not be conformed to the ways of the world in this field. Are they "pure, lovely, and of good report"? The world has commercialized recreations so that the emphasis is on the financial return and not on the character value. The family as God would have it must choose its recreation from simple things, inexpensive pleasures and those that may be shared with others.

13. The Lord's Day.

The first day of the week as it is so often called in God's holy book was chosen by the heavenly Father as his day. Jesus came forth from the tomb on that day¹ and appeared to his disciples often on that day.² On that day he sent the Holy Spirit to the disciples and so gave life to his body, the church, here on earth.³ As John and Mary thought about these glorious events they wanted to know how God would have them use this day, his day.

A. Example.

They learned that Christ's followers, the early Christians, met together to study God's Word, to break bread, to cooperate in all the work Christ had commanded them to do, and to pray to Jehovah.⁴ John and Mary determined that this day should be consecrated in their lives and their home to God's service.

¹John 20:1.

²John 20:26.

³Acts 2:1-4.

⁴Acts 2:42.

24 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

As he has claimed it for himself we are stealing when we use it for selfish pleasure. They were not willing to rob God.

B. Church Attendance.

They were up early. Mary had prepared much of her dinner for that day on Saturday. They were on time at Bible school, and as they had the talent for teaching they did their part in this work. God had given them the ability to sing. This talent was used for God's honor. Had they been only able to follow, study and learn they would have been glad and happy to take their places in the classes to learn and to encourage others to be learners in God's school.

C. A Happy Day.

Mary and John planned to make this the happiest day of the week in their home. The house was sweet and clean. The dinner, though prepared the day before, was the best of the week. They could sit and talk over the morning sermon or lesson without hurry. The afternoon was spent in visiting the sick, the stranger, the new Christian, or the indifferent, careless one. If the weather was too cold or wet for this or if health required a quiet afternoon, reading, singing or writing messages of cheer to those in need of such, filled the time. The evening meal, a light, dainty one was prepared and served together. Again to God's house they went together to do their best to make the evening service as successful as possible. They remembered that God through Paul said, "Let us consider one another to provoke unto love and good works; not forsaking our own assembling together, as the cus-

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 25

tom of some is but exhorting one another; and so much the more as ye see the day drawing nigh."¹

John and Mary were happy as they retired at the close of such a perfect day spent in service and worship together.

HOMES

I love my home so passionately that I
Cannot pass other houses carelessly;
Their chimneys are a signal on the sky;
Their windows smile, their doorways beckon me.
Their roofs may shelter so much tenderness;
Such trust and faith, such hope and ruddy cheer;
Such sacrifice: Love to heal and bless;
They are such shields from loneliness and fear.
And four walls may encompass all of life;
The agony of birth, the shock of death;
There tragedy may stalk them, pain be rife
To break the heart, and want may bate the breath.

Yet always Love has been the pioneer,
And Hope the architect where homes are found,
And Faith has struck his silver blade to clear
Away the stubble and to break the ground.
And back of these, forever there is God,
Who set His seal upon all homes the day
He made the first man from the dusty sod,
And started him upon his earthly way.
These are the things my heart cannot forget
When I pass down a road where homes are set.
--Grace Noll Crowell.²

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER II

1. What lessons may a wife learn in home management from Proverbs 31 and other Proverbs?
2. In what spirit should a man go out from his home to his labor?

¹Heb. 10:25.

²In The Christian Home.

26 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

3. Discuss "workers at home."
4. What is working together?
5. How may the evenings at home be made pleasant and restful?
6. What lessons may be learned from God's work with reference to entertaining others in the home?
7. What rules should govern the forms of entertainment offered and refreshments served?
8. Give the standards by which entertaining should be measured in The Home as God Would Have It.
9. Is recreation necessary?
10. Does God recognize the human need of recreation?
11. What is recreation?
12. What are the results?
13. What dangers are to be guarded against?
14. Whose day is the first day of the week?
15. How does he expect His children to spend His day?
16. How may it be made a happy day?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER II

The Bible.
The Home God Meant, by George N. Luccock, published by Westminister Press, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Religious Education in the Family, by Henry F. Cope, published by The University of Chicago Press, Chicago, Illinois.
Homemaking by Mrs. Batsell Baxter, published by Miss Alma Morgan, Abilene, Texas.
The Path to Home, by Edgar A. Guest, published by The Reilly and Let Company, Chicago, Illinois.
The Nation's Challenge to the Home, by William J. Knox, published by The Abingdon Press, Cincinnati, Ohio.

CHAPTER III
PARENTHOOD

In the beginning God said "Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it."¹ The functions of the family in the home as God would have it center about children. The sweet singer of Israel said, "Lo, children are an heritage of Jehovah."² The wise man noted, "Children's children are the crown of old men and the glory of children are their fathers."³ The Apostle Paul wrote, "I desire that young women marry, bear children, guide the house (the family)."⁴

The functions of the family are biological, mental, moral, social, and religious.

1. The Biological Function

The biological function is reproduction or the perpetuation of the race. Without children the marriage has fallen short of its full end. Marriage was not established just that men and women might enjoy themselves together, no matter how noble and removed from mere passion their love may become. It is that they beget and rear children. Desires of sex constitute no end in themselves but are the means to the reproduction of the species.

¹Gen. 1:28.

²Psalm 127:3.

³Prov. 17:6.

⁴1 Tim. 5:14.

28 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

Every child born into this world has a right to a healthy heritage. He did not ask to come. The parents have a grave responsibility resting upon them at this point. They should not only be wise and loving parents, but parents who can give him a heritage of sound health, sound mind and good character. Heredity means all those tendencies of body, mind and temperament, all the "family traits" which are in us at birth distinct from traits acquired through life. Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish, as Susan's temper may have been inherited from her mother or she may have acquired it from association with her mother. Her love of music might be inherited, or it may be the effect of constantly hearing good music.

The child is formed from germ cells of father and mother. Each human being is born with his quota and does not add to their number, during his life, so the child cannot inherit any trait that has been acquired by either parent, since the germ cells live independently of the organism (the person). No matter how many generations of terriers have their tails cut off their puppies will always be born with tails. No parent need fear handing down to his children any affliction he did not inherit. The second law of inheritance is that any innate characteristic possessed by both parents is doubly likely to be passed on to the child. If both parents have weak eyes the child will more likely be afflicted. This second law will be a blessing to those of well-mated parents as the good traits are inherited as well as the evil. A third truth that should be better known is that certain defects or tendencies are likely to be passed down to one's children. No one should have children in whose family there is a marked tendency to epilepsy, feeble-mindedness, St.

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 29

Vitus Dance, or deaf-mutism. The affliction may skip a generation, or even two, then crop out again. What an awful responsibility rests on an individual, who by marrying a normal member of such a family, helps to pass on defective seed to future generations. An individual health certificate is not sufficient before marriage. Parents who are careful of the blood of the family into which their children marry are wise.

Venereal diseases are not hereditary but some of these diseases affect the unborn child. Thousands die before birth and often of mothers innocent, but infected by diseased husbands. Even though years have passed since his sin and seeming cure, the infection remains to afflict his wife and either kill, blind, or otherwise afflict his children. It is said that sixty per cent of the children of cigarette-smoking mothers die before they are two years old; yet women, even after they have been told, will continue the habit and some will smoke even while pregnant. The effects of alcoholism in the parents are nearly always to be found in their children. A predisposition to disease, nervous and moral instability, and an abnormal craving for excitement may be the effect in the child. There is three times the tendency to tuberculosis and a much larger per cent to serious nervous and mental disorders in children of alcoholics than is present in children of normal parents. Moral delinquency, dishonesty, theft and many other weaknesses can be traced to the effects of alcohol in the heredity.

It is an irrevocable law of nature that the child must suffer for the sin of the parents "to the third and fourth generation,"¹ even if these sins have been repented of, and forgiven by a loving heavenly Father.

¹Ex. 34:7.

30 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

Yet we hear men and women say, "It isn't any one's business what I drink and smoke, or how I live." No crop is so sure as "wild oats." The laws of heredity in human beings as well as those in animal and plant kingdoms should be taught to our children.

Environment, nurture, and teaching count for much, but traits in the blood are not to be overlooked. Good soil and proper cultivation are fine but these cannot make up for poor seed.

2. The Mental or Educational Function

It is not enough that life be passed on from one generation to another by bringing babies into existence. These babies must be cared for during their period of helplessness. This period must be one of education so that each generation may profit by the experiences of the preceding ones, and life may be lived on a higher level. The educational function of the family is the mental, moral, and spiritual perpetuation of the race. During this period must be developed the distinctively human powers of thinking, feeling, choosing and doing; the communication of habits, information, interests, ideals, beliefs, and hopes which make up the achievements thus far of human beings. In the early days the family was the only educational institution. The Hebrews, God's chosen people, were commanded to teach their children. They taught them God's laws and trained them for the practical everyday life. Now we have schools to do a great deal of this training but in the home as God would have it, he would not have the parents surrender completely this function; for he says with reference to his laws and promises, "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house and

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 31

when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down and when thou risest up."¹ Again, "Fathers provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."² Edward Littleton calls the influences of home life in early childhood, the cornerstone of education. He maintains that the fundamental issues of character have been settled for most children before they enter public school, as a result of these same quiet influences and associations.³ Horace Bushnell held that the first three years of a child's life are more important, as a general fact in their bearing upon education and character, than all the years of discipline that may come afterward.⁴ Luther Weigle says, "The family in its home life has the child first, and the impression which he then receives will serve as a background, foundation, and apperceptive basis for all subsequent education; it has him in his most impressionable years and educates him by the method of constant contact and association, with influences all the more vital, because for the most part, indirect and unnoticed; these influences are of especial importance in their bearing upon the growing character of the child."⁵

3. The Moral Function

The moral function is the character development of both parents and children. In the family we have a little group of young and old, immature and mature, living, loving, and laboring together for the good of all, the constant contact making necessary consideration each for the rights of the others, always giving and receiving service--a wonderful opportunity for the

¹Deut. 6:7.

²Eph. 6:4.

³The Corner Stone of Education.

⁴Christian Nurture, Part 2, Ch. 1.

⁵The Training of Children in the Christian Family--Pilgrim Press, Pages 8, 9.

32 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

development of unselfishness, helpfulness and even self-sacrifice. No better training ground for character could be found. W. F. Lofthouse, at the close of his study of "Ethics and the Family" concludes with this: "the mutual forbearance, common endeavor, and spontaneous self-effacing and self-fulfilling affection in true family life constitute the type of all social and religious well-being." He goes on to say, "All that has made human life worth remembering, has had its origin in the simple restraints and services of the family. All that will make it worth admiring will flow from their preservation, consecration, and extension." The parents as well as the children are built up, strengthened, and made more like our blessed Master who taught his disciples to see to it that no stumbling blocks were. put in the way of little ones.

4. The Social Function

The home is the elemental unit in the organization of society, and should serve as an instrument of social control and social progress, and should fit the children as they grow to maturity for life in the larger social and political relations. Civilization depends on the ability of one generation to transmit its highest and best idealism to the succeeding generations. In the process of transmitting spiritual power the family is first in importance. People are wont to depend on the schools in this matter. Music, pictures and printed matter make their addition, but no organization or device can shift the center of power from the home where God placed it.

5. The Religious Function

The family should be a center of Christian living, and of Christian worship, as a foundation for the

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 33

child's understanding of God as a father, and his fellowmen as brothers, and as a basic unit in the realization upon earth of the kingdom of God.

The social and religious functions are closely connected. Jesus said to love God with all one's heart, mind, and strength was the first commandment and the second was to love one's neighbor. "It is the privilege and responsibility of the parent to interpret God to his children in terms of his own character, and so to direct the spirit of his family that it may fitly serve as the type for all good social living. A Christian family is one which, established in the Christian convictions of the parents, seeks so to express these convictions in its spirit and practice that its children may grow up to be children of God."¹ This kind of family cannot be founded on sentiment or superstition. We must discover the laws of family life which are determined by its nature and purpose, we must find right standards, we must discriminate between things that are permanent and those that are passing, between those we must preserve and those we must discard, in order that we may prepare children for the fine type of life in the home as God would have it. We will not do this by accident. It is important to study cooking and sanitation. How much more important it is to study the science of home direction and the art of family living.

It costs a great deal to maintain a home where honor, the joy of love, and high ideals, constantly dwell. It calls for the sacrifice of time, pleasures and so-called social advantages as well as money and work. It requires thought and study; it is too precious and sacred

¹The Training of Children in the Christian Family, Weigle--Pilgrim Press, Page 13.

34 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

to be cheap; it endures to eternity. This kind of work is never an easy task or without pain and sacrifice; and patient study of its problems is part of the price we pay.

John and Mary had been giving time and thought to this question and had learned the truths expressed in these preceding paragraphs. They wanted their lives to be as complete as possible, they wanted the joy that comes from having children in their home, they wanted the satisfaction of sons and daughters about them in their later years. They had talked, hoped and prayed that God would bless them with this joy if it was best. When Mary realized that this blessing was to be theirs she could hardly wait to tell John.

Joy filled John's heart but there was fear and a new tenderness; for he knew that Mary must suffer and her life might be endangered by bringing him a son or daughter. He determined to give her every care, to be very gentle, kind and thoughtful. George M. Luccock says, "Some husbands do not know until they learn it by experience, often not until they have caused a good deal of heartache, that during the period preceding childbirth a woman must go through many and various ordeals. Day by day her burdens increase. She is subject to peculiar trials both in body and in mind. It is a period in which it is very easy for husband and wife to grow apart, in which misunderstandings readily arise, in which fault findings may become a habit."¹

John and Mary were determined that their child should have a strong body if thought and care could make it so. They sought the advice of a good physician and followed it explicitly. Mary went about her

¹The Home God Meant--Westminster Press, Philadelphia, Page 49.

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 35

usual tasks and recreations except those that might over-tax her strength. She rested a little more than was her custom, and as the months passed, increased the short periods of rest through the day. She ate as usual, except the heavier food or that more difficult of digestion. She walked in the open air as much as possible; and above all she was radiantly happy, preparing the tiny garments, making the layette very simple an dainty. She did not buy expensive garments, or injure her eyes with too much decorative handwork.

The little bed was made ready in the nursery. If the house is not large enough for a nursery, the corner or the bed should be screened from too much light and from draughts, so baby can have the privacy and quiet that will help him to be free from nervousness.

John took Mary at frequent intervals to see the doctor or nurse, since they knew that it is much better to discover any complication before it is too late; and to know that all is right gives a peace of mind that is worth much to the expectant mother.

Mary's mother came from her distant home, and one morning the family of two was four in number for Jack and Jill decided to both come at once so they could play and work and grow up together. They were perfect physically; Mary was all right; John was very, very grateful. As he and Mary looked into the faces of these precious little ones they realized that a baby is the greatest mystery in the world, the greatest responsibility, a never dying soul to guide through this life to eternity, and the greatest opportunity. Women can dream of great careers, but that of a mother is the greatest.

Henry F. Cope in Religious Education of the Family, on page 8 says, "No nobler social work, no deeper

36 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

religious work, no higher educational work is done anywhere than that of men and women, high or humble, who set themselves to the fitting of their children for life's business, equipping them with principles and habits upon which they may fall back in trying hours, and make of home the sweetest, strongest, holiest, happiest place on earth.

"Heaven only knows the price that must be paid for that; heaven only knows the worth of that work. But if we are wise we shall each take up our work for our world where it lies nearest to us, as parents or kin, our work in the shop where manhood is in the making, where it is being made fit to dwell long in the land in the family home."¹

If the parents of four sons, who were preachers of the gospel, had filled in their task of bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, think what might have been the fate of the thousands of converts these four sons have induced to walk in the right way!

On and on the wave goes to the end of time. A soul to mould into the image of Christ is the opportunity of parents. Antoinette Lamareaux speaking of the great principles revealed in the development of life from infancy to maturity says, "The factor of human contact appears in every one. The question, "What is my touch upon this unfolding life?" cannot be evaded. The stone cutter takes the marble and hews out the rough block; the sculptor finds its hidden soul. The artisan takes the canvas and the common sign appears; the artist makes it immortal. But God gives life to parents and teachers to fashion. Will hands clumsy and unskilled miss the perfect beauty, or will the touch of

¹The University of Chicago Press, Chicago, Ill.

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 37

master workmanship bring forth a likeness to the Christ?"¹

I HAD NOT KNOWN

I had seen
The limpid beauty in cool drops of dew
Guarded by roses lest the coming dawn
Should steal their jewels while the day was new,
A timid doe kissing her spotted fawn.

I had heard
A turtle dove's soft notes burdened with love,
An Echo's voice calling in deep despair,
The flutter of a humming bird above
The coy flowers with snowy breasts laid bare.

But I had not known
Love at its full until with evening skies
I passed a cot and heard a mother sing
A lullaby, and saw her children's eyes,
Full of the night, close in sweet slumbering.
--Hester Kenton, in Kansas City Star.

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER III

1. About what do the functions of the family center n the home as God would have it?
2. What does Paul tell us is God's desire with reference to young women?
3. What are the five functions of the family?
4. What is the right of every child born in this world?
5. What is the meaning of heredity?
6. Give the first and second laws of heredity. What then is a responsibility of people who have imperfect heredity?
7. How do venereal diseases affect children?
8. What is the effect of the use of tobacco by the mothers?
9. What of alcohol?
10. Can good soil and proper cultivation ever make up for poor seed?
11. What is the mental or educational function?
12. How were the Hebrews required to teach their children and how are Christians to bring them up?

¹"The Unfolding Life," Fleming H. Revell Company, New York.

38 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

13. What does Edward Littleton call "the cornerstone of education"?
14. What does he say of the importance of the home life on character?
15. What do Horace Bushnell and Luther Weigle say on this point?
16. What Is the moral function of the family?
17. Why is family life excellent for discipline and development of Christ-like personality?
18. What is the home in the organization of society?
19. On what does civilization depend?
20. Why is the home the foundation of the child's understanding of God?
21. Why are the social and religious functions so closely connected?
22. What must we discover if we would prepare children for the fine type of life that will bring the greatest happiness now and ever after?
23. What is a husband's duty to his wife when a little one is coming?
24. What does it cost to maintain a home as God would have it?
25. Give the necessary care of the mother and preparation for the child.
26. What does Henry F. Cope say of rearing children in a home as God would have it?
27. What is the opportunity of parents?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER III

The Bible.
Parents and Their Children, by Mary E. Moxcey. Published by The Methodist Book Concern, Chicago, Illinois.
Fathers and Mothers, by George Herbert Betts. Published by The Bobbs Merrill Company, Indianapolis, Indiana.
The Training of Children in the Christian Family, by Luther A. Weigle. Published by Pilgrim Press, Chicago, Illinois.
Religious Education in the Family. Published by Henry F. Cope, The University of Chicago Press, Chicago, Illinois.
The Unfolding Life, by Antoinette Lamereaux. Published by Fleming H. Revell Company, New York, New York.

CHAPTER FOUR
CHRIST-LIKE PERSONALITY

James L. Gordon hives us this definition: "Personality is the great driving force. It is the throb of the pulse, the fire in the eye, the blood in the vein, the quicksilver in the brain, the lightning in the nerve, the electricity in the touch, the transfiguration in the face, the motion in the limb, the action in the soul. Personality is Life, Heart, Mind, Soul, Spirit, God."¹ Personality is the sum total of all that a person is. J. P. Sewell and H. E. Speck give us this definition of Christian or Christ-like personality:² "Christ-like personality is one which partakes of the divine nature; `Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust' (2 Peter 1:4).

"It is personality recreated in the image of Christ: 'But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are transformed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord' (2 Cor. 3:18). It is personality indwelt, mastered, and used by Christ.

"Christian personality includes intellect instructed in Christian Truth: 'No man can come unto me, ex-

¹System Bible Study--System Bible Company, Chicago, Ill., Page 765.

²The Church and Her Ideal Educational Situation--Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.

40 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

cept the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day. It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned from the Father, cometh unto me' (John 6:44, 45). 'Go ye therefore and teach all nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you, and lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world, Amen' (Matt. 28:19, 20).

"Christian personality includes emotions fixed on God and the things of God. 'Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself' (Matt. 22: 37-39) . 'If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth' (Col. 3:1, 2) . 'Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world the love of the Father is not in him" (1 John 2:15) . 'Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil cleave to that which is good' (Romans 12:9) .

"Christian personality includes a will, lovingly and gladly submitting to the will of God: 'For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me' (John 6:38) . 'Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work' (John 4:34). 'And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed,

THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT 41

saying, O My Father, if it be possible let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will but as thou wilt' (Matthew 26:39). 'Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in Heaven' (Matthew 7:21) .

"Christian personality includes a body kept pure as a dwelling place for God and for his glory: 'Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are' (1 Cor. 3:16, 17). 'For ye are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's' (1 Cor. 6:20).

"Christian personality includes a life used in working out the purposes of God among men; 'I must work the works of him that sent me while it is day; the night cometh when no man can work' (John 9:4). 'Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do; for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise' (John 5:19). 'Therefore my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord' (1 Cor. 15:58)."¹

John and Mary faced the responsibility of developing the personality of each of their children into the likeness of Christ the Lord. While they realized its weight they were not daunted or afraid, for had not

¹The Church and Her Ideal Educational Situation--Firm Foundation Publishing House. Austin, Texas.

42 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

God their Father promised to help in every time of need?¹ They remembered, "Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my pathway,² and, "All scripture given by inspiration of God is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto every good work."³ They prayed in the words of Manoah, "Teach us what we shall do unto the child."⁴ They began the search of their Guide Book. They found that the human family separated themselves from God, losing his image, even while knowing him, by not glorifying him as God; and by failing to be grateful. They "became vain in their reasonings, and their senseless heart was darkened."⁵

I. Faith.

Thus John and Mary realized that faith, confidence, trust, must be the foundation of the Christ-like personality. They found that God through Peter gives us a complete picture of the person who will escape the corruption that is in the world by lust and become a partaker of the divine nature (2 Peter 1:1-8). As this was just what they desired, they gave this picture a very careful study and found it in complete accord with the natural development of the spiritual nature discovered by those who have given their lives to this study.

Without faith in the food we eat, the exercise and the care we give our bodies, our physical life would fail. Without faith the farmer would not plow and sow and reap. The manufacturer would not buy the raw material, the merchant would not buy his mer-

¹Heb. 4:16

²Psalm 119:105.

³2 Tim. 3:16, 17.

⁴Judges 13:8.

⁵Rom. 1:21.

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chandise, and the economic life would fail Without faith the student would not give years of study to learn from the experience of others who have lived and discovered and recorded these experiences, and the mental development of the race would fall far short of its possibility. And as Mary and John studied God's holy word they learned from Paul, "Faith Is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."¹ "Without faith it is impossible to please him for he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek after him."² From Isaiah's pen they read, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee because he trusted thee."³ From the Psalmist they heard, "They that trust in Jehovah shall be Mount Zion which cannot be moved but abideth forever."⁴ Also, "My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise"⁵ and "He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in Jehovah."⁶ Over and over they found a wealth of such statements, and the lives of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, of Joseph, Moses, Joshua, and Daniel and the Hebrew children, of Nehemiah, Mary and Joseph taught the same truth. The apostles and martyrs of the early church all give proof of the fact that faith is the foundation principle of Christ-like personality.

God says to give all diligence to add. to build upon this faith virtue.⁷

II. Virtue.

As John and Mary studied virtue they realized that

¹Heb. 11:1.

²Heb. 11:6.

³Isa. 26:3.

⁴Psalm 125:1.

⁵Psalm 57:7.

⁶Psalms 112:7.

⁷2 Peter 1:5.

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it includes a number of important traits in the personality that would be like Christ.

1 Purity.

They thought first of purity and remembered that Jesus pronounced a blessing on the pure in heart.¹ They knew that in God's word the term heart includes the intellect; "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he";² the will; "as a man purposeth in his heart so let him give";³ and the emotions; "Thou shalt love the Lord Thy God with all thy heart."⁴ So they came to the conclusion that the thoughts, motives, purposes, and emotions must be kept pure.

2. Gratitude.

They learned that gratitude is included in the Christ-like personality. The lack of it is given as a fundamental reason for man's separation from God.⁵ They remembered that Jesus asked, where are the nine, when only one of ten lepers he had healed returned to thank him.⁶ They remembered also his example of thanking his father for food; and the command through Paul, "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God;⁷ "In nothing be anxious but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."⁸ All through the Psalms in the Old Testament and the epistles in the New, men are taught to be grateful to God, the giver of every good and perfect gift, and to all those about them who continually minister to their needs.

¹Matt. 5:8.

²Prov. 23:7.

³2 Cor. 9:7.

⁴Matt. 22:37.

⁵Rom. 1:21.

⁶Luke 17:17.

⁷1 Thess. 5:18.

⁸Phil. 4:6.

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3. Attitude.

The right attitude toward good and evil, John and Mary found, is another important virtue. Jesus said, "Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness."¹ Hunger and thirst are the strongest desires of the body. From Paul's pen they read. "Abhor that which is evil and cleave to that which is good."² Abhor and cleave are strong words. Abhor means to hate, to despise, to shrink away from, so evil must be repulsive to the Christ-like person. Cleave means to hold on with a grip which cannot be broken. These truths are taught over and over throughout the Guide Book by example, by command, and by strong exhortation.

4. Obedience.

John and Mary found that obedience is one of the cardinal virtues. Over and over they read in the record of God's dealings with the Israelites, "If you will obey my voice";³ "keep my commandments";⁴ "If thou wilt walk in my ways and keep my statutes";⁵ and again, "Behold to obey is better than sacrifice and to hearken than the fat of rams."⁶ Jesus says, "Blessed are they that hear the word of God and keep it."⁷ "If ye love me ye will keep my commandments";⁸ "I came not to do mine own will but the will of my Father."⁹ John the beloved disciple said, "Blessed are they that do his commandments that they may have the right to the tree of life and may enter in through the gates into the city."¹⁰ These are just a few of the

¹Matt. 5:6.

²Rom. 12:9.

³Ex. 19:5.

⁴Ex. 20:6.

⁵1 Kings 3:4.

⁶I Sam. 15:22.

⁷Luke 11:28.

⁸John 14:15.

⁹John 6:38.

¹⁰Rev. 22:14.

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very numerous passages teaching a recognition of authority and obedience to it, and especially the authority of Jehovah, to be absolutely necessary in the character partaking of the divine nature.

5. Honesty and Truthfulness.

John and Mary knew from their early training that honesty and truthfulness were necessary parts of a Christ-like personality, yet they looked into their Guide Book which furnishes parents thoroughly in this work of personality development. They read, "A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight";¹ "He that hath clean hands and a pure heart: who hath not lifted up his soul unto falsehood nor sworn deceitfully";² "He that walketh righteously and speaketh uprightly, he that despiseth the gain of oppressions, that shaketh his hands from holding bribes, that stoppeth his ears from hearing of blood, that shutteth his eyes from looking upon evil. He shall dwell on high; his place of defense shall be the munitions of rocks; his bread shall be given him; his waters shall be sure";³ "Do not steal, do not bear false witness, defraud not";⁴ "But we have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the Word of God deceitfully, but by the manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God";⁵ "Study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; that ye may walk honestly toward them that are without and that you may have need of nothing."⁶ These are

¹Prov. 11:1.

²Psalm 24:4.

³lsa. 33:15, 16.

⁴Mark 10:19.

⁵2 Cor. 4:2.

⁶1 Thess. 4:11.

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enough to show that without these virtues a soul would not meet God's approval, a personality would not be like Christ.

6. Courage.

As John and Mary thought of their son and daughter they could not visualize them as cowards in any sense of the term; for they realized that fear will make success impossible in any field. Queen Elizabeth said, "Cowardice falters but danger is often overcome by those who nobly dare," and Shakespeare says, "I dare do all that I may `become a man'." Gordon says, "Stand for something and let humanity know what you stand for. Be sure you are right, then stand."

John and Mary said, "These are fine, but we will listen as God speaks; the words of men are insignificant in comparison." "The wicked flee when no man pursueth; but the righteous are bold as a lion";¹ "And thou, son of man, be not afraid of them neither be afraid of their words, though briars and thorns are with thee, and thou dost dwell among scorpions; be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, though they are a rebellious house";² "Watch ye, stand fast in the faith quit you like men, be strong";³ "God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."⁴ As these two earnest souls thought of the courage of the leaders of Israel who were approved of Jehovah, of their blessed Lord and his disciples, of the thousands of the early Christians who allowed their heads to be severed from their bodies rather than renounce their

¹Prov. 28:1.

²Ezek. 2:5.

³1 Cor. 16:13.

⁴2 Tim. 1:7.

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faith, they realized the utmost importance of courage in the Christian personality. It seemed they could hear the loving voice of Jesus as he said to his frightened disciples, "Be of good cheer; it is I, be not afraid."¹

John and Mary remembered too that the Messiah came into the world to conquer the forces of evil, that he was not only brave in defending the right but strong and vigorous in condemning evil. Twice during his ministry he cleansed the temple, God's house, drove those who were desecrating it out and overturned their equipment. The twenty-third chapter of Matthew does not recount the pronouncements of a negative personality but those of an aggressive foe to wickedness and sin wherever found. They remembered, too, Paul's description of the Christian armor, and that the Christian soldier was to bear a weapon, the sword of the spirit, the Word of God. They remembered how Stephen, the gifted, silver-tongued deacon of the Jerusalem church debated the divinity of Jesus with the libertines with such strength and courage that they could not answer, and so allowed their animal rage to rule and stoned him to death. So the Christ-like person must do all in his power to overcome the powers of evil that drag men's souls down to destruction. He must be aggressive as well as defensive.

7. Industry, Energy, Enthusiasm.

While these virtues are not identical they are akin and very necessary to each other and are so interwoven in the same passages of God's word, that John and Mary considered them together and remembered one

¹Mark 6:50.

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of God's first commands to man was to work, to dress and to keep their beautiful garden home. They understood that these virtues form the basis of consistent and persistent effort, that they constitute the inner building force of driving power that will keep one at a task, easy or difficult, small or great, pleasant or unpleasant, until it is completed. They found that the wise man says, "He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand, but the hand of the diligent maketh rich";¹ "Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings";² and "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness."³ They read that Jesus said, "My Father worketh even until now and I work";⁴ and again, "Work while it is day for the night cometh when no man can work."⁵ They noted how his days were full of work; how often he failed to stop to eat or sleep.

As John and Mary read Acts of the Apostles and the letters to the churches they found the lives of the Apostles filled with energetic, enthusiastic labor and urgent exhortation to others to labor. Paul did not stop though chained and in prison. He preached to all who came near him, wrote letters of doctrine, reproof, and correction, to churches and individuals directing their works. Only the headman's ax stopped his tongue and pen; and he still works in the lives of all who will read and study God's Word as revealed through him. And of these virtues we hear this great apostle say, "Neither did we eat bread for naught at any man's hand, but in labor and travail, working night and day, that we might not burden any of you: not because we

¹Prov. 10:4.

²Prov. 22:29.

³Prov. 31:27.

⁴John 5:17.

⁵John 9:4.

50 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

have not the right, but to make ourselves an ensample to you, For even when we were with you, this we commanded you. If any will not work, neither let him eat. "¹ And again, "In diligence not slothful; fervent in spirit serving the Lord."² Thus God teaches that fervor, enthusiasm, sets energy in motion; and energy moves us to continuous effort; it fires the mind soul, and body with a consuming passion for big things, great things, things that endure and bless mankind. John and Mary concluded that the Christ-like personality must be enthusiastic, energetic and industrious.

8. Economy, System, and Order.

Economy, the opposite of waste, should be applied to all uses of time, mental effort, physical strength, material things and money. System or order make possible this economy which is an evidence of a well-balanced sense of proportion. These virtues are the foundation of thrift, industry, and competence. They bring joy not sorrow, plenty instead of want, and they conquer worry, anxiety, and care.

God teaches us these virtues in the world about us. Jesus had the disciples seat the multitudes systematically in companies of equal numbers. He fed them out of the fullness of his power but had the fragments gathered that nothing be wasted. There is so much to do that it is sinful to waste time and strength. There is so much to learn that we should use our mental powers in the best way possible. There are so many who are suffering for necessities that it is wrong to waste money.

¹2 Thess. 3:8-10.

²Romans 12:11.

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9. Humility and Meekness

As John and Mary thought of the characteristics of a Christ-like personality they thought of humility and meekness. Christ said of himself, "I am meek and lowly in heart."¹ The first beatitude was to the poor in spirit;² and it is the meek who shall inherit the earth.³ Jesus said that humility is the way to true greatness. He who would humble himself would be greatest in the kingdom of heaven.⁴ And again, "He that is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be humbled, and whosoever shall humble himself shall be exalted."⁵ Humility does not imply slavishness or servility nor is it inconsistent with a right estimate of oneself or of self-assertion when necessary; but the humble soul realizes that all his natural gifts come from God; that he is the recipient of undeserved and redeeming love and that he with all his talents belongs to God. The humble mind and the contrite, meek, submissive spirit are at the root of all other graces or virtues. Self-exaltation spoils everything. "Love," said Paul, "vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up."⁶ God through Micah asked, "O man what is good and what doth Jehovah require of thee, but to do justly and love kindness and walk humbly with thy God?"⁷ Meekness is one of the fruits of the spirit and flows from humility. Christians are taught through all the epistles to cherish it and show it in their relations to each other.⁸

10. Joy.

As John and Mary thought about the people they had known during their short lives they realized that

¹Matt. 11:29.

²Matt. 5:3.

³Matt. 5:5.

⁴Matt. 18:4.

⁵Matt. 23:11, 12.

⁶1 Cor. 13:4.

⁷Micah 6:8.

⁸Eph. 4:2.

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the ones who presented to their minds the strongest evidence of faith and confidence were not the long-faced, grouchy, pious-appearing, individuals but those men and women whose lives were marked by a calm, joyful spirit. The sunshine, the song of the bird out the window, the pleasant breeze, a bright hued flower, a kind word or smile, the laughter or chatter of the little child, even the loud hurrahs of older boys brought smiles to their lips; and they passed the joy on to others. John and Mary turned to their Guide Book to see if the dear loving Father had placed this trait of character in his picture of the personality that would meet his approval. They found early in the history of God's dealing with the Israelites that through Moses he said, "Thou shalt rejoice before Jehovah thy God in all that thou puttest thy hands unto";¹ and later, "Glory, honor and majesty are in his presence; strength and gladness are in his place."² Through the Psalmist he said, "Let the righteous be glad, let them exult before God; yea let them rejoice with gladness."³ Many, many other passages they found from the same sweet singer. From the pen of the prophet Isaiah they read, "The redeemed of Jehovah shall return and come with singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy shall be upon their heads."⁴

John and Mary remembered too the song of the angels when Christ the Lord was born, "Joy to the world the Lord is come."⁵ They remembered that Jesus had told his disciples to "rejoice"--"to leap for joy for behold great is your reward in heaven."⁶ He told them certain things, "that my joy may remain in

¹Deut. 12:18.

²1 Chron. 16:27.

³Psalm 68:3.

⁴Isa. 58:11.

⁵Luke 2.

⁶Luke 6:23.

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you, and that your joy may be made full."¹ They learned of the early Christians, "The disciples were filled with joy."² They read of Paul and Silas singing in prison at midnight and later of the jailer "rejoicing" with all his house because they had learned the way of salvation.³ Over and over they read the admonition of Paul to the different churches to rejoice. "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice."⁴ So they were more deeply impressed than ever before that God would have his children's lives full of joy, wrought by faith and confidence in his love and his promises, ever realizing that, "every good and perfect gift cometh from above";⁵ and that, "All things work together for good to those who love the Lord."⁶

As John and Mary studied these virtues, purity, gratitude, abhorrence of evil, love of all that is good, obedience, honesty, truthfulness, courage, enthusiasm, energy and industry; they felt that the Christ-like personality is crowned with the virtues humility, meekness, and joy. Again the words of the Master came to them, "I am meek and lowly in heart," and the final welcome, "enter into the joy of the Lord," thrilled their hearts.

III. Knowledge

John and Mary turned again to the complete picture, given through Peter, of Christian personality and there read that knowledge--knowledge of God, of Jesus and of life must fill the life of the Christ-like person. They found that God commanded the Hebrew parents to teach their children about him from the book of nature as they walked by the way. When they sat down

¹1 John 15:11.

²Acts 13:52.

³Acts 16:25-34.

⁴Phil. 4:4.

⁵Jas. 1:7.

⁶Rom. 8:29.

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to eat and when they rose up they were to teach the children about him, his love and his laws. They were to write his law on their door and gate posts. They were to erect monuments that would provoke the children of future generations to ask questions. They were given memorial feasts to impress facts of history on the minds, and to cause each generation to know God in his kindness, love and mercy. They learned that God had a record written of his dealing with mankind, the experiences through which they passed, that men of all ages might know him and know life. John and Mary read from the pen of the wise man, "The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of knowledge; but fools despise wisdom and instruction";¹ "For that they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord";² "Receive my instruction and not silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold";³ "The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge."⁴ And from Hosea the prophet they read, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee that thou shalt be no priest to me; seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I also will forget thy children."⁵ They remembered that the Bible, God's revelation to man, opens with, "In the beginning God,"⁶ and that the sweet singer of Israel says, "The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament showeth his handiwork. Day unto day uttereth speech, night unto night showeth knowledge,"⁷ and also "When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast or-

¹Prov. 1:7.

²Prov. 1:29.

³Prov. 8:10.

⁴Prov. 18:15.

⁵Hos. 4:6.

⁶Gen. 1:1.

⁷Psalm 19:1, 2.

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dained."¹ They heard Jehovah say, "I am God and beside me there is none else."² John and Mary knew that the universe is a unit, that there is only room for one mind, one designer. The voice of every kingdom of nature speaks the same truth, one God and only one.

As Mary and John thought of their courses of study in college they remembered that astronomy says one God and only one, botany revealed one God and only one, geology, the science which deals with the earth, with its rocks, its minerals, oils, water, gases, etc., says one God and only one, that physiology, the study of the human body with all its wonders of eye, ear, hand and foot, digestive organs, etc., speaks again of a designer far above any man, one God and only one. Psychology, biology, history, and Scripture all proclaim the irrefutable fact of one God and only one. They were made to realize the importance of this knowledge their parents had been so anxious for them to possess and were grateful for the sacrifice these parents had made that they might obtain it.

As John and Mary saw Jesus point to the birds and the flowers, showing to his disciples the care of an all-wise, all-powerful, and all-good God who is over all, this beautiful poem by Thomas Curtis Clark came to their minds,

"God is not far from any one of us
The wild flower by the wayside speaks of his love,
Each singing bird bears tidings from above;
Sunshine and shower his tender mercies prove
And men know not his voice!

"God is not far away from any one of us.
He speaks to us in every glad sunrise;
His glory floods us from the noonday skies;

¹Psalm 8:3.

²Isa. 46:9.

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The stars declare his love when daylight dies
And men know not his voice!

"God Is not far from any one of us
He watches o'er the children day and night;
On every darkened soul he sheds his light;
Each burdened heart he cheers, and lends his might
To all who know his voice!"

John and Mary learned that God sent his Son into the world that the human family might see, might know, and might understand God, the creator, the upholder and the preserver of all. They read from Paul, "I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and do count them but refuse, that I may win Christ."¹ They remembered that the creator said, it is not in man to direct his steps.² They were grateful that, since knowledge is so absolutely necessary in the development of Christian personality, God has provided this knowledge bountifully, and that he has made it possible for all to obtain it. They realized that if they were to meet their responsibility as parents Jack and Jill must be led into a proper appreciation and love of knowledge.

IV. Self-Control.

As our young parents continued their study they found that self-control is the next trait of character mentioned in the divine picture. Instantly both minds recalled the scripture, "He that ruleth his spirit is better than he that taketh a city."³ And the words of Milton no doubt provoked by this same scripture came

¹Phil. 3:8.

²Jer. 10:23.

³Prov. 16:32.

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to them, "He who reigns within himself, and rules passions, desires, and fears is more than king."

1. Independence and Stability

In the creation of man, a "free moral agent," capable of controlling his conduct by choice, and in placing before him good and evil; God has shown us that it is his will that men grow into self-controlled creatures. In all his dealings with his chosen people we find him leading them through experiences that will develop this grace. He gave them laws to obey, customs to observe, sacrifices to make, and religious feasts to keep. He helped them to understand the first and second great commandments, love for God and love for man, by giving them detailed laws by which they would learn to control the desires of the flesh and to establish right habits of action. We see independence and decision in Joshua's challenge to the Israelites, "Choose you this day whom you will serve ... as for me and my house we will serve Jehovah."¹ Again we hear the prophet Elijah, as on Mount Carmel, he demanded choice, decision, of the surrounding mass of Israelites, "How long go ye limping between the two sides, if Jehovah be God, follow him, but if Baal, follow him."²

Today we are confronted with the necessity for this same decision. We make it over and over every day. Jesus said, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness."³ When we read or hear this passage we usually think of the first, the kingdom, but fail to note that we are to seek, to choose, God's righteous-

¹Josh. 24:15.

²1 Kings 18:21.

³Matt. 6:33.

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ness. We are to control ourselves so that we will walk in his way.

We see wonderful examples of self-control in Abraham and in Moses but the greatest in our Lord Jesus Christ as he with perfect poise and independence answered every temptation of the devil, met the opposition of the religious leaders of that day, stood silent before the fake accusers, the chief priests and Roman governors, and allowed the soldiers and the mob to him. Paul, the successful follower of our Lord, a Christ-like personality, is a wonderful example of self-control. He turned his back on position, honor, and wealth and made the choice of the kingdom of God and his righteousness. He showed quick decision and discretion when before the Sanhedrin. He turned attention to their quarrel between themselves so that the Pharisees took his part. Before Festus, Felix, and Agrippa he exhibited perfect poise and self-control, preaching to them for their good instead of seeking his own release from prison.

As John and Mary thought of this control or rule of self they realized that the Christ-like personality must be independent "not tossed about by every wind of doctrine"¹ or by circumstance, to do or say things contrary to his convictions. He must be able to control the desires and appetites of the body, and not only re-train the tongue from the angry word and the hand when provoked to strike, but the thoughts, the feelings, must be under control also. They remembered that the Holy Spirit through Paul says, "whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are lovely, if there be any

¹Eph. 4:14.

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virtue, if there be any praise think on these things."¹ They realized that the continued practice of this control of passions, desires, and fears will result in right habits so the individual will not be constantly in fear of doing wrong; his personality will be marked by decision, self-reliance, stability, and discretion; he will have on the "Breastplate of righteousness." Self-control in emergencies results from self-control in life's little things. Those who fuss about food will lose their heads when a crisis comes. The life mastered by the Master will meet life's crises with calmness and strength.

2. Penitence

No personality reaches perfection in this life; and sometimes wrong will be done. John and Mary remembered the words of Jesus, "Blessed are they that mourn."² Those who are penitent for sin, those whose hearts are torn with sorrow over disobedience to the loving Father. These are those who think of things true, honorable, just, pure, and lovely. "As a man purposeth in his heart,"³ as a man's will controls all his actions, so will he give the devotion of his life and grow into the likeness of our blessed Lord who had perfect poise, perfect control of himself under every condition.

V. Patience

As Mary and John thought of patience, the next trait of character that God has prescribed for the personality that is Christ-like, they thought of it first with reference to conditions. They reasoned that

¹Phil. 4:8.

²Matt. 5:4.

³2 Cor. 9:7.

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patience is not just a sullen endurance, nor satisfaction that nothing can be done to better their condition, but that it is that contentment of heart that comes from faith and confidence in the heavenly Father; that does not fret and worry. They remembered how their Guide Book says. "All things work together for good to those who love the Lord."¹

1. Perseverance

John and Mary thought of patience in effort as perseverance, that wonderful power that does not grow discouraged but that works on and on and on. They remembered an old teacher who said "Perseverance and a pick ax will bring down a mountain." They remembered David saying, "Rest in Jehovah and wait patiently for him; fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. For evildoers shall be cut off but those that wait upon Jehovah they shall inherit the land."²

2. Cheerfulness

The wise man says, "He that is of a cheerful heart hath a continual feast,"³ and, "Let thy garments be always white; and let not thy head lack ointment. Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life,"⁴ and also, "The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit."⁵ John and Mary thought of John the Baptist as he told the soldiers to be content with their wages as an evidence of true penitence. They thought of Jesus as he walked, taught, and healed among the ignorant and sinful, always patient

¹Rom. 8:28.

²Psalm 37:7, 9.

³Prov. 15:15.

⁴Eccl. 9:8.

⁵Eccl. 7:8.

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with them, but filled with indignation when in contact with proud, haughty pretenders to righteousness. They found that God through Paul says, "Let each man abide in that calling wherein he was called. Wast thou called being a bond servant? Care not for it: but if thou canst become free use it rather!"¹ Also they read "Godliness with contentment is great gain. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content."² Again they heard that good Christian say, "be not weary in well doing for in due season we shall reap if we faint not."³ They found him also telling souls that were striving to become like Christ, "The servant of the Lord must not strive but be gentle toward all, apt to teach, patient. In meekness correcting those that oppose themselves."⁴ In many other passages his exhortations to patience are full and complete. All of these John and Mary read and carefully pondered.

3. Calmness

The picture of Jesus in his calm, patient endurance of the indignities heaped upon him, and his statements of content and victory, "It is finished,"⁵ and, "Father into thy hands I commend my spirit"⁶ filled these young parents with reverence and awe as one of the most beautiful parts in this picture of Christ like personality as it grew before them.

VI. Godliness

As John and Mary turned their minds to a study of the next element, they asked themselves, "What are the attributes of God that he would have us imitate in order that our personalities may be God-like; and

¹1 Cor. 7:21.

²1 Tim. 6:6.

³Gal. 6:9.

⁴2 Tim. 2:24, 25.

⁵John 19:30.

⁶Luke 23:46.

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that we may build into the personalities of these children he has committed to our care?" They thought of holiness, justice, mercy, faithfulness, forgiveness, and peacemaking.

1. Holiness

In their guide book they found God saying to the Israelites, his chosen people, "Ye shall be holy unto me; for I Jehovah am holy and have set you apart from the peoples that you should be mine."¹ Through the Psalmist they heard him say, "Stand in awe, and sin not,"² and again, "Who shall ascend into the hill of Jehovah? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart: who hath not lifted up his soul into falsehood nor sworn deceitfully,"³ and also "Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity and in whose spirit there is no guile."⁴ They heard Jesus in the sermon on the Mount say, "Be ye therefore perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect."⁵ And as he led his disciples from place to place John and Mary read as over and ever he impressed them with the purity of the life he would have them lead by contrasting it with the greed, selfishness, and corruption of the leaders of the people. All through the letters of Paul, Peter, James, and John they found the fundamental truth that Christians are to be holy, pure, and good. They read, "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple you are."⁶

¹Lev. 21:26.

²Psalm 4:4.

³Psalm 24:3, 4.

⁴Psalm 32:2.

⁵Matt. 5:48.

⁶1 Cor. 3:16, 17.

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2. Justice

John and Mary thought of the justice of God. They read from Samuel, "The Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed."¹ From the Psalms they read, "The judgments of Jehovah are true and righteous altogether,"² and "He loveth righteousness and justice."³ From Proverbs they gleaned, "The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold; but Jehovah trieth the hearts,"⁴ and, "To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to Jehovah than sacrifice."⁵ From Jesus and the Apostles they learned that those who would be God-like must "judge righteous judgment."⁶ Christ-like personalities must be fair and honest in their dealing with others.

3. Mercy and Forgiveness

As John and Mary read God's Book, they learned that as God is merciful so must Christ-like personalities be merciful, not satisfied to treat justly those who do them wrong, but that they must go further and be forgiving and merciful. They remembered the Lord as he said, "If ye forgive not men their trespasses neither will your heavenly father forgive you,"⁷ and "Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy."⁸ They added mercy and forgiveness to their picture of the Christ-like personality.

4. Faithfulness

John and Mary thought of the faithfulness of God to those who serve him; and recalled, "Know therefore that Jehovah thy God, he is God, the faithful God, who keepeth covenant and loving kindness with

¹1 Sam. 2:3.

²Psalm 19:9.

³Psalm 33:5.

⁴Prov. 17:3.

⁵Prov. 21:3.

⁶John 7:24.

⁷Matt. 6:15.

⁸Matt. 5:7.

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them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations."¹ And they remembered, "God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and right is he."² From the Psalmist they read, "He will ever be mindful of his covenant."³ They heard Paul say, "God is faithful by whom ye were called into the fellowship of his Son, Christ Jesus our Lord."⁴ And from John they read, "If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins."⁵ They heard the sweet song of the angels in heaven, "Great and marvelous are thy ways, O Lord God, the Almighty; just, righteous and true are thy ways thou king of the ages."⁶ So to be God-like one must be faithful to every promise, every responsibility. John and Mary remembered the parables of Jesus, teaching faithfulness, the rewards promised the faithful; and they read the final promise in Revelation: "Be thou faithful unto death and I will give thee the crown of life."⁷ They were impressed that the Christ-like personality must be faithful.

5. Peacemaking

John and Mary remembered too the blessing Christ pronounced on peacemakers, saying, they should be called sons of God.⁸ As children are like the parents so those who make peace are God-like. They thought of Jesus who is called the Prince of Peace, at whose birth the angels sang, "Peace and good will to men"⁹-So they reasoned that to build godliness into the personality, they must build holiness, purity, justness, forgiveness, mercy, faithfulness and peace-making into

¹Deut. 7:9.

²Deut. 32:4.

³Psalm 111:5.

⁴1 Cor. 1:9.

⁵1 John 1:9.

⁶Rev. 15:3.

⁷Rev. 2:10.

⁸Matt. 5:9.

⁹Luke 2:14.

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it. They were happy that the life of Jesus makes it so plain and easy to understand; for in order to lead Jack and Jill aright they must know the revealed picture of Christ-like personality.

VII. Brotherly kindness

As John and Mary turned their minds to the consideration of the next element of character in their God-given picture they found God's exhortations to man to be kind were based on the fact that each is a human being, a creature of God, on the same level; and that there should be a fellow-feeling for each other. They remembered that God, through Moses, said to his chosen people, "The stranger that sojourneth with you shall be unto you as the home-born, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for we were sojourners in the land of Egypt."¹ They found that Jesus gave the parable of the good Samaritan, and that Paul wrote to strong Christians, "If a man be overtaken in a fault * * * restore such a one in the spirit of meekness considering thyself lest thou also be tempted."² They learned that one must always think of the good of others, be tactful and thoughtful of the feelings of others. They read, "That which maketh a man to be desired is his kindness,"³ and that the ideal woman's tongue was governed by "the law of kindness."⁴ Again they found, "In all things I gave you an example how that so laboring ye ought to help the weak and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, * * * It is more blessed to give than to receive."⁵ They read also, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep,"⁶ and, "Bear ye one another's burdens and

¹Lev. 19:34.

²Gal. 6:1.

³Prov. 19:22.

⁴Prov. 31:26.

⁵Acts 20:35.

⁶Rom. 12:15.

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so fulfill the law of Christ."¹ From the Psalmist they heard, "Well it is with the man that dealeth graciously,² and from Peter, "As brethren be tender hearted, be courteous."³

So Mary and John thought of the Christ-like personality as one filled with the spirit of brotherhood, as unselfish, thoughtful of the needs and the feelings of others, ready to help; sympathetic, courteous and gracious, and the picture of Jesus came to their minds as he said, "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest."⁴

VIII. Love

As John and Mary came to the study of the last, the most beautiful and most indispensable trait of Christ-like personality, the first and greatest commandment immediately came to their minds, the command to love, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul and with all thy mind."⁵ The 'creature was commanded to love the creator with all the devotion of body, mind, and soul. They remembered that Jesus placed this command first and said the second is like unto it, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."⁶

1. Generosity

As John and Mary thought of love they thought of generosity. The one who loves gives, cheerfully, gladly and generously, of thought, time, and earthly possessions. They remembered, "God is love"⁷ and, God so loved * * * that he gave his only son,"⁸ and

¹Gal. 6:2.

²Psalm 112:5.

³1 Peter 3:8.

⁴Matt. 11:28.

⁵Deut. 6:5.

⁶Matt. 22:37-39.

⁷John 4:16.

⁸John 3:16.

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also, "Greater love path no man than this that he lay down (give) his life for his friend."¹ And of Jesus' love they read, while we were yet sinners he gave his life for us.²

2. Gentleness, Tenderness, Affection

John and Mary remembered how gentle, compassionate, tender-hearted, and affectionate the Christ was as he lived among men. He called them, "little children,"³ was gentle in reproof. He was filled with compassion as he passed the funeral procession of the son of the widow of Nain.⁴ He wept with Mary and Martha as he went with them to the tomb of their brother;⁵ and while the soldiers nailed him to the cross, he prayed, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."⁶

3. Sacrifice and Loyalty

John and Mary also thought, "Love sacrifices, is loyal and missionary in its effect on the personality." They remembered the sacrificial love of their own parents, the preachers of the gospel, and other faithful Christians who loved the souls of men. Real love for God and Christ, for truth, and even for others, especially those of God's family, will result in loyalty to them, that will lead one to trust them and to work for their good in every way. They read and reread Paul's beautiful hymn of love which tells of its necessity, its nature and its permanence.⁷ The church at Corinth was troubled with envy, jealousy, and egotism. Those who were endowed with spiritual gifts each thought

¹John 15:13.

²Rom 5:8.

³John 18:33.

⁴Luke 7:12-150.

⁵John 11:33-36.

⁶Luke 23:34.

⁷1 Cor. 13.

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his gift better or more important than the others. Paul told them of something better than these gifts and that better something is love. He told them that without love the ability to speak in all the languages of men and even that of the angels was as a harsh unpleasant noise, that supernatural knowledge and faith without love will not accomplish anything, and that the sacrifice of earthly posse3sions and even of life itself from any other motive than that of love will not be of any profit; so love is indispensable if life is to be of any value. Without it all the relations of life are imperfect, all effort heartless and vain. Without love there is no abundant life.

John and Mary found Paul going on to show the nature of love. In fifteen beautiful phrases he shows the operation of a principle that is able to transform all human life.

"Love suffereth long, and is kind. It causes one to be patient in enduring evil, and active in conferring good. People can be exceedingly provoking, irritating and injurious, but the person governed by love can overlook the little petty, mean treatment or the real unjust deeds or foul slander and still be kind, able to do them good.

"Love envieth not." Love is generous, so is happy in the success of others; rejoices with those who rejoice. There are more who can weep with the sorrowful than of those who can rejoice with the successful and happy.

"Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up." Love is humble, not boastful, not anxious to appear to better advantage. As Mary and John thought on this phrase they remembered, "In honor preferring one another,"

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and "Each looking not on his own things but on the things of others."

"Love doth not behave itself unseemly." It is the source of true courtesy, the essence of the art of politeness. Sometimes people are impolite from ignorance but more often it comes from a lack of loving thoughtfulness for the feelings and comforts of others.

"Love seeketh not its own." It excels in unselfishness, does not insist on or demand its rights. The one governed by this principle refrains from demanding precedence, applause, or even the consideration which could rightly be expected. He works on and on for the good of the individual or the cause loved.

"Love is not provoked." It is good natured, not looking for or expecting ill treatment. It does not allow things to irritate the temper and so mar an otherwise noble soul.

"Love taketh not account of evil." It does not store up the memory of the wrongs and sins of others. Love is able to forgive and also to forget the mistakes and evil deeds of its fellows when they turn from them.

"Love rejoiceth not in unrighteousness." It is never glad when others go wrong, but is filled with sorrow when a rival is found morally weak. Love is not eager to spread an evil report but endeavors to keep it as quiet as possible, and to get the reported wrong righted.

"Love rejoiceth with the truth." When truth prevails, love is happy. Love rejoices when suspicions are proved unfounded or an evil report untrue, when wrong is conquered and right prevails.

"Love beareth all things." It is ready always to find an excuse for those who are unkind or unjust. It throws the mantle of charity over the misunderstand-

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ings of others toward it. It bears its wrongs with patience and kindness. It is always ready to forgive.

"Love believeth all things." It continues to trust, to be loyal to a brother who is under suspicion. This confidence helps people to hold to the right and often discloses even in wicked people unsuspected qualities of goodness. And even when all is dark and one must cease trusting, and the worst has come, love looks for reformation, for recovery. It believes the one loved will in some way at some time come to do right.

"Love hopeth all things." Someone has truthfully said hope is the anchor to the soul. Faith is the foundation and hope keeps the heart looking forward to a better day, to better things. It makes the burden lighter, brings the joy of anticipation into the heart and sheds abroad to those around the love that prompts it.

"Love endureth all things." It endures with patience even in days, months, and long, long years when it seems useless to hope. Love doesn't grow weary, but holds fast, hoping still. It bravely perseveres and endures with courage. Under its control the humblest life becomes a radiant source of help and strength. Love brought Christ to earth to endure suffering and death for his enemies. It will bring men and women who become like him to suffer and endure for each other and for others.

"Love never faileth." It is permanent. Paul goes on to tell these Corinthians so puffed up over the blessings God had given to them, that these supernatural gifts, knowledge, prophecies, tongues, etc., should pass away when the "more excellent way" is established and "that which is perfect is come." He illustrates by speaking of the early days of the church as childhood.

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Paul says the three cardinal graces, faith, hope, and love, will remain and that the greatest of these is love. Love is rightly called the greatest thing in the world, and Paul tells us it is the greatest and most glorious thing in heaven.

Love in the spiritual being is like the blood stream in our physical bodies, in warm continuous pulsation, it carries life and energy to every virtue, nourishment to each growing part, and kindly healing to every wound. The Christ-like personality, the love-filled soul, will sing at the close of its pilgrimage

"O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee:
I give thee back the life I owe.
That in thine ocean depths
Its flow may richer, fuller be."

As John and Mary completed this study, the picture of the personality grown into the likeness of God's own Son stood before them in all its beauty and perfection. They made out a chart. John prepared it in beautiful lettering. They framed it and hung it where it would be ever before them, a constant reminder to help them in their own growth and in the guidance of their son and daughter. As they looked into the faces of their precious, innocent children with united hearts they prayed to the Father, "Guide us, help us, dear loving Father, in the great task thou hast given us."

CHRIST-LIKE PERSONALITY
2 Peter 1:3-7.

FAITH

72 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

VIRTUE

KNOWLEDGE

SELF-CONTROL

PATIENCE

GODLINESS

BROTHERLY KINDNESS

LOVE FOR GOD AND MAN

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And even when he is old he
Will not depart from it" (Prov. 22:6).

"Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4).

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QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER FOUR

1. What is James Gordon's definition of personality?
2. Of what does Christian personality partake? Give the quotation.
3. In whose image is it recreated?
4. What does Christ-like personality include? Give the proof from the scripture for each part of this personality.
5. On what promises did our young parents base their confidence as they searched God's word for guidance?
6. What did they find to be the cause of the separation of the human family from God, and of the loss of his image?
7. How then are men to be brought back to God? How are they to grow into the image of Christ?
8. What is the foundation?
9. What is faith? Give the beautiful quotations with reference to faith.
10. Who are examples of faith?
11. Where do we find a picture of the personality that will escape the corruption that is in the world and become a partaker of the divine nature?
12. Name the traits of character that Peter says must be built on faith.
13. Study the chart and learn the traits of character covered by these general statements.
14. What does the term heart, as used in the Bible include? Show how purity is necessary in the thoughts, motives, purposes and emotions.
15. Give the teaching of God's word on gratitude.
16. Why is one's attitude towards good and evil important in becoming Christ-like? How strong should be our desire to do right?
17. What does God through different writers say of the importance of obedience?
18. What do we find in the Guide Book that teaches a person must be honest and truthful if he meets God's approval?
19. Why is courage an important attribute of character? Give the statement of God's word relative to it, and also examples of courage from both Old and New Testaments.

74 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

20. Which virtues are akin and are interwoven in the same passages of God's word?
21. Give the reasons why they are necessary to Christian personality.
22. How are Christ and his Apostles examples of these traits of character?
23. To what should economy be applied?
24. How will system and order make economy possible?
25. How are these the foundation of thrift and competence?
26. How does God teach us these virtues?
27. What did Christ say with reference to humility and meekness?
28. Define humility and meekness.
29. Why is joy a crowning virtue?
30. How did God provide that Hebrew children should have knowledge of him and of the life of their ancestors under his guidance?
31. What is said by the wise man with reference to knowledge?
32. How does the Bible open its revelation to man? Give the passage in proof of one true and living God.
33. Name the sciences which proclaim the irrefutable fact of one God and only one.
34. Why did God send Jesus into the world?
35. How valuable did Paul consider the knowledge Christ Jesus?
36. What does God say of self-control? Give the same in the words of Milton.
37. How has God shown us it is his desire that men should be self-controlled creatures?
38. How did he develop this grace in the Israelites?
39. Which of the leaders demanded independence and stability of the Israelites?
40. How does Jesus challenge us to develop the same?
41. Who is our perfect example in this as well as all other graces?
42. What will result from continued control of passions, desires, fears?

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43. How will the life mastered by the Master meet life's crises?
44. Why is patience necessary in Christian personality?
45. What is patience? What is perseverance? How are cheerfulness, calmness and contentment evidences of patience?
46. Show how Jesus was an example.
47. Name the attributes of God that the personality must develop that will be God-like.
48. Discuss each and look up the passages with reference to each.
49. Which of the attributes are most difficult to develop?
50. How does God through Moses, through Jesus, Paul and Peter teach the necessity of brotherly kindness?
51. Name the different traits which manifest brotherly kindness.
52. Which is the most beautiful, the most indispensable grace of the Christ-like personality?
53. How do all the law and the prophets hang on the first and second commandment?
54. Name the traits that prove that love has its place in the soul.
55. What did Paul tell the Corinthians was better than the power to work miracles?
56. Give his exegesis of love.
57. What brought Christ to the earth?
58. What will this same trait cause Christ-like personalities to do?
59. What are the permanent graces mentioned by Paul?
60. How may the chart of John and Mary be made useful in a home, class room or library reading room?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER IV

The Bible.
The Church and the Ideal Educational Situation by Sewell and Speck. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.

CHAPTER FIVE
EARLY CHILDHOOD

By this term we mean the life of the child from birth to the age of six.

These are the most important years of a human being's life. They are the health-building years and the years in which the foundation of character is laid. These are the years in which the physical, mental, moral, and spiritual life are largely determined.

John and Mary knew that a strong, healthy body makes possible the growth of a healthy, happy soul, a soul that will be able to live a life of joyous service to those about and to God. They knew too, how difficult it is to develop into a gracious lovable nature when one has to live in a pain-wracked body, hampered continually by weakness.

I have referred in the chapter on parenthood to statements from the writings of Edward Littleton, Horace Bushnell, and Luther Weigle on the importance of these years in character building. I hope you will turn back and read those quotations; for these men have given much thought and study to this subject.

Our young parents had been very busy during the year preceding the arrival of their babies. They had secured the best information available on the physical care of children. They learned that marvelous progress had been made in this science, that the death rate

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among babies was much lower than in former years, and that many children passed through these ear: without sickness of any kind and were full of strength and vigor all the time.

They agreed that they should listen politely to advice from old people who were set against any change from the way they fed and reared their children: but that Jack and Jill should have the benefit of all the knowledge that they themselves had gained.

They knew that the requisites were the right kind of food, prepared in the right way, given in the right quantity, at regular intervals; fresh, clean air; sunlight; and all the quiet, peaceful, sleep possible.

They noticed that there was a larger percentage of deaths among babies in nursing homes where every physical and sanitary need is supplied than among babies in families of ordinary means, and concluded that the watchful, tender, care of a loving mother was of vast importance to the life and health of children. The handling and fondling of a baby gives it exercise and rests its body from lying too constantly in its bed. The comforting effect of being held close in tender, loving arms is easily seen. Mary knew from experience and observation that it "takes a heap of loving" in a life to grow a healthy, happy personality; so she resolved that her babies should feel love from the day of their birth, and as their different senses came alive, love should send its comfort and assurance to the awakening souls. As the beautiful eyes opened to the world about them, love should beam from the faces near, and their ears should not only be shielded from harsh noises and sudden jars but they should hear only kind, gentle words and tones. This, with the regular, consistent attention to their food and comfort, attending

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to their needs in the same way at the same time every day, would lay the foundation of faith or confidence and trust which they had learned is the only foundation on which God has said that Christian personality can be built.

The congregation of which John and Mary were faithful members had a class in parent-training in their Bible school.

The elders knew that Jehovah God has bound upon his children duties to be performed, responsibilities to be borne, opportunities to be enjoyed, and privileges to be appreciated, in order that all, parents and children, brothers and sisters, neighbors and friends may grow into Christ-like personalities and that they may do the work that Jesus our Lord left for us to do.

They believed too, that God has provided that each individual shall be prepared, trained for the duty, the responsibility, the opportunity, and the privilege. Jesus spent three and one-half years training the disciples. Through Paul we hear him speaking: "Every scripture inspired of God is also profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction which is in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, furnished completely unto every good work."¹

Rearing children, molding them into the image of God's Son, is the greatest work, the best work, that parents are to do in this world. We read, "It is not in man that walketh to direct his steps;"² so we cannot depend on our own wisdom. Again, the Psalmist says, "Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my pathway."³ We hear Solomon as he says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old

¹2 Tim. 3:16, 17.

²Jer. 10:23.

³Psalm 119:105.

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he will not depart from it."¹ So the important thing is to study to be sure that we know: first, the way he should go, and, second, how to train him. Too often we hear even Christians say it isn't any use to try. "Look at brother so-and-so's children. They are good people but look at their children."

When we consider these children we think too of Eli and Samuel, good servants of God, whose sons were very wicked. But if we read God's record, we will find the cause. It was lack of attention to these children in the formative years. They were not brought up in the way they should go, not grounded in faith and reverence, honesty, and unselfishness. They were not restrained, corrected, reproved and instructed in the right way--the way of love and service to others. God's Word is true. If rightly trained they will not depart from it. The failure is in the training.

God says through Paul that the older women in the church are to teach, to train, the younger women to love their husbands and to love their children, to guide the house, the family. Love is the foundation of all successful child-training; not pride in possession, not pride in the glory they bring to us as parents, not just the feeling of affection that cannot see in the future the real good of the child. Parents who have this understanding of love fail to withhold from the child present gratification, fail to restrain, reprove, correct and instruct tenderly and patiently, yet firmly. The expression "guide the family," and the one in Proverbs, "She looketh well to the ways of her household," reveal the true course to our minds. Again, Paul, writing to Christian parents in Ephesus, says, "And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath but nur-

¹Psalm 22:6.

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ture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4).

Parents must make a careful study of child nature order to know how to develop the child's disposition, how to reprove, correct, and instruct without arousing resentment or anger, how to nurture within all the traits of sturdy, Christian manhood and womanhood, and all the tender graces that beautify and ennoble the personality. This cannot be done without training, so God commands older women, who have had experience and have succeeded with their children, and who by reason of study are apt to teach, to give this training. In the physical and mental development of our children we profit by a study of the experience of those who have lived. There is much that can he learned from the experience of others.

While every child is different and must have individual study, every child also goes through distinct stages of development. A knowledge of these stages, the possibilities of each stage, together with a study of methods, will help much in bringing the personality of the child to perfection just as the farmer's knowledge of seed, soil, time and method of planting, cultivation, and harvesting determine the success of his crop.

We may with money buy the labor of others in providing the food, clothing, and shelter for ourselves and our children, but the nurture of a personality can only be given by those in whose hearts there is a deep love for the individual child. Love begets love so that the foundations of faith, confidence, and trust may be built in the heart; that fear may not begin its dwarfing work; but the virtues may be added, knowledge imparted, self-control secured, patience cultivated, godliness implanted, brotherly-kindness developed, and love

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for God and man may be attained. The person who has been thus trained will not "walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the way of sinners. He will be like a tree planted by the streams of water that bringeth forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also doth not wither, and whatsoever he doeth will prosper."¹

In this age every craftsman, every salesman, every merchant, and every mechanic must have special training. The doctor, lawyer, and teacher must spend years preparing for the tasks of caring for the physical, mental, and governmental well-being of the human family. How much more important is the training of the parents into whose hands precious never-dying souls are placed!

We should not be willing to risk an experimental method. The cost is too great. We must study God's Word, child-nature and nurture; and constantly ask God's help and guidance. I once heard a good man say that one night in his childhood he arose from his bed to get a drink, and saw in the moonlight his mother out in the yard on her knees praying. As there was no illness or special worry in the family at the time, he wondered; and listening he heard this good mother pouring out her soul in petitions for help in her task of motherhood. He heard her mention his name and the special help she needed with him. As I think of those sons and daughters today--not great in a worldly sense, but good men and women rendering faithful and valuable service in God's kingdom--I see the answer to her prayer.

John and Mary had been grateful for the provision for their training in the church and had taken the

¹Psalm 1.

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course of study. In order to do everything possible for the children during this period of childhood, Mary took her notebooks from the shelves and studied again the subject of atmosphere.

I. Atmosphere of the Home

The parents, or those who care for children, create this element by all that they do and say, not so much by their planned conduct for the purpose of influencing the little ones, but more by their conduct, conversation, and feeling in the normal everyday life. Horace Bushnell uses a number of figures of speech to express the fact that the character of the parents tends to reproduce itself in the character of the child. He speaks not only of "atmosphere," but of contagion," of the "odor of the house," and finally of "family seeds planted in his nature."¹

"The home atmosphere works through three innate tendencies of the human mind--sympathy, the tendency to feel as others feel; suggestion, the tendency to think as others think; and imitation, the tendency to do as others do."²

1. Sympathy.

This innate tendency to feel with others is not only God-given, but its cultivation is commanded; "Rejoice with those who do rejoice, and weep with those who weep."³ We too often fail to realize the duty to feel with others in their joys as well as their sorrows. The little child can feel the spirit and emotion of others much more readily than it can understand the spoken word.. A smile will bring a smile, cross tones and

¹"Christian Nurture," 1916 edition, pp. 76-78.

²"An Introduction to Psychology," McDougal, p. 92.

³Rom. 12:15.

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nervousness will bring irritability and rebellion. Happiness begets happiness and fear begets fear.

2. Suggestion.

Children are especially susceptible to suggestion. They think as others think; first, because the world is new to them, they are full of eager interest and curiosity in everything. Through looking, listening, and touching they are absorbing the world about them. Second, because they have no knowledge to guide them in accepting or rejecting the suggestions of their home life. They accept the bad as quickly as the good. Third, because parents upon whose love and care they are dependent are large and strong and they look upon them as all-wise.

3. Imitation

All of us tend to act as others act. We learn to do things much more quickly if we see others do them. Little children imitate the words, tones, and actions of those about them.

4. Intelligence.

To those natural tendencies we must add intelligence. The child soon begins to think but the materials out of which he shapes his thoughts and ideas of life are furnished him by the behavior of those about him and what he can sense of their motives. Dr. Edward Littleton in his book, "The Corner Stone of Education," says, "The child grows to be that which his view of life tells him to be; and he must form that view on his parents' sayings and doings.....If we bring before his eyes a picture of lives lived in discord with the ideal which we try to teach him, he

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rationally infers that he is brought into the world of chaos." The words, actions, spirit, and attitude of the family must be consistent, gentle, kind, positive and happy if the atmosphere is creative toward abundant life.

Social Tendency

Children are social beings. The baby soon senses the presence of other human beings and is happier when others are near. They soon respond to approval or disapproval. They enjoy helping more than being helped so the virtue of cooperation is developed. The parents must know and be interested in the play life, and the school life as well as the home life.

The parents must be consistent. Teaching and example must not conflict. We must not worry and hurry, fume, and fret, if we wish our children to have faith and trust in an all-wise Father. We must not grumble and give grudgingly of time, love and money if we wish our children to know it is more blessed to give than to receive. We must eat frugal fare, wear poor clothing, and live in poor quarters if need require, without fault-finding and complaint, but with gratitude and cheerfulness, if we do not wish our children to believe that happiness comes from possessions and the gratification of the flesh. We must make God and his righteousness first in everything if we would create an atmosphere conducive to the growth of Christian personality.

The weeks passed; the babies grew and their senses awakened in due order. By the end of the first month they were smiling when they were touched, enjoying company, and were responsive to their mother's face. Habits were beginning to be formed.

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II. Habit.

Mary had given the subject of habit careful study. She had learned that the, great problem of early babyhood is to prevent the chance formation of bad habits, and to guide the babies into the formation of such good habits as will be a blessing to them throughout life. Mary remembered the words of Solomon, "Train up a child in the way he should go"; just another way of saying, "Help them to form good habits." She remembered, too, that Mary S. Haviland said, "We may not be able to dower our children with beauty, brilliant intellect, or wealth, but, if we begin early enough we can give them what is worth more, than beauty, brilliance, and wealth--the habits that make for health, happiness, success, and morality."¹

Mary, from her study of the Bible, added to these factors, in her own mind, that of spirituality.

Mary and John had learned that habits result from repeated action, and action that brings pleasant results. They realized that the more frequent is the repetition of an action the more apt it become a habit, so they must encourage by constant repetition, and pleasurable results the good acts which they desire to become fixed as habits, and must be watchful for the very first appearance of the wrong conduct, prevent its repetition and make the consequences unpleasant lest it also become a habit.

Luther Allen Weigle says, "the law of habit renders action easier through practice, begets skill and accuracy, and lessens fatigue. It minimizes the need of conscious control, and sets the mind free from attention to familiar details, so that it may give itself to

¹A Study of Babyhood, p 25, Westminster Press.

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new and higher things. It makes learning of all sorts possible, and is responsible even for the calling to mind of our ideas and memories. It enables one to store up capital, day after day, and to establish his life upon increasingly sure foundations. There are few more indispensable services that we can render our children than to help them to form right, wholesome, useful habits.

"The principle of habit has its limitations, however. The most obvious is that it works both ways. Bad habits are as easy to acquire as good ones. Habit confirms and establishes disobedience, shiftlessness, bad temper, uncleanliness, and discourteous manners quite as readily' as obedience, industry, good temper, cleanliness, and courtesy. Even when our intentions are the best, lapses may take place, and modifications creep into our habits, and these may get fastened upon us before we are aware. Habit, moreover, makes it easy for one to get into a rut. It makes us contented with whatever we have become used to; which is, under some conditions, a great blessing, but under other conditions a curse. It tends to blunt the feelings, and it may even dull the intelligence, as it makes it possible for one to go only the familiar paths, indolently following the line of least resistance, without doing any real thinking or attempting to adapt himself to new circumstances, or to face his developing opportunities and responsibilities. It may result in a life of mechanical performance without interest or zest.

"If we would avoid these limitations of habit, we must observe two counsels that are fundamental. The first is: supplement habit with ideas. Develop within the child a sound practical judgment as well as a body

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of right habits. Help him to conceive his situations, explain to him the reasons for various courses of conduct and develop within him the disposition and power to think for himself and to exercise rational deliberate choice.....................

"The second counsel is: Build habits upon instincts (native tendencies). A habit unsupported by predispositions of original nature remains insecure. Make nature work with you. Appeal to the child's native interests, build upon his instinctive responses. Two ends will thus be attained: The instincts will be directed and controlled; and the habits will be given motive, body, and substance."¹

Knowing well that no other human being could give this care, create the atmosphere, prevent bad habits, and develop good ones so well as a mother, Mary decided that, if she could not do all her work with justice to her husband, her children and herself, hired help must do the heavy housework and she would "love" and "guide"² her children, "Looking well to the ways of her household."³

III. Impression.

"Psychologists tell us that of all the myriad impressions of babyhood not one is lost. They sink as it were beneath the surface of memory and become a part of the hidden, subconscious life which so vitally affects the outer conscious life. Happy is the little child who, through regular, fixed habits of eating, sleeping and daily routine, through consistent, just treatment, and through the habit of faith and prayer, lays the basis

¹The Training of Children in the Christian Family (pp. 78-80).

²Titus 2:4, 5.

³Prov. 31:27.

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of an abiding trust in him with whom can be no variation, neither shadow that is cast by turning."¹

These were happy days for this little family. John's toil was made sweet by the thoughts of the comforts his labor provided for his loved ones. He hurried home each evening to share with Mary the evening ritual of fondling the babies and preparing them for the night. With two babies, each could hold one while it drank from its bottle. They were then tucked in their little beds and the young parents kneeling together asked the heavenly Father's blessing on them, and with loving goodnights left them to sweet dreams.

During the few months that they needed attention in the night John helped to give this service. They were soon trained to sleep all night. At the first sound in the morning John and Mary ran a race to greet with happy smiles and a jolly romp the wakening babies. The day started right for them and John could carry in his heart all day a brightness provoked by his "sunshine" makers.

IV. Companionship

Mary did not forget in caring for her babies correctly, that as a wife she must love her husband and be a companion to him. The children were trained to go to sleep early, and she had her evenings with John. She arranged to have someone to sit near the nursery when she went to church or to an occasional social gathering, to give any attention to the children that they might need. Too often a mother deprives herself of this needed relaxation, and her husband of the companionship he needs. A high school girl next door might be glad to earn a bit of spending money and

¹A Study of Babyhood, Mary S. Haviland, p. 40.

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prepare her lessons at the same time, or a dear old lady in the neighborhood can always find use for a little money, and is so glad to earn some.

Mary was systematic. She planned her day and did not forget to find a time to rest some herself. She knew a tired mother is a poor play-fellow and a tired wife a poor companion. They had a screened porch on the south side of the house. During the babyhood of Jack and Jill she found this a good place for the daily sunning and airing, and as soon as it was warm enough the play pen was placed there. The outdoors with its dancing leaves, glinting sunlight. flowers, and birds, was a wonderland to the youngsters. When they were older, she taught them to be close observers. They watched the birds as they came to an urn under a hydrant to drink. They saw the flocks of sparrows even in the cold weather. A beautiful red bird often flew down from the big pecan tree. He scattered the sparrows and chased them all the time his little wife was drinking, or having her bath. He found the choicest worms and crumbs and fed them to her. Then two dainty doves came for water. Jack and Jill noticed their peculiar walk; and that they drank differently. The children laughed as the doves stretched themselves side by side in the brown grass and enjoyed the warmth of the sun. They learned that God, the heavenly Father, cares for the birds. As the robins and the wrens passed on their way to the South they visited this backyard, ate the hackberries, and drank and bathed at the urn. Mary found in these things lessons from nature to direct the minds of the children to the heavenly Father.

When the second winter came John had the porch enclosed with glass that allows the "violet rays" of the

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sun to pass through, and the porch became a play room. John made little chairs and tables and a low couch, a shelf for each so they could have a place for their own story books.

V. Spiritual Nurture

Jack and Jill soon noticed that father and mother each had a book which they used every day, in Bible school and in other meetings. They wanted little Bibles. The parents gave them little New Testaments with pictures. For several years before they could read they carried these little books and learned much of their contents connected with the pictures. They loved these little books and their parents taught them to take care of them--to handle them reverently because the Bible is God's book.

The children learned to pray as naturally as they learned to talk. When they were eighteen months old, at the close of the evening prayer, Jack added "tank 'oo," showing he was getting the idea of gratitude. Soon they were taking part, and when they were four, Mary and John allowed 'them to select which of the four should lead the prayer.

This little family service was very simple but the children were learning to love and trust the heavenly Father and to ask him for help. The children did not become tired, because they could understand and had a part in it. John remembered when he was a little boy, becoming sleepy one night before time for family prayer, so his mother put him to bed; and when his grandfather looked about the family circle and missed the child he had the mother go wake him up and bring him to the service. It made a lasting impression on John. He adored his grandfather, so he appreciated

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being thought of in this way. Mary remembered the family circle where nine chairs, little and big, encircled the big open fire. MI the children who could read had their Bibles and read a part of the evening lesson, but they only listened to their father as he led the prayer. These were sweet memories and the influence had been fine in their lives; so they sought to make it even better in the lives of their children.

Jack and Jill were taught some pretty little prayers of gratitude and petitions, but they were encouraged to be original, to thank God, not just in a general way for all of their blessings, but for the everyday blessings of food, shelter, and all the special pleasures that came to them. Soon the precious little hearts and lips were thanking God for their good father and mother. They asked God to help them to be good. One night after Jack had finished, he turned to his mother and said, "Dear, have I been a better boy today than yesterday?" He was making a conscious effort to be better and wanted to know how well he was succeeding. They often asked God to help them to love the right and to hate the wrong, so John and Mary knew they were getting the right attitude.

One holiday the family, with that of a man who worked in the office with John, went for a picnic out near a large lake. In the afternoon the parents left the children playing near the cars and walked a little way down the edge of the lake. They went farther than they had intended and when they returned the children were gone. They found them in a few minutes but the children had wandered off in the opposite direction and got lost from the road they had taken. One began to cry, but Jill said, "We must pray. God will help us." So down on their knees they went, and

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Jack said, "when we got up and walked a few steps there was the road, and Dear, Tom, didn't know how to pray." What a reflection on Tom's parents!

As the mother has so much more time to devote to the children, she has had the larger part in this story, but I do not want to slight John. He recognized his part in the rearing of their children, accepted the responsibility and lived up to it faithfully. His work required long hours. He left home very early in the morning and returned, often, after dark.

A new neighbor moved next door. Five-year-old Jack loved to make friends, so he was soon on very friendly terms. The neighbor had seen Jill and Mary but missed John, so she asked Jack, "Have you a Daddy, Jack?" "Why 'course I have a Daddy," was the little boy's answer. "Well, I haven't seen him. What is he like?" "My Daddy?" replied Jack, "why my Daddy is big and good like God." The neighbor's curiosity caused her to ask, "What is God like, Jack?" The little boy, a bit puzzled at first, answered, "I just don't know how to tell you but he is tall, a heap taller than a telephone pole. He has eyes that see us. He loves us and has long arms that reach down to help us." John was filling his place as a father in an excellent manner.

Jack and Jill started to Bible school when they were three. Of course the teacher didn't try to instruct them at first, but made a definite effort to nurture them into a love of the place, as God's house; how to live with other children, and to get happiness from making others happy; to find pleasure in caring for toys, pets, and everything more dependent than the child; to do things for themselves; to see the beauties of nature, and to enjoy helping plants and flowers to

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grow; to be grateful to God for all the good things, of life; to develop a love for God's Book because it teIls about God, and about Jesus, who loved little children This was done through stories, pictures, songs. and prayers, all in keeping with the children's age and understanding. It was just a continuance of the home nurture.

The church had provided rooms and equipped them to make possible this service. The teachers not only kept the children through the Bible school hour hut on through the morning hour of worship. Children under six can't understand the sermon. They become rebellious from being made to keep still. The service is a punishment to them. This other plan delights them. They count the days from one Sunday to the next, and the mothers have a chance to hear the sermon and to worship without distraction. Jill loved her class so much that in talking about an approaching visit to Mary's mother she said, "I hope they have a class out there for me." Very soon in their play they were playing Bible school with their neighbor children, and Jack who was a natural leader, was disgusted because these playmates didn't know how to play Bible school. Their parents were letting them "grow up."

Children are very susceptible to impressions. One day Jill was playing with her hands the little play, forming the "church, steeple, doors, and people." She said,

"Here's the church,
Here's the steeple,
Open the door," and instead of saying, "And here's the people," she said, "And here's Mrs. LeDuke." Mrs. LeDuke was a faithful member of the church, always there every time the doors of the church

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were open. She always noticed the children, and had something pleasant to say to them. The little three year-old child had received an impression that will do her good all her life.

Jill was a bit shy and timid so one of Mary's friends advised sending her for lessons with an expression teacher who had a class of children in the neighborhood. She told Mary of a recital the class had given in which one beautiful child, dressed in the daintiest clothes her mother could find, gave as her part of the program, a verse,

"I have a sweet little face
And a cute little figger
But stay away boys
Till I get a little bigger."

Note the number of wrong impressions, ideas, and attitudes that were planted in the mind of that precious little girl, and of the other children as well.

Another number was a dialogue in which the little girls, impersonating their mothers, discussed, ridiculed and said unkind things about their neighbors.

Mary said she preferred that Jill grow up timid and shy rather than to be exposed to this training, which would be injurious to the development of Christian personality.

When the children were three Mary started following a regular program of home teaching and nurture to build into them those wonderful traits of character that make up Christian personality. She followed rather closely the outline given in "Home Lessons in Religion," a manual for mothers, by Samuel Wells Stagg and Mary Boyd Stagg; with the stories, songs,

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and games from "The Mother--Teacher of Religion,"¹ by Anna Freelove Betts.

This is a systematic course of lessons carefully planned for children of that age. The first manual is for the three-year-old child, the second for four and five. The lessons build one on another, thus are much better than a hit-or-miss method, and save the mother much time in preparation. Mary though, had her program in her mind before hand, telling the stories and singing the songs entirely without the book. With the children, all of it came from mother.

VI. Activity.

This period of early childhood is one of constant activity, and the parent must work with, and not against it. It is by exercise that the child grows physically and mentally.

1. Curiosity

The child is continually on journeys of discovery. There are so many things to learn about everything. He must see, hear, touch, taste, and smell, so that he can know whether an object is hard or soft, slick or fuzzy, whether it makes a big sound when dropped or thrown. Perhaps he can build with it or put it inside something else. Is it white or black, red or yellow? What can he do with it? As soon as Jack and Jill began to evince curiosity about objects about the house, Mary or John, as the occasion presented itself, would let the child feel the object, examine it, and then put the vase, dish, book, or spoon back where it belonged. A child isn't interested in one thing long, but if children are not allowed to satisfy their curiosity they

¹The Abingdon Press, Cincinnati, Ohio.

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will not give up easily. A little girl just beginning to walk visited in our home. A little revolving book shelf stood by the desk in our study. She discovered it and began pulling the books out, to the dismay of her parents. They took her and kept her away from it. Months afterward they came again, and the child ran once to the book shelf. Her curiosity hadn't been satisfied. Play affords an outlet for the constant flow of this pent-up power, and in his play the child imitates the busy life about him. Not only are his muscles growing in strength and skill, and his mind accumulating knowledge, but he is also building new experiences into character, and forming habits for life. This tendency or desire must be allowed to function. The child during this period just cannot be idle. He cannot keep still, as he is so often commanded to do. The command frequently brings rebellion. He is provoked to anger by being commanded to do the impossible. If he is quiet or still long at a time, you had better see the doctor about him.

2. Restraint and Nagging.

If a child's desires are constantly thwarted he will grow nervous and irritable, then defiant and stubborn. He will be unhappy and feel the lack of sympathy of those who fail to understand. Discouragement and loss of interest overwhelms the child who never does anything right. Some parents begin in this way with children in this period. They preach, scold, and nag. As the children grow older they never trust them to do the right thing, but tell them every time just how and what to do; and after they have ruined the child's disposition, and often his health, condemn him, complain about his lack of love, when they should be con-

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demning themselves for ruining his life. "Provoke not your children to anger," is a principle of vast importance. Another result of restraint is a weakened will or character. If the child's will is broken, if he is withheld from doing, by a constant "don't," he cannot reach the fullest development.

3. Play.

John and Mary added the backyard as a playground to the porch which we have already mentioned. Sand boxes, swings, a set of little steps to climb up and jump off, later an exercise bar that was made higher each year, a simple see-saw, a lot of blocks to build with, old spoons, buckets, tin cups and in the summer a place to make mudpies. Simple overalls or sun-suits that dirt could not hurt saved much trouble.

4. Toys

John and Mary didn't buy many toys but those they did buy were good, not of flimsy material or shoddy workmanship. They reasoned that dozens of little cars, dolls, books, and animals caused them to be thrown about carelessly, and developed destructive habits in the children. The few toys they bought were cared for as worth something. Later when they sacrificed to buy tricycles, wagons, or any more valuable possessions, these things were not left out in the weather to rust; the little toy furniture wasn't broken and beaten up in a short time.

Our parents found that the children enjoyed materials and tools to work with far more than mechanical toys that would only perform. The child is active; he enjoys doing things and making things, more than seeing others, either people or toys, perform.

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5. Oversight

Mary avoided the mistake many people make, for she realized that activity must be under a watchful eye. The nature of development that follows will depend on the nature of the activity. We want our children to be ladies and gentlemen, not hoodlums. One day Mary sat on the porch mending, where she could see Jack and Jill with two older children playing in the yard. They were playing school, and one of the children was the teacher. She screamed her commands to the pupils and constantly threatened them with severe punishment. Mary noticed the frightened and puzzled look in her children's eyes. She could read their thoughts as they seemed to say, "If school is like that, if teachers are cross and cruel we do not want to go to school." She called the little teacher and asked if her teacher did that way? When she answered, "No," Mary said, "Suppose you be a kind, pleasant teacher. Your pupils will like the play better." So the play changed. When they began to get cross with each other, she was ready with a suggestion of a different game. Mary was very careful about the children's playmates, for she realized they would very quickly copy the conduct, language, and manners of other children.

One day the colored maid at a house next door brought a little colored girl about Jill's age with her. Jill was across the yard fence in a few minutes playing with her. Mary called Jill home, Jill begged to be allowed to play with the colored child, "Dear, I am sure she is of a good family for she speaks good English," was her argument.

One day a very dirty little girl came into the yard

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to play with the children. Jill told her if she would go home and wash her face, and put on a clean dress she could play with her. The child ran down the street and returned in a little while with clean hands and dress. Jill invited her in the house, showed her a Bible, and asked her what book it was. When she answered correctly Jill was satisfied she would be all right to play with, and came and explained it to her mother.

Mary had several friends, with children near the age of Jack and Jill. As these friends, members of the same congregation, had formed close friendships, the children, being reared in the same careful way, with the same ideals, were brought together to play. One mother could in this way supervise the play, if the other mothers needed to shop or visit elsewhere, though often the group sat and sewed, enjoying visiting with each other while the children played. Thus they grew up together and were friends all their lives.

I must not forget to tell you, too, that Mary played with her children a great deal. On rainy or cold days, as she sewed or mended, she bought make-believe vegetables from little peddlers. She cut money from card board the size of nickels, dimes, quarters, half dollars, and dollars, marking each with its value. Each time she paid they learned to make the right change. One day Jack was the ice man, and Jill sold bonnets or dolls. Another day it was something else. Many were the conversations over the quality of the merchandise or vegetables. In the play life they were learning to give good measure, and that quality was important.

Every holiday, when the weather would permit, she and John took the children to the country, the park, or the zoo. They looked forward to their summer visits to grandfather and grandmother on the farm. Par-

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ents who live on the farm have a much better chance to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The fields, woods, streams, and sky are full of illustrations of God's care for his creatures, and the attractions of evil are not pressing in on every side.

Jack and Jill were, as all bright children are, full of questions. Their parents were always careful to answer truthfully, and in an interesting way, all sincere questions brought by the children. Children will sometimes invent questions just to get attention; but usually it is their curiosity, their desire to learn, so parents can easily learn to distinguish the motive. Jack came to his dinner late one day. Not being able to understand the conversation, he quickly asked, "Who did what, when, and where?"

We must remember that every outgoing activity tends toward a habit. Of course some fine habits have been built into character by painstaking, thoughtful effort, but untidiness, selfishness, and irreverence are built in the thoughtless outflow of activity when no one is "looking well to the ways" of the children. A greater ill effect of uncontrolled activity is lawlessness and undisciplined character. The child who is obedient only to his own desires or whims will disregard, later in life, the laws of God and man.

Wise direction of activity will obviate these unhappy results. A child, ignorant and unskilled, responds to a pleasant, "this is a fine way to do." It is a double joy to him. He loves activity, and he also loves approval and sympathy of parent and teacher. With encouragement he puts forth greater effort which results in development, but better still he is learning the greatest lesson of early childhood--obedience.

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VII. Obedience

"Obedience is only activity under law. It begins with the submission to the will of the parent, but when at last it is a response of the whole life to the will of God, and rendered of voluntary and loving choice, it has reached its highest unfolding."¹

Unless this be the result of the watchful nurture of childish activity no life will be safe after it goes beyond the restraints of parental care. By pleasing approval, firm restraint, and disapproval the heart of the child must be trained to obey. If the child respects the parent's authority and knowledge, if the bond between them is one of sympathy, trust, and love his attitude will be as was David's toward Jehovah: "I delight to do Thy will, O my God: yea, Thy law is within my heart."²

This attitude is not the product of compelling power, else God would force men and women to obey him; since obedience is his desire. "Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice and to hearken than the fat of rams."³

The Apostle Paul gives us the secret of his tireless activity in the cause of Christ; "The love of Christ constraineth us."⁴ Love is the secret of the obedient child, the obedient son and daughter in later years. Some parents think they love their children, and in a way they do; but they love themselves, their own wellbeing, and their future security more than they do their children, for they are always thinking of what their children owe them, and are never happy unless the children are spending much time in gratifying their whims. If we love our children we are happy

¹Unknown.

²Ps. 40:8.

³1 Sam. 15:22.

⁴2 Cor. 5:14.

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only when they are happy. We are responsible for their living in this world; and we should delight to do, to say, and to sacrifice, that their pilgrimage be as glad, happy, and successful as is possible. This kind of love begets the devoted, loyal, love of good sons and daughters.

Love, words of approval, patience, encouragement, and help, with experiencing the consequences of each act, whether pleasant or painful, lead the child to obey the one who guides rightly. Soon he learns the meaning of right and wrong, and that the pathway of right is not laid down arbitrarily by father, mother or teacher, but that God has traced out the pathway and all father, mother, teacher, and child alike--must walk in it.

Mary and John began very early in training Jack and Jill to be obedient. They soon learned the difference between the cry of hunger, of pain, or of anger; so responded to the first two calls, but the call of anger did not result in the child being taken up. They saw that there was no discomfort to cause the anger, and so let the baby find out that no good could come in that way. They took them up, romped with them, and carried them about when they were good.

At six months they began teaching them the meaning of "no, no." They purchased a toy for each that was not to be put in their mouths. Of course the first move was to put it there. They pulled the toy back, saying calmly but positively, "no, no." This was repeated several times. The babies were shown the toy would make a pretty noise; but very soon it was taken away, and a toy substituted that could go into the mouth. Several times a day the little drill was gone through, and in a short time they learned to obey the

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"no, no." In the same way they were taught to do things, like pulling a handkerchief off their heads. Delighted approval was showered on them when they obeyed.

When they were old enough to understand commands, John and Mary gave their commands in a calm. positive, but pleasant tone--in a manner suggesting obedience. They made sure the child heard and understood, gave it time to separate itself from its occupation, and then if obedience didn't follow, they immediately secured it. They did not get out of humor themselves, scold harshly, or provoke the child to anger. Now I do not mean they always succeeded in such control of themselves. Once Mary had had a trying day, was sick with fatigue and the children seemed very trying, especially Jill; and Mary forgot herself and reproved her in very loud tones. Jill's little heart was almost broken. Mother's crossness hurt her so she ran into another roam shaking with sobs. In a moment Mary was penitent, and going near said, "Don't cry, mother didn't mean to hurt her little girl." Jack stood in the door and said, "Sister, say a little prayer, God will help, then it will be all right. That's what I do when she talks loud to me, and he always helps." Mary said, "I never had such a lesson in my life and I resolved right then never to bruise tender little hearts with an unkind tone."

She told the children stories about obedient children, Samuel, Moses, and the boy Jesus.

She played a game with them, and they played it with others, called "taking orders," seeing which could obey orders quickest.

She and John did not argue or reason with the children when they were small. The children respected

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their knowledge of what was right, so "This is the right thing to do," was the only reason given. Implicit obedience is necessary.

One day Jack and Jill and another child were playing in the yard. The father of the other child drove by on a load of cane to feed the cow. When he reached the cow lot and untied the rope that held the load on the frame, some bundles fell on the backs of the horses, frightening them so they began to run, throwing the man under the wagon. The loaded wagon passed over his chest Mary heard the noise of the running team and ran to the porch just in time to call to the children to come back. They had gone through the gate to the screaming man but turned at her command and were just back through the gate when the team dashed by. They were saved from probable death by their instant obedience.

VIII. Discipline

John and Mary realized that punishment and discipline were necessary. They recalled that the wise man said, "He that spareth the rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes,"¹ and "Withhold not correction from the child."² Job in the midst of his affliction said, "Behold happy is the man whom God correcteth, therefore, despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty,"³ and that the Holy Spirit through Paul wrote, "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth every son he received."⁴ John in Revelation expresses the same thought: that God's love leads him to correct us. A parent who really loves his child will correct him when he is disobedient.

¹Prov. 13:24.

²Prov. 23:13.

³Job 5:17

⁴Heb. 12:6.

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John and Mary agreed when the children were very small that they would never disagree in the children's presence, and above all else they would stand by each other in this matter of correction.

When either of the children were naughty, disapproval was often sufficient punishment. "Sending the child to coventry." which some writers call leaving the naughty one entirely out of the conversation, romp, or work, was another method used They tried always to fit the punishment to the child and the offense. When quite small a few taps of a little switch, given seriously, never in a joking way, was very effective. Disobedience was always treated very seriously. They never punished when they themselves were angry or even upset. Mary would wait a while, then take the child away from the family, quietly and calmly talk to him, then administer the punishment, often with tears in her own eyes. The children did not rebel. They knew that it was her duty to make them "be good." When they ran away to a neighbor's they were tied. When they quarrelled in their play she let them settle the matter between themselves (just didn't hear) unless one became harsh or unjust to the other (There is something wrong with children that never quarrel.) Then she would intervene and would have the guilty one go into another room and sit in some certain place that was designated as "jail." In a few minutes she would hear. "Dear, I'll be good." He would come back all smiles. Love was the ruling principle in this home. The children called their mother "Dear" instead of mother.

From John's family had come a tradition of impersonating the spirit of evil or naughtiness, calling it, "the blue-branch girl, or boy." So when Jack or Jill

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got in a bad humor or started in the wrong direction, often just an appeal, "Watch out! that blue branch boy has come; run him off Jack, we do not want him here!" or, "Jill, no one loves the blue-branch girl; chase her away; we want our happy Jill to come back," would arouse their imagination and the cause of the unpleasantness would be forgotten.

Neither John nor Mary ever talked of the disobedience or punishment of the children to others, in their presence. Mary never spoiled meals for the family, or the digestion of her children, by recounting the friction of the preceding hours. She didn't tell John of their naughtiness in their presence. If it was necessary to have his help she talked it over with him, and let him take the offender off to himself to handle the matter. Neither did she punish or scold just before bedtime. Children should go to sleep in a happy frame of mind, for the quality of their sleep is just as important as the quantity.

IX. Industry and Helpfulness.

John and Mary remembered in their study of Christ-like personality that energy, industry, and helpfulness are necessary and important traits.

They began early to encourage and train Jack and Jill to pick their toys from the floor and to put them away. Soon little brooms added interest to helping mother clean the floor. Small dust cloths were made for them to rub the chairs and furniture. Soon they were drying the silver. When they were old enough certain tasks were assigned to each, and they were depended on to do them. A few times the milk bottles were forgotten so they had to eat their cereal without milk. They were taught how to do the tasks, and the

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tasks were made interesting in different ways. A failure to do them or to do them properly was made to bring some unpleasant result.

X. System.

They were also taught system and order. The spoons, knives, and forks must he put each in their places, and their clothes and toys the same way. They learned to sew on buttons, and Jill pieced a little quilt when she was four years old. Jack learned to rake leaves and weed the flower beds. They had tiny gardens, and planted a few of many kinds of seed. They would run a race every morning in the spring to see how much their plants had grown. Someone asked Jack one day what he had in his garden. "A bean, a pea, and a cut worm." And I thought, "It is sad, but true, in the beautiful garden of childhood, the cut worms do their work unless the parents are eternally vigilant."

XI. Gratitude, Courtesy, and Kindness.

John and Mary remembered too, that gratitude, courtesy, kindness, and thoughtfulness of others must all be incorporated in the personality that is Christ-like, and realizing the importance of building these into the heart of the child while in these impressionable years, they did not procrastinate. First, of course, they exhibited these graces themselves, and the atmosphere of their home was filled with their sweet odor, but they did not depend entirely on this. They thanked the children over and over every day, and suggested the expression of thanks when anyone did anything for them, if they failed to think of it. John was very careful to be courteous, even gallant, in his treatment

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of Mary. Soon little Jack would open the door and stand aside for his mother or Jill to pass through. Either of the children when they were four could go to the door and invite a visitor into the living room in a nice manner. When they were called to meals, they stood behind their chairs until their parents were ready to be seated. At lunch, Jack or Jill, either, could offer thanks in a serious, reverent manner. Many other courtesies which reveal the kind, respectful attitude of the heart were evident in these children in this period of their lives.

One afternoon a visitor, the preacher's wife, came. The children invited her in and gave her the nicest chair. Their mother wasn't quite ready to come in, so they chatted pleasantly; but when Mary appeared, Jill dragged Jack out of the only other rocker in the room so that their mother might have it. Jack didn't object at all. He hadn't thought as quickly as Jill.

XII. Music and Stories.

Mary and John used stories and songs all through these years. The beautiful lullabys of Brahme and Barnby were sung to the children in infancy. Bright, happy little songs often put to rout a cry or a pout. They had a Victrola. They selected records of beautiful music so they could build into the children an appreciation and a love for good music. They were made to realize how easily a little child may become attached to jazz or ragtime, by a friend who told how her little boy loved the beautiful records she had, but when she was in the hospital a few weeks some young men boarders, in her absence, brought in some ragtime records and had played them for her little boy's entertainment. After her return she began playing some of

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the good records and her little son immediately objected, "No, no, Mother, play pitty music." She immediately had the jazz records taken away.

Jack and Jill often began the day with "Good morning, Merry Sunshine," and closed it more often with "God Will Take Care of You." They learned to love and to sing beautiful hymns. Their little thirsty minds drank in every detail of the stories John and Mary told them. These young parents gathered the stories from every available source, and were careful that these stories would serve some purpose in their aim of building Christ-like personality. I do not mean that they moralized. They let the story do that.

Their love of good music was such that when the radio was turned on, if it began to bring into the home the wrong kind of music, either of the children would run to turn it off.

XIII. Modesty and Purity

Mary and John realized that they must also lay the foundation of modesty and purity, and a hatred of the ugly and impure, during these early years. A mother was heard to say, "We will soon have to be careful what we y and do before baby." Parents can't begin this too soon. John and Mary were modest by nature and training. They hated evil and ugliness, so the atmosphere of the home was right for they knew their little ones must be taught to be nice, and not to expose their bodies in an immodest way. They always called their sex organs by their technical names, teaching them to be very careful to keep them clean. Mary was careful to see that their clothes in day or night did not bind or rub them, but did it all in a plain matter of fact way without attracting any undue attention.

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Their questions were answered truthfully. The knowledge of the origin of life came to them naturally. They had a pair of bantam chickens and each year the little hen raised a brood of little chickens. A pair of beautiful canaries in the home served the same purpose as each year some new baby birds came. When Easter came and the children asked if the rabbits laid eggs, as the neighbor children were told, or if the little rabbits came out of eggs, Mary told them no, that God made the little rabbits grow in the body of the mother rabbit until they were large enough to live outside. Then the question came, "Where did we come from," and it was easy to tell them that God made them grow in a little room in her body, right under her heart, until they were large enough to live outside.

John told them how careful they should be with mother hens, and they shouldn't hurt or kill the birds for they might kill a mother or a father bird and the baby birds would starve. He taught them that they must be gentle and careful with mother animals lest the babies be hurt. He told them how trying and painful to their mother had been their growth and birth, so they must love her and take care of her as long as she lived.

As this first period of life drew to a close John and Mary went to their chart as they had done so often during these six years. They studied it and studied their children. They were grateful that they could feel that Jack and Jill had a good foundation in all these necessary traits of character. They were able to see the weak points in each child, and resolved to so order the nurture and training during the next period as to strengthen these weak points. They studied themselves and were gratified at the growth they had

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made, but they could see their faults and failures as well.

The time had come for the children to start to school, to be separated from their mother for several hours each day, and to come in contact with children from all kinds of homes.

John and Mary thanked God that he had given them the privilege and the joy of these years of preparation, and again they asked for wisdom and guidance in their work during the next period of their lives in guiding their home as God would have it, and that they might "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."¹

TIED DOWN

"They tie you down," a woman said,
Whose cheeks should have been flaming red
With shame to speak of children so.
"When babies come, you cannot go
In search of pleasure with your friends,
And all your happy wandering ends.
The things you like you cannot do,
For babies make a slave of you."

I looked at her and said: "'Tis true
That children make a slave of you,
And tie you down with many a knot,
But have you never thought to what
It is of happiness and pride
That little babies have you tied?
Do you not miss the greater joys
That come with little girls and boys?

"They tie you down to laughter rare,
To hours of smiles and hours of care,
To nights of watching and to fears;
Sometimes they tie you down to tears

¹2 Peter 3:18.

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And then repay you with a smile,
And make your trouble all worthwhile,
They tie you fast to chubby feet,
And cheeks of pink and kisses sweet.

"They fasten you with cords of love
To God divine, who reigns above.
They tie you, where so'er you roam,
Unto the little place called home;
And over sea or railroad track
They tug at you to bring you back.
The happiest people in the town
Are those the babies have tied down.

"Oh, go your selfish way and free,
But hampered I would rather be,
Yes rather than a kingly crown
I would be, what you term, tied down;
Tied down to dancing eyes and charms,
Held fast by chubby, dimpled arms,
The fettered slave of girl and boy,
And win from them earth's finest joy."
Edgar A. Guest in "The Path To Home,"
The Reilly and Lee Company.

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER FIVE
EARLY CHILDHOOD

1. What is the extent of the importance of this period in the life of a child?
2. What preparation other than physical should parents make before the arrival of a baby?
3. What of the improvements that have been made in the last generation in the care of babies?
4. To what are children very susceptible?
5. What provisions should a church make for the training of parents?
6. What command must Christian parents obey?
7. Has God furnished sufficient instruction?

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8. What does Solomon say with reference to child training?
9. Who are commanded by the New Testament to train the young women in home making and child training" Who is responsible for the training of the older women?
10. Are fathers to have part in this training?
11. What is necessary in order that one may do this child training?
12. Do all children go through similar and distinct stages of development?
13. Compare a knowledge of these stages and their possibilities with farming.
14. What is absolutely necessary, in the nurture of a soul. which cannot be bought with money?
15. Why not risk the experimental method?
16. What creates home atmosphere?
17. Through what innate tendencies does home atmosphere work?
18. Discuss each of these tendencies.
19. What must we add to these natural tendencies, and how does the home atmosphere shape the thoughts of the child?
20. Since children are social beings, influenced by the conduct of others, in what must there be harmony?
21. What of the importance of right habits? Discuss this subject thoroughly.
22. With what must we supplement a body of right habits?
23. To what should we appeal in building habits?
24. What of impressions?
25. What is a wife apt to forget during the first years of motherhood that is of great importance in the home as God would have it?
26. How early are children capable of receiving spiritual impressions?
27. How should they be taught to pray?
28. From what does the little child get his conception of God?
29. In what should parents and teachers of little children nurture them from three to six years of age?

114 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

30. What should parents provide in the church building for little children?
31. Should spiritual nurture other than the home atmosphere he given little children?
32. Why should the parent work with and not against the innate tendency to activity?
33. How does the child learn?
34. What is the result of improper restraint and nagging?
35. Discuss the place of play in the life of the child.
36. What kind of toys are best for their development?
37. What of watchfulness? Discuss this fully.
38. What of the importance of playing with children?
39. What is obedience? How does God regard this virtue? How may it be secured?
40. What is the secret as given by the Apostle Paul?
41. Show how to train children from babyhood to the understanding obedience of the age when reason can rule.
42. Why is implicit obedience necessary in childhood?
43. Discuss discipline. Name numbers of mistakes constantly being made at this point.
44. What kind of answer "turneth away wrath" in a child as well as a grown-up?
45. What determines the quality of sleep?
46. In what other traits of Christ-like personality should parents begin early to train their children? How may this be done?
47. Discuss the use of music and stories in training children.
48. How soon and in what ways should training in modesty and purity begin?
49. What knowledge is of great importance to a child entering school?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER V

The Bible.
The Mother Teacher of Religion, by Anna Freelove Betts, published by The Arlington Press, Cincinnati, Ohio.
A Study of Babyhood, by Mary S. Haviland, published by Westminster Press, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

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The Unfolding Life, by Antoinette A. Lamoreaux, published by Fleming H. Revell Company, New York, New York.
The Church and the Children, Chapter II by Mrs. Loyd Rutledge, published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.
The Path to Home, by Edgar A. Guest, published by The Reilly and Lee Company, Chicago, Illinois.
Are You Training Your Child to be Happy, publication No. 202, United States Department of Labor, Children's Bureau, Washington, D. C.
The Child From One to Six, His Care and Training, Publication No. 30, United States Department of Labor, Children's Bureau, Washington, D. C.

The following booklets are exceptionally practical and helpful:

The Mother as Playfellow, by Albert Munkres, 15 cents.
The Roots of Disposition and Character, by George Herbert Betts, 15 cents.
The Government of Young Children, by William Byron Forbush, 25 cents.
Story Telling in the Home, by William Byron Forbush, 20 cents.
The Education of the Baby Until He Is One Year Old, by William Byron Forbush, 15 cents.
How One Real Mother Lives With Her Children, Mrs. B. G. M., 15 cents, published by The Abingdon Press, Cincinnati, Ohio.

CHAPTER SIX
MEETING ADVERSITY

Life had gone very smoothly with our young couple. While John's salary had not been large. he had been promoted from time to time, so the increases in family expense had not been difficult to meet. John and Mary had been very careful not to live beyond their income. But the economic breakdown began to affect their neighbors and friends, and one day John came home to Mary with a load on his heart. The company for which he worked had suffered heavy losses and he was transferred to a different city at a much smaller salary. It would mean their separation from friends and fellow Christians with whom they had worked since their marriage. John came to Mary with his disappointment. He had worked faithfully, and he was confident of Mary's sympathy and co-operation in meeting their problem. He knew that a number of the men who worked by his side would meet wails and complaints that would add to their burden. "It looks bad, John, but there is good in it somewhere. You must not worry; we have always asked the heavenly Father to rule over our lives. We love him and he has said, 'AU things work together for good to those who love the Lord, to those who are called according to his purpose.' We dislike to leave our old friends, but we will not lose them and we will make new ones. We will miss our happy associations in the home church,

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but perhaps there is more work we can do for the Lord in this other city. We will just make a new budget and live within our income. Many people live, and are well and happy on much less. We will think carefully. Our habit of keeping a record of all our expenses will enable us to go over it and check those that we can lessen."

Thus Mary comforted John with practical, helpful suggestions. Soon they began to think of the advantages of the new location and to plan to get good for themselves, for Jack and Jill, and to search out opportunities to help in the Lord's work. Troubles rarely come singly, and so to John came a hurried call to his parents' home.

John's mother had been in poor health for some time, but her condition had not been alarming at any time, so the message that she had slipped quietly away to the heavenly home was quite a shock and grief to our little family. John didn't know how he could do without his precious mother. He felt he owed so much to her counsel, encouragement and love. Mary had found in John's mother a Naomi, and the children adored their loving grandmother, so a sweet but poignant sorrow filled their hearts as they sped over the highway. This was the first death in the experience of the children, so as they went Mary talked to them of the home Jesus had prepared for those who love and serve him.

The year before, the children had seen some butterfly moths wind themselves in their cocoons. John had cared for several of them, and after a few months beautiful butterflies came out to live a new life. He had told the children then that this was somewhat like it would be with God's children. He would give them

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beautiful new bodies free from pain and trouble, and a glorious home with him. So to Jack and Jill, as it should be to all of us who trust our Lord, grandmother had gone on a journey and after a while if they were good like grandmother they would go to live with her in God's home.

In the days, weeks, and months that followed, the thoughts so beautifully expressed in this poem by Phoebe Cary helped the bereft husband and children to bear their sorrow.

"Side by side are we still though a shadow
Between us doth fall;
We are parted, and yet are not parted,
Not wholly and all;
For still you are round and about me,
Almost in my reach,
Though I miss the old, pleasant communion
Of smile, and of speech.
And I long to hear, what you are seeing
And what you have done,
Since the earth faded out from your vision,
And the heavens begun;
Since you dropped off the darkening fillet
Of clay from your sight,
And opened your eyes upon glory
Ineffably bright!
Though little my life has accomplished,
My poor hands have wrought,
I have lived what has seemed to be ages
In feeling and thought,
Since the time, when our path grew so narrow
So near the unknown,
That I turned back from following after,
And you went alone.
For we speak of you cheerfully, always,
As journeying on;
Not as one who is dead do we name you;
We say, you are gone.

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For how could we speak of you sadly.
We, who watched while the grace
Of eternity's wonderful beauty
Grew over your face!
Do we call the star lost that is hidden
In the great light of morn?
Or fashion a shroud for the young child
In the day it is born?
Yet behold this were wise to their folly,
Who mourn, sore distressed,
When a soul, that is summoned, believing,
Enters into its rest!"
--Phoebe Cary.

John's father now turned to his stalwart son, the son of his loved wife for strength, comfort, and guidance. The father was frail, and this loss of his devoted companion left him in a pitiable condition. John saw that they could not leave him alone. They must take him into their home. Mary, too, was quick to see the need, and did not wait for John to ask of her the privilege of sharing their home. As usual her practical mind began finding the good that could come to the children, and the cheer the children could give the grandfather, by his coming to live with them.

When the precious body was put away as lovingly and tenderly as it could be done they took the father home with them. John had listed their residence with a real estate agent to trade for a home in the city to which they must move, so in a few days he and Mary made a trip to see what they could do. Several offers were made; some in the beautiful residential sections, and some in the suburbs. They selected one in a suburb near a good school where transportation to the city was convenient. The lot was 150x200 feet, and the house large enough for the privacy and quiet so neces-

120 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

sary for the comfort of all. There was much to be done to the house and grounds to make it as pretty as the old home. But three lots instead of one would give them room for the children to have all kinds of play ground. John and Mary realized that this was very important in the development of Christian personality. They found that a church had been started near, and they could see from the service they attended that there would be an opportunity for them to help. At home when they talked it over with the grandfather and the children, they learned that they had acted wisely. Grandfather asked if he could bring a dozen of his finest hens, and a young jersey cow, and the furniture for his room that he and grandmother had used for many years. These would give him a place and a part in the new home, and the cow and chickens would occupy some of the time which all of them knew would hang heavily on him.

Mary drew a plot of the ground, and they planned the use of the outbuildings that were already there. The high wire fences would be put up and covered with various beautiful and useful vines, flower and vegetable gardens, fruit trees, berry and grape vines, located. Of course they couldn't do very much at first, but having it all planned, saved wasting labor and material. Mary said the children weren't much trouble now, and would soon be in school, and they should be trained to help more from year to year about the home; so she could do the cooking and house work, with a woman to come in twice a week to do the laundry and heavier cleaning. The saving in the cook's salary and food would cover the extra expense of the new member of the family. The cow, chickens and garden would supply a good part of the food. Of course,

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there would be the cow feed and chicken feed to buy: but there was pasture just across the road at the rear of their home where the cow could graze. While their milk, butter, and egg bill had been large they had never bought all that they could use. Mary knew many ways to use this fine protein, fat and mineral food, so that it would take the place of other foods. The children would learn so much and it would be such a pleasure to the grandfather to teach them.

They were soon preparing to move. John came home one day with a new gratitude in his heart for his brave, helpful wife. He had learned that Jim, a fellow worker was sad and discouraged because he had to go to the new location alone. His wife had taken their children and gone to her parents to stay until he could get a larger salary. She was unwilling to bear even a part of the burden, yet she was willing to deprive the husband of the joy and comfort of a home and family, and the children of the companionship of their father. She had failed as a wife. During the depression many marriages have been wrecked, homes destroyed, and often suicide has ended the lives of young people too cowardly to meet adversity. Sometimes the husband has been unwilling to admit to the wife his financial inability to gratify every wish she or his children might have, and so either by embezzlement or suicide has brought the greatest sorrow possible into the lives of his loved ones.

In Johns' home, as God would have it, the wife stood nobly by the husband, and the husband did his best in service to his employer, and in sacrificing many little things that added to his pleasure or comfort or gratified his pride, so that the smaller salary might provide all the necessities for his beloved wife and little ones.

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Our little family was soon settled in the new home and John in his new office. The first Lord's day they attended Bible school and presented themselves for membership in the church, stating to the elders their willingness to help. Such conduct always brings its rd. The dear old grandfather and John and Mary found kindred souls, and the children soon had new friends to play with. Jack came in one day to say, "I like this town. I said, hello to a man and he said, hello to me, I think we are going to be friends."

The child's trustful friendliness just couldn't be resisted. One neighbor had been reported as "impossible," but Jack talked with him a while, and came home with a toy boat the man had whittled out for him.

John, Mary, and grandfather studied the place, the soil, surroundings and possibilities, and perfected their plans for improvement. They made a trip to grandfather's old home to bring tools, plants, trees, grass and some of each of the dear grandmother's flowers. A red-bud, a cedar, a pecan, and an elm were brought from the woodland. John cherished these because they came from the old home.

They visited the resting place of the dear loved one, and beautified it with evergreens and flowers from the old home.

Mary wrote to her parents and they sent her lilac, syringa, clematis, and honey suckle. These young parents were building a home with sweet memories for their children. Jack and Jill each had a part in the planting and watering, and each claimed certain trees and shrubs as their own.

They brought grandmother's books, linen, silver, and other household treasures to preserve for Jack and

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Jill. John loved them, of course, and he and Mary realized the refining, ennobling effect on character, brought about by the traditions of gentleness, culture, and intelligence in one's ancestors.

Grandfather's room was just as nearly like his old home as they could make it, with grandmother's pictures, curtains, rug, and furniture. He was a thoughtful man and respected the family life and routine of child training. He didn't interfere or question the parents' management of affairs in any way.

While he was lonely and sad, he loved and respected his children so much that he endeavored to fit into, and make as little difference in, their home life as possible. The children never tired of the stories he told them of his childhood.

The summer passed rapidly. John was soon teaching a class of young people in Bible school, and leading the song service of the church. Mary was given the pre-school class. She felt she was better prepared for this since she had given such careful study to this period of childhood as Jack and Jill passed through it. She and John invited the young people into their home each week for song practice and social pleasure. They realized that their talent and training in singing, and their home, should be used for God just as Moses was commanded to use the rod he carried in his hand.

Mary canned and preserved the surplus vegetables and fruit from garden and orchard. "Gather up the fragments, that nothing be lost," she remembered, was the command of Jesus. During her visit to her parents on the farm her mother helped her to can, not only these things but beef, and chicken, so she brought home a good supply for the winter.

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This was an added source of satisfaction when later in the summer. John, with the other employees, suffered another cut in salary and a second adjustment had to be made in their budget. With this cut came shorter hours. Instead of using this leisure time to run about seeking pleasure, John used it to improve their house. His high school course in manual training, which at the time he had thought of little value, now helped him greatly. Gradually he redecorated the interior, refinished some fine old furniture he had bought from his childhood home. Scraping off the shining varnish he found the wood in beautiful condition, and he gave it a soft wax finish which delighted Mary. Mary was glad, too, that they were constant reminders of John's loving mother.

Realizing that they must save their car, and the expense of gasoline, they often packed a lunch and took the children for long walks through the hills, or went fishing in a nearby stream. They found the simple, inexpensive recreations just as pleasant and healthful as playing golf, or driving long distances to commercialized pleasure resorts.

John and Mary spent no time lamenting over the good times of the past, but every day thanked God for work, and did all they could to encourage and help others less fortunate. They searched for opportunities to share their material, social, and spiritual blessings, and so grew continuously in Christian personality. As they thought of their sorrow and material adversity, they remembered the words of Paul, "Our light affliction which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,"

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A PRAYER

"My God, I pray that through today
I may walk patiently.
Forgetting not that Thy dear hand
Is leading me.

"I know not what Thy wisdom, Lord,
May choose for me today,
What the long hours may hold for me
I cannot say.

"I only know that I may go
Unquestioningly with Thee,
Remembering that what Thou wilt
Is best for me.

"For Thou, Oh, Lord, canst see the end
While I but see the way--
Help me to walk it patiently
Throughout today."
--Grace Noll Crowell

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER VI

1. What is the basis for marital happiness in financial matters?
2. What are the results of a lack of frankness with reference to financial condition of the family?
3. How will a true wife conduct herself in the face of reverses, necessary moving and change in the scale of living?
4. How will the habit of budgeting and keeping records help in these changes?
5. What should be the first consideration in locating a home?
6. Discuss different things that should enter into this decision.
7. How should husband and wife help each other in days of sorrow?
8. How explain death to a little child?
9. What of a child's duty to parents in their old age?
10. How may a suburban home be used to supplement a salary?

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11. What other good purpose may such a home serve in rearing children?
12. In meeting adversity, what are the things that should be sacrificed?
13. What is the first thing Christians should do when they move into a new locality?
14. How may we make friends in a new place?
15. What is the effect of growing things upon the lives of children?
16. Do family treasures and traditions have any effect on spiritual development?
17. Is there comfort in old age in being surrounded by familiar things?
18. How should old people fit into the homes of their children?
19. What is the best use to which a father can put idle or leisure time?
20. Discuss the importance of simple pleasures and recreations for the family.
21. What will assist in the growth of Christ-like personality?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER VI

The Bible.

CHAPTER VII
MIDDLE CHILDHOOD

By this term we mean that period of growth and development between the ages of six and nine, or the first three years of school life.

John and Mary had studied these different periods, in the parent training class of their old home church, but as this time came to their children they gave this period a more careful study. They found some books on child psychology in the city library and they ordered others that would be helpful in the development not only of their mental and physical nature, but of the most important, their Christian personality. They realized that while all good parents have this as their ultimate aim, too many fail to have an immediate aim to control their procedure during each period of growth. They fail to study the possibilities of each, that they may build on the accomplishment of the preceding period and make preparation for the one to follow. John and Mary measured every theory they found by the divine standard, realizing that enthusiastic writers sometimes lead one away from the wisdom of God, the Creator and loving Father of little children, who warns men to be careful lest the little ones be caused to stumble.

Mary and John decided to be watchful and careful that in the school their children's faith in God and His

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Word should not be injured, and that wrong attitudes and habits should not be built into their growing personalities.

Activity

In their study they found that this was a period of action. Admiration would be centered on doers and imitation would naturally follow. Their play yard was large. They put up a large swing and exercise bars. A little room at the side of the garage made a good work room for Jack, and grandfather made a work bench the right height. A few good tools and a stack of scrap lumber from a planing mill supplied occupation for many happy hours each week for Jack and his little friends. Grandfather enclosed a part of a little summer house for Jill's playhouse leaving the front open so Mary could see all the play from the house. He repaired the trellis and together they planted a trumpet vine to cover it so the little girl had a place to play keeping house and a place for outdoor tea parties with her little friends. These provisions made possible, results from activities, and developed the power of thinking out ways to accomplish desired results.

Social Tendencies

At this age children become very much interested in other children of their own age and sex and it is well for parents to provide for this interest where they can guard and guide without over-direction. The over directed or improperly-directed child fails to develop originality and independence or becomes rebellious because of restraint.

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Physical Growth

The child's growth slows up a little at the beginning of this age, perhaps because he develops a new set of teeth, or the change in the daily routine; but he soon begins to grow rapidly again and continues this rapid growth through the period.

Spiritual Training

Since the children are in school Mary must establish a new routine of spiritual development. She decided to use Alice Freeman Palmer's three rules of happiness.

First, "Commit to memory each day something beautiful." So every morning she had selected a beautiful verse from God's Word or from a poem based on truth, and the children learned it as they ate their breakfast and prepared for school.

Second, "Do some kind act every day, for another person." At the lunch hour she would tell the children what she had done, and they would tell her. Sometimes they helped a schoolmate pick up his spilled marbles, books, or pencils; led an old person across the street; divided their recess lunch; or made a crippled, neglected, or backward child happy by playing quietly with him while others raced joyously around the playground. Sometimes Mary helped them with suggestions when it was difficult for them to see things to do. She nurtured their love for their teacher by allowing them to take her gifts of flowers or fruit, a picture, or a growing plant for the school room.

The third rule, "Look at something pretty every day and pause before it long enough to say, `Isn't that beautiful?' " In this way she encouraged their love

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for the beautiful and the habit of close observation, and a joy that every human being may possess, for no matter how poor we are the beauty of nature is all about us. Even in the city, the parks, grounds of public buildings, and those about the houses of the wealthy are free feasts for our eyes. The beauty of architecture, and lighting is on every hand. Animals, birds, and little children at play are all about us. The sky, God's great canvas on which the scene constantly changes is ever over us with varied beauty of sunrise in rosy tints, the clear blue and brilliance of the noon day, the golden glow of sunset, and the star-studded canopy of night. One evening as our little family were driving down a busy street, Mary was talking with a visitor in the car, Jill who had been trying to get some one's attention burst out crying. John said, "What is it, little daughter?" "None of you will look at God's beautiful picture," she sobbed. She was soon comforted by their expressions of pleasure at the magnificent display of color in the western sky.

Table Talk

Stevenson says, "The first duty of man is to speak; that is his chief business in this world; and talk, which is the harmonious speech of two or more, is by far the most accessible of pleasures. It costs nothing in money; it is all profit; it completes our education, founds and fosters our friendships, and can be enjoyed at any age and in almost any stage of health."¹

Realizing that meal time presents an opportunity to children in moral and social culture, Mary prearranged some of the topics of conversation by the plan I have just mentioned. John entered heartily into the plan

¹Table Talk In the Home, Page 5--Abingdon Press,

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and watched all day for bright happy incidents to recite to the family at dinner time.

The children were encouraged to talk and to ask questions. Dr. Scott says, "There is no educational opportunity in the home more important than the talk at table. There are homes in which the very atmosphere makes for wide knowledge of life, for generous aims, for citizenship in the world, as well as in the locality in which the home stands. Teachers in schools and colleges find the widest differences in the range of information and the quality of intelligence of the boys and girls who come from them. Some children bring a store of knowledge and sound tastes with them, there are some who have no cultivation of any sort, are ignorant of everything save the few things they have been compelled to study, and have no personal acquaintance with books or art or nature, or the large affairs of the world. They have absorbed nothing for there has been nothing to absorb."¹

After Thanks had been offered, and each had told of the beauty observed during the day and John told the incidents that he had gathered, he and Mary drifted into conversation concerning the news of the world. Not the robberies, murders, and suicides of the day, but the new discoveries, the great and good deeds of the men and women of the big world; or they would talk of the extension of the kingdom of our Lord. Mary and the grandfather had more time to read the religious papers, and could tell John about the progress of the work. They talked of the work in the foreign fields, so the children grew to know the names and fields of labor of the great servants of God.

The table was pretty with flowers and set with dain-

¹Table Talk in The Home, Pages 6, 7--Abingdon Press.

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tiness and care, as though a guest were expected, and the pleasant conversation helped in training the children in correct courtesy at the table. Jack couldn't bolt his food while listening or talking, so his digestion was aided. Mary remembered, in her effort to train the children to talk well that "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver,"¹ and "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable unto thee, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer."²

The family table and fireside should be centers of the daily life, and since the fireside is almost if not entirely absent, we should cling to the family gathering about the table. Jesus, God's holy Son, the greatest, gentlest host who ever sat at earthly tables, set apart a meal and left it to be kept in his memory by God's family, to show forth his death until he shall come again. We should realize the rich opportunity that the common meal is to each earthly family. Mary and John determined that their table talk should be marked by cheerfulness. This means that none of the worries of shop or petty details of household care be brought to a meal. No one's faults or peculiarities were discussed. No scoldings or disagreeable decisions were to be announced. Forbearance should be cultivated. No complaint of the food. An avoidance of constant comment on that subject should become a habit. A great essayist once said, "The best part of good manners is forbearance, that is not so much graceful ways of doing things as kindly ways of refraining from saying or doing that which is ungentle."³ Chaucer wrote, "Ye stomache and soulle be mightilie

¹Prov. 25:11.

²Ps. 19:14.

³Table Talk in The Home, Page 10.

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blessed whiche hathe wit and cheere at ye tabble."¹ "Good food and sweet laughing conversation are mutual inspirations for a better life,"² wrote Charles Dickens. John and Mary determined that two other ideals should mark their table talk. One, that it be sociable. Each one doing his best whether he felt like it or not, to make meal time pleasant, to forget oneself and to see the good in the others. To be just as sympathetic, cheerful and charming as possible. The other, that the talk be instructive. Too many people think to make conversation pleasant it should be silly and foolish. The home is not a mere playground where dogs and birds and children play together, but an institution of dignity and value in training immortal souls, and its conversation must not be slipshod, vulgar, or empty.

Punctuality

John and Mary decided to develop punctuality and independence without the constant bickering that marks the morning hours in so many homes. John bought an alarm clock for each of the children and they had great fun setting the alarm to wake them in time to do their chores, eat breakfast, and prepare themselves for school. The children took a cool shower or sponge bath, and dressed quickly. They had been taught to brush their teeth after each meal and to wash their hands after each visit to the toilet, and before eating. Their individual towels and toilet articles were conveniently placed. Jack fed and watered the chickens. Jill set the breakfast table and after breakfast there were little tasks for each. The alarm was set

¹Table Talk in The Home, Page 12.

²Table Talk in The Home, Page 13.

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again at the time for them to start. Mary prepared four little jars with twenty-five beans in each. One pair stood on Jill's table, the other on Jack's. One bore Jill's name, the other mother's. Jack's pair carried his name on one and mother's on the other. If they did their chores and dressed on time without being told and scolded, they took a bean from mother's jar and put it in theirs. If they had to be reminded and hurried mother took a bean from the jar of the lazy child and put it in her jar. There was great interest in seeing how these jars came out and John made it more interesting by giving some special pleasure to the child making the best bean record each month.

Relationship of Parent and Teacher

Early in the school life of the children Mary made the acquaintance of their teacher and soon invited her to a meal in their home. When she came the time was made as pleasant as possible for the visitor, by keeping the conversation away from the children and their school work. John and Mary wanted the teacher to be their friend. They wanted her to know their home life and to understand their ideals for their children. Mary visited the school frequently, became a member of the Parent-Teacher's Association and did a generous part in every undertaking that was for the good of school conditions. She did not always agree with some of the members with reference to methods and entertainments and was frank in her opposition. The fact that she was intelligent, generous, helpful, and reasonable made it possible for her to accomplish something by her suggestions of a better way. Her objections were always matters of conscience. She led the parents to assist the teachers, and when they found a

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teacher whose heart was not in her work, who gave her time and strength to the pursuit of questionable pleasures it did not take long to secure her resignation. These parents demanded that the teachers of their children could truthfully say, "I believe in boys and girls --the men and women of a great tomorrow; that whatsoever the boy and the girl of today soweth, that also the man and woman of tomorrow will reap. I believe in the curse of ignorance, in the efficiency of schools, in the dignity of teaching, and in the joy of serving others.

"I believe in wisdom revealed in human lives, as well as in the gages of printed book, in lessons taught, not so much by precept as by example, in the ability to work with the hands as well as to think with the head, in everything that makes life large and wonderful.

"I believe in beauty in the school room, in the home, in daily living, in the great outdoors.

"I believe in laughter, in love, in all ideals and distant hopes that lure us on and up.

"I believe every day we receive a just recompense of reward for all we are and all we do.

"I believe in the present and its opportunities, in the future and its promises, and in the divine joy of living."--(The Teacher's Creed).

Mary planned to be at home when her children came from school each afternoon to pour into her ears the happenings of their day, revealing their conduct and that of their playmates, and giving her an insight into the characters of these other children from whom she knew her children would get so much. And how she hoped they would give only good to others!

Mary knew how much this sympathetic sharing of

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their interests meant to them. All children enjoy and appreciate it. Some of the neighbor children came in as soon after school as they could get there. One little boy, when asked where his mother was, replied, "Gone gambling, she goes nearly every day." Mary said, "Why, Jim, you do not mean what you are saying." "Yes, I do, yesterday she brought a silver vase she won." The mother was a bridge player. So the little boy not only was losing this association with, and sympathy from, his mother but was losing his respect for her.

A little girl older than Mary's children often came for Mary to help her with her home work. "So I can go with Mother and Dad to the movie tonight," was her excuse. Her mother was a business woman so was never at home.

Mary was careful not to be critical, and found some other way than open condemnation to prevent too much association with undesirables. She was ready with praise for good work or grades brought home for her inspection, but if she discovered that her son or daughter had not done their best she helped them to see that our best is always our goal, and not to be satisfied with "better than others." She was careful, too, to be just. If her child's best was not as good as another's she did not discourage her child, for his talent very likely was greater in another field. But the grades in effort and conduct must be of the very best. After this sweet period of confidences the children found a glass of milk with bread and butter, sandwiches, or a generous slice of gingerbread. Perhaps they preferred some fruit. Soon they donned their play clothes and the back yard became the scene of varied activities and answered the question brought to so many mothers, "What can we

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do now?" In the winter when the weather forbade outdoor activities, each child in his little room had a place of his own for his treasures--blackboard, story and scrap books, and indoor toys. So they could entertain their little visitors, each in his own way. The pictures in the children's rooms were hung low enough to he within the child's range of vision. Some of the pictures of "The Good Shepherd," "Jesus Blessing Little Children." and other Bible scenes were so loved they had been brought from the old nursery. The pictures throughout the home were true to the law of beauty in line and color, and true to life in subject, whether of reality or of fancy. The great evil of the comic supplement is the falsity of many of these pictures in all these essentials. Children form their standards from what they are accustomed to instead of what "ought to be." Children need humor but it should be good humor. The kindly pranks and humor of the brownies will result in higher standards than the vindictiveness and smart-Alex conduct of Dorothy Darnit and her kind. Mary and John were so happy they had found this old roomy house that they were making into a real home. They had read of parents who because of a lack of room for play had given over the living room or dining room for this purpose realizing the children were of more importance than visitors or the satisfaction of having their home just like that of others.

The Children's Hour

John and Mary did not give up the children's hour after the evening meal. John read his paper while Mary and the children cleared the table and washed the dishes. Then they gathered in the living room to

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talk to father, or to romp a while with him. In the summer this romp or game was on the grass of their pretty back yard. Then they had their period of family worship and Jack and Jill took a good bath and went to bed.

Affection

The months and years slipped by, but the expressions of love, the terms of endearment, the sweet caresses, were not discarded because the children were growing up. The sleep was sweeter, the waking happier, and the days more joyous because of these things. Love must be cherished, fed and appreciated, that it may rule the life. The individual life may be marked by power, intelligence, faith, and sacrifice but if it is not filled with love God says it is as worthless as sounding brass or clanging cymbal. John and Mary sought ways of developing this, the greatest trait of Christ-like personality. They endeavored by example and guidance to train the childrens' tongues to speak in loving tones and sympathetic terms.

Loving Service

They taught them to give to the poor, the orphan, the sick, or the old, not only food and money but sympathy, time, and services prompted by love. A negro woman who often worked in their home impressed this lesson by telling how she was trying to train her husband in the grace of giving by sending him with a jar of pickles to an old woman and telling him, "Now, Mose, you mustn't be wanting to keep it for yourself for de Lord loves a cheerful giver and He sees your heart"

Mary often sent them with gifts of dainty food or flowers to the sick in the neighborhood. In the Church

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there was a store room and the congregation endeavored to keep its shelves filled with groceries in order that food might be ready for the needy. So Jack and Jill carried their gifts each Sunday for this purpose They each had a little box in which to keep their pennies and later their nickels and dimes which they put aside for their contribution on the Lord's day. They learned to care for their clothes so that when they were outgrown mother could take them to the church to be sent to the orphans. Once when Mary had told Jill to go through her closet and get out her outgrown garments for this purpose Jill wrote a little note, pinned it to a favorite dress saying, "I hope the little girl who gets this dress likes it as well as I do." Sometimes it was difficult to keep these tender hearts from giving away the larger part of their wardrobes. They felt so bad about children without loving parents.

Kindness

They taught the children always to be kind in word and deed even though others were unkind and that they must not be easily provoked, must not "carry a chip on their shoulder," as so many people do; that they should be ready to overlook seeming mistreatment, explaining that so often we do not fully understand. Jack and Jill loved Jesus devotedly and wanted everyone else to know and to love him. Soon after school opened one year Jill brought her new teacher home with her one afternoon and surprised her mother by saying, "This is my teacher. I love her and I want her to know about Jesus so you must tell her."

Jack frequently asked people who were walking by his home if they were Christians and invited them to come to hear "my preacher preach about Jesus."

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The Christian Life the Happy Life

Young people sometimes find it difficult to see that Christian living is complete living, that the pleasures and worldly success of the wicked are of short life, so John and Mary planned to help Jack and Jill over this difficulty by making life joyous and happy and calling attention to the constant downfall and disgrace of those who fail to use their riches rightly, of those who gain riches and power by dishonest means. This lesson was impressed by the good old negro. One morning when she came to work Mary asked if she had heard that the leading negro politician of the city had been sent to the penitentiary. This man, a gambler, held a large part of the negro vote in his hand so had been able to violate the law in many ways. The negro woman said, "Yes, Miss Mary, I done said his time a comin', de Lord ain' gonna let him go on always," and Mary remembered "Be sure your sin will find you out." The children were familiar with the handsome home in which this negro lived and had admired it so often in passing. Now they always said as they passed something about how much happier the man would have been if he had done right.

The Problem of Neighbor Children

With the first summer came the problem of too frequent visits from neighbor children for peace, harmony, and successful child training in the home. Mary was discouraged. She was glad to have other children come, realizing it was best for the happiness and development of her children, but what could she do with so many of all sizes. John told her she must put her wits to work and solve the problem. So after studying the matter over she made a visit to each of the mothers of

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the children who came, and had a talk with them about her family routine. She told them in her plan, the children should help her or play alone in the morning. Then after lunch they were to rest or play quietly until three-thirty. After that she would be glad to have the children of the same age as her children come to play with Jack and Jill until six, when her children must prepare for the evening meal. Occasionally, she allowed Jack and Jill to visit other children at this period. She was very tactful and explained fully how seriously she considered every detail of her task as a mother and knew that each of them wanted the best for their children. These mothers decided to meet together and agree on rules to govern the association of their children. These mothers did not take up children's quarrels, and discouraged the discussion of family affairs among the children.

Of course, things did not always go as well as they should, but the children were happier and this understanding, frankness, and cooperation was a great help during the years in promoting the mental, moral, and physical growth of the children of the neighborhood.

Mary carried a little whistle in her pocket so when she wanted the children she blew the call, agreed on for each child. The other mothers soon did the same and each child knew his mother's whistle and ran much more quickly than to the mother who called first persuasively, then severely, and last angrily. They could not argue back at the whistle. It became a matter of honor with the group to go immediately at the call of the little whistle.

Mary gathered the children together and they made rules to regulate their conduct during these play hours. They typed the rules and posted them on the wall of

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the garage. The children having helped to make the rules were honorable in observing them. If a quarrel arose and was not soon settled, Mary asked all the children to go home. This was as severe a punishment to Jack and Jill as to the visitors for they loved to play with other children more than anything else they did.

Wild grapes grew in abundance in the nearby river valley so Mary canned gallons of grape juice each year so the children could have a festive drink with simple cookies for their playmates once or twice a week.

The Parents' Social Life

Mary and John soon drew about them, as they had done in their first home, a group of young married people and the pleasant interchange of social courtesies, the outings together, birthday and holiday celebrations, added much to their pleasure and good. This also increased their opportunities for using their influence for Jesus or perhaps I should say of "Letting their light shine."

Securing the Blessing of the Influence of Good People

When John and Mary had visitors they did not rush the children out of the way but had them meet the visitors, chat with them a while, then excused them or allowed them to sit by quietly listening. They treated the children as distinct personalities but did not allow them to monopolize the attention. They were careful to have the children well acquainted with the preacher, the elders, and teachers in the church by having them as frequent visitors in the home, and by taking them with them to visit. Mary remembered hearing a conversation between her mother and a very charming Christian mother who was in extremely poor health at the time. Brother W. D. Campbell was hold-

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ing a meeting with their congregation and thy ladies were planning his dinner engagements, inviting both Brother Campbell and the local preacher. This good mother asked for a day. Some of the ladies remonstrated with her, saying that it would be too much for her. "No, I will manage," she replied, "and you may not understand. It is not just a matter of my pleasure. I have three sons and I want every contact I can arrange for my boys with good people. If I am sick from it I will count it of far more value than my well being." Mary had watched these boys grow into fine good men in spite of the influence of a negligent father. So Mary followed her wise example. John and Mary were careful never to criticize the faults of the preacher or the sermon (though often they deserved it) in the children's presence. If they could not praise the sermon honestly, they found something in the service that did them good and talked about it, thus nurturing a love for the service in the house of God. They could say, and they wanted their children to say, from their hearts, as David did, "I was glad when they said unto me, let us go up to the house of God." John remembered his grandfather who was almost a perfect example in this respect, not allowing even a death in the family to keep him away. In his old age he would wake from a week of delirium saying, "This is the Lord's day, daughter. Make out the check for my contribution and take it. I can't go today and if ever I am unconscious on this day, remember to do this for me."

Bible School Lessons

The children loved their Bible school lesson and had a regular time to finish its preparation. Mary studied

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it early in the week and used some of it in the daily memory work through the week, and helped the children to bring the lesson into their everyday lives. When the Lord's day came the children were well prepared for the lesson.

Jack and Jill were delighted when they could read for themselves; and devoured Bible stories, nature stories, and stories from the lives of children of their age. The Parents' class in the church started a library for the benefit of the children, securing lists of suitable books from capable teachers. Soon they added a number of books on child nature and child nurture. Thus the influence of John and Mary and their example in endeavoring to conduct their home and rear their children as God would have them began to spread to other homes.

Truth Telling

During the pre-school period of the life of Jack and Jill, their parents had been careful to begin their training in truth-telling and honesty, but they realized that this must be continued all through their growth. They remembered that among things hated by Jehovah are lying lips but those that deal truly are his delight. Ella Lyman Abbot says, "Truth speaking is not a recipe for making life easy, but for making it worthwhile."¹ Our young parents knew that the habits of exaggeration, of telling things just a little more favorable of a friend or unfavorable of one not liked so well, of slipping out of responsibility by failing to tell the truth are so easily formed and are the most difficult to overcome. They studied this problem very diligently.

¹Truth Telling and the Problem of Children's Lies, Forbush, Page 5 --Abingdon Press.

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They read from Richter that "During the first five years children say neither what is true nor what is false--they merely talk. Their talking is thinking out loud. Further, at first they find great pleasure in exercising their new art of speech and so they often talk nonsense only for the sake of hearing their new acquisitions in language."¹ So the child simply repeats facts and fancies, what he hears or supposes, without reserve. He does not know the true from the false. Someone will say, "But I told him." Do you know he understands the words you used? He often uses words he does not understand. Some children are not as eager as Jack to understand. He would hear a new word. Immediately he would repeat it again and again, softly, under his breath. You could see how his little mind was adding it to his vocabulary. In a short time he would find his mother or father and ask, "What means---------------," the new word he had learned.

Occasionally, to give Mary a change and the children training in eating in a public eating place, John would take them for a meal in a downtown cafe. One day he told Mary that the cafe they patronized had "gone busted." Jill overheard the conversation but did not ask any questions; but the next time they stopped the car near this building, she ran immediately to it, looked it over carefully, and returned saying, "Why, Father, you said it was busted and there isn't even a crack in it but the folks and furniture are all gone." It is of great importance that they see and hear correctly and that we use correct expressions. The natural mind believes whatever it thinks, so, our first task is to help the child to learn to see the truth, to distinguish between thoughts or wishes, and facts. Teach him that

¹Truth Telling and the Problem of Children's Lies, Page 5.

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truth is important and sacred, far more so than any personal consideration.

Lies of Imagination.

Some children are full of fancies and you do not want to injure the imagination; for it is an important factor in holding the feet of youth to the path of preparation, of difficulty and hardship so he will climb to the heights he is capable of attaining. Still one must not let a vivid imagination grow into a habit of lying.

Jack often came in with wonderful stories of impossible things. Mary listened to his stories, then, would say, "Perhaps you will write stories some day, Jack. Come and tell me slowly so I can write it down." So she would sit down at her typewriter and start in taking it down, showing the child she understood it was fiction. If he endeavored to add to or embellish something that had really happened, she would ask him to start over and think hard and tell it just as it was.

Lies of Vanity

Once Mary heard Jill telling of her grandmother's home and her desire to make a big impression on her playmate made her enlarge on the size, beauty, and luxury of this home. After the little visitor had gone this careful mother called the little girl and patiently talked to her about the wrong of telling untruths, asking her how she would like for her little friend to motor through the country and stopping at the grandmother's for a drink, see how far from the truth her statements were. She also told her she must look down in her heart and see that she had put an ugly stain there, that she must correct the untruths, else the stain would stay. A few days later the same little girl returned

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to play and she heard Jill say, "I love my grandmother and I think her home is just beautiful. I love to go there so much but it isn't fine like I told you the other day." Mary noticed Jill was happier after that than she had been for several days. When the little visitor was gone she called Jill and told her how brave she had been to correct her statement and together they slipped into Jill's little room and on their knees they asked the Father's forgiveness and Mary thanked him for the bravery and repentance of her little child. "Is the dirty stain gone, dear?" The "Yes, darling," closed the incident. Other members of the family knew nothing of it.

Lies of Fear

Harsh, unkind, and severe parents cause many children to lie from fear of rebuke, contempt, or punishment. The lie pops out before the child realizes it, just as we unconsciously throw up our hands to ward off a blow because we are born with the tendency of self-protection.

John and Mary had no trouble with this kind of lying but the opposite extreme brought some trouble. The children loved their parents so much they hated so to disappoint them that a few times this led to untruths with reference to school work.

Lies to Please

Parents, often in their desire to please, to be true to custom, convention, or hospitality present to their children examples of untruthfulness that result in the children becoming addicted to flattery, and the use of superlatives until there are no words left to describe things really magnificent, gorgeous, delicious, or splen-

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did. John and Mary taught their children to be honest and temperate in speech rather than tell untruths to please.

Lies to Protect Others

The odium attached to tale bearing and the loyalty to playmates often leads a child to lie to protect another. Teachers and parents should avoid making it seem necessary. Sometimes it becomes necessary for one child to tell a parent about the conduct of another. Jack was more easily influenced than Jill. Jill saw that he was associating with some of the bad boys of the school. The little girl loved Jack so dearly she didn't want to tell their mother and so she talked to him about it first, but Jack said she was too bossy. Several days passed. One day Jack went off with the boys during the afternoon session of school. He was careful to return home with the other children at the usual time. Jack was very indignant because Jill told her mother but Mary made him see Jill had done just the right thing and later when these boys were arrested for breaking windows in a vacant house Jill was justified. John and Mary made truthfulness a subject of talk at the table, and with stories and illustrations showed that those who were untruthful were never trusted and grew up to be men and women who could not be depended on for anything. They were careful to keep their promises to the children and to all others. Some people in the neighborhood bought a car, made a small payment and used it a while, deciding they would rather have another car which they could buy, they had the company come and get the car not considering their promise or trade at all. The children of the neighborhood knew all about it as the children

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of the family repeated what the parents had said in their presence. Jack and Jill were quick to see the wrong in the conduct.

Correction and Punishment

Ellen Key says, "After all there are only two kinds of lies, cold lies and hot lies. Cold lies are fully conscious untruths and should be punished. Hot lies are the expression of an excited temperament or vigorous fancy and should be corrected but not punished."¹

A cold lie is told to gain some advantage to which one has no right or to protect one's self against the bad consequences of something one has done; so is cowardly. Fear and desire are the two elements that lead to untruthfulness. Lies of fear, laziness and vanity, those intended to give pleasures or to protect others or caused by various desires are cold lies. We have considered to some extent the correction or cure of both kinds. Parents should never pass over a cold lie. The consequences are dangerous to the soul of the child.

We should seek to instill in the personality motives for truth. The lowest is that truth pays. A liar loses his good reputation and is distrusted and despised. Then one lie leads to another so the liar is soon in a network that is hard to untangle. The habit grows until all his statements are inaccurate or exaggerated.

The liar is doubted when he tells the truth. One does not know when to believe him. (The story of the shepherd boy in Aesop's Fables.)

We must teach our children it is worse to go back on oneself than to go back on a friend. If a friend has done wrong it is better for him to suffer the pun-

¹Truth Telling and the Problem of Children's Lies, Page 13

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ishment. We will not really help him by being a liar.

We must build in the child a contempt for lying, and admiration for those who tell the truth, no matter what the consequences. They are strong.

A Truth Loving Home

The home of our little family was a truth loving home. Promises were kept, questions were answered truthfully. Santa Claus was explained in a beautiful way so the children lost none of the pleasure of Christmas and were not led like one sad little boy to say, "I have found out there is no Santa Claus, when I get older I will find out there is no God."

Training the Aesthetic Nature

Before the children were nine Mary found a way to provide piano lessons for Jill and violin lessons for Jack. A good piano teacher moved into the neighborhood. She had a little girl about Jill's age. Mary and Jill soon made friends with them. Mary had studied drawing and painting in her girlhood and did very good work. This new neighbor noticed her pictures and expressed a desire for Joan, her little girl, to have lessons. Mary was quick to see her opportunity to exchange work. So Joan and Jill were soon both having lessons in drawing and piano. The violin teacher in the school had an apartment near and suggested that she pay Mary for milk and butter with violin lessons for Jack. So Mary looked forward to the time Jack and Jill would play together and make the good music themselves, which they had been taught to love. Children love to please or entertain others, so Mary realized she would not have the problem a dear old lady friend had had with a granddaughter she was rearing.

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This little girl came to her grandmother with the request that she be given dancing lessons. The grandmother told her she did not want her to dance and asked why she had this desire. "Well, grandmother, the teacher puts only the children who can dance on the programs." "Well, you can't do it," was her reply and thought the matter settled but in a short time she noticed the child was losing weight and she was very hungry when she came home in the afternoon. Upon investigation she found the child was using her lunch money to pay another child to teach her to dance.

The grandmother went to the preacher's wife for advice. This woman found the child's motive and advised the grandmother to have the child trained to read or to play the piano so she could have a part in the public entertainments. The little girl grew to be quite a musician and a lovely Christian character.

The years passed rapidly and the period of middle childhood drew to a close. John and Mary made a careful study of the children to determine the progress they had made in the development of Christ-like personality. They studied their chart to be sure they were not overlooking some important trait. They found while the same training had resulted similarly in a comparative number that the inherited dispositions being different one child was more advanced in some traits than the other. They planned to help Jack to be independent, to decide the right course and stick to it. Jill was more selfish and bossy so they determined to overcome these tendencies.

Understanding that the ideals, desires, and beliefs of the mind determine the character of an individual, Mary and John had endeavored to surround, teach and nurture their children into right thinking. They had

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learned that God through Paul had given this fitting admonition, "Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things."¹ In this home as God would have it, the thinking was of things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and of good report.

The children were usually well, but John and Mary had them examined by a competent physician and their teeth examined by a good dentist, twice a year. Sometimes a little change of diet was necessary, a little medicine, or change in their routine but by this careful attention they grew normally. Their mental work was supervised in every way so they grew in wisdom; and the careful painstaking spiritual training was causing them to grow in Christian personality, 'in favor with God and man."

OUR HOUSE

We play at our house and have all sorts of fun,
An' there's always a game when the supper is done;
An' at our house there's marks on the walls an' the stairs,
An' some terrible scratches on some of the chairs;
An' ma says that our house is really a fright,
But pa and I say that our house is all right.

At our house we laugh an' we sing an' we shout,
An' whirl all the chairs an' the tables about.
An' I rassle my pa an' I get him down too,
An' he's all out of breath when the fightin' is through;
An' ma says that our house is surely a sight.
But pa an' I say that our house is all right.

¹Philippians 4:8.

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I've been to houses with pa where I had
To sit in a chair like a good little lad.
An' there wasn't a mark on the walls an' the chairs
An' the stuff that we have couldn't come up to theirs
An' pa said to me that for all of their joy
He wouldn't change places an' give up his boy.

They never have races nor rassles nor fights.
Coz they have no children to play with at nights;
An' their walls are all clean an' their curtains hang straight,
An' everything's shiny an' right up to date.
But pa says with all of its racket an' fuss,
He'd rather by far live at our house with us.
--By Edgar A. Guest, "The Path to Home."

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER VII

1. When parents have as their ultimate aim the development of Christian personality, why is it important to have immediate aims for each period of growth?
2. By what should we measure every theory advanced by writers or teachers in this field?
3. Discuss the physical tendencies and interests of children during middle childhood.
4. Why is association with children of their own age important?
5. How may the parents give the spiritual training necessary after the children are in school?
6. What are Alice Palmer's three rules of happiness?
7. Discuss table talk in the home as God would have it.
8. What of the importance of training in punctuality without nagging?
9. Discuss the relationship between parents and teacher and the parents' responsibility in providing good teachers and school surroundings.
10. What of the importance of the mother being at home when the children return from school?
11. What of the influence of pictures on the standards of children?

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12. Discuss the children's hour. Have someone read Longfellow's poem.¹
13. What of affection and the expression of terms of endearment on the disposition?
14. How may the foundations of lives of loving service be laid?
15. Which stories from the life of Christ would you use to teach kindness?
16. What is the happiest life? Is it important to help children to see this by showing them the results of evil?
17. Discuss the problem of playmates.
18. What of the importance of a measure of social life for parents?
19. What of the importance of securing contacts for our children with good people?
20. How may the parents kill the good the church can give our children and how make everything work to cause them to love to go to church?
21. How should parents help Bible school teachers?
22. Discuss the question of training children in truth-telling and honesty.
23. Name and discuss the five kinds of lies, their correction or punishment.
24. Why instill right motives?
25. What of the effect of a truth-loving home?
26. What is the good in the study of music, art and expression in the life of the child?
27. Is it wise to put all children through just the same training or should parents take an inventory of the progress and give intensive training where needed?
28. What determines the character of an Individual?
29. How may we nurture children into right thinking?
30. Quote God's word on this point.
31. Of what importance to spiritual growth is physical health?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER VII

The Bible.
The Church and The Children, Chapter III, Miss Orlena Dren-

¹The Children's Hour.

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nan. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.
The following booklets are especially practical and helpful:
Table Talk in the Home by The Literary Staff of the American Institution of Child Life. 15 cents.
Truth Telling and the Problem of Children's Lies, William Forbush. 20 cents.
The Government of Children Between Six and Twelve. William B. Forbush. 25 cents.
Sex Discipline for Boys in the Home. William B. Forbush. 15 cents.
The Problems of Fighting, by the Educational Staff of the American Institute of Child Life. Published by Abingdon Press, Cincinnati, Ohio. 15 cents.

CHAPTER VIII
LATER CHILDHOOD

By this term is meant that period of the child's life between the ages of nine and twelve years. The growth slows up but it is usually a very healthy period, and if the child is given an abundance of plain simple food, physical exercise, and good sound sleep, he will be prepared for the rapid growth of the period to follow, early adolescence.

In the same manner must the mental, moral, and spiritual nature be fed, exercised, and nurtured, if the mind and soul of the child are to stand the storm of adolescence and continue their growth in Christ-likeness.

Tendencies, Interests, Possibilities, and Needs

We must understand the tendencies, interests, possibilities and needs peculiar to this period to be able to formulate the special aims and to plan for their accomplishment.

The tendencies of all human beings come from the physical needs, and so the interest centers in providing food, drink, shelter, and physical comfort. Then we have the desires for physical activity, emotional experiences, and the gratification of the sexual impulses. We have others produced by social contacts, imitation, rivalry, the desire to mingle with our fellows

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in a way to merit their approval, and so to assert ourselves, as to win a measure of success. We will find all these basic tendencies in the child of this period, but we will consider those which are more pronounced in order that we may work with nature and profit by the natural interests.

Rivalry

Physical activity continues to have a strong appeal, even stronger than ever before. The boy's desire is to outstrip all his playmates, to swing, or climb the highest, jump the farthest, make the largest kite, run the fastest, and to have the largest and strongest muscles. The girls are not very different. They skate, jump the rope, run races, play jacks, on and on with just as great enthusiasm.

Teasing

They love to tease and are often cruel in their teasing of the weak and timid among their playmates.

Curiosity

They tear things up in order to find how they are made and quite often are able to put them back together so they work perfectly.

Change

The latter part of this period is marked by a change from the individualism of early and middle childhood to a period of social activity. The sexes separate. The boys go in gangs, and the girls form clubs. John and Mary were prepared by their study for these experiences.

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Provision for Activities

Realizing the good that comes from games John and Mary arranged for Jack to have room for a playground for his little group. The garden, flowers, and chickens continued to provide tasks on which to expend much physical energy. The parents gradually put more and more responsibility on the children in regard to these things. Jill and her chums were in friendly rivalry in producing the most perfect violets, hyacinths and tulips in the spring, zinnias and dahlias in midsummer, and chrysanthemums in the autumn. Jack worked to make the prettiest bird houses, window box and yard ornaments, to be first with his garden. Grandfather had always been a prize winning gardener; so he filled Jack with enthusiasm, guided, and helped him so that he succeeded often enough to keep him interested. Grandfather did not care so much for the flowers so John gave Jill his help.

A Father's Part

John realized that the children from now on would need more and more his careful attention and association, so he planned for the next fifteen years to devote all the time possible to their interests. Later in life when they were gone from the home into homes of their own he looked back on those fifteen years with gratitude for what he had been able to give to the children, and for the joy that came to him during that time. He knew how to pitch, catch, and bat. He showed the boys how to play the several forms of sandlot baseball that have developed around the "American national game." He also taught them "touch and pass" football, soccer, and volley ball. Jack's respect for his

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father grew with each success he was able to win on the school grounds, and the comradeship that grew up between them gave John the opportunity to teach the boy to play fair, to take punishment without whining, to control his temper, to lose the game bravely, yet to do his best to the very end. This is self-control, So many people see only physical exercise in the games on the school campus and at home.

Mother's Sympathy

Mary was just as wise and careful to give Jill all the enthusiastic sympathy and help in her activities.

Mental Activity

This is a period of mental as well as physical activity. The memory is especially active, the reasoning faculty developing later. Children of this age desire true stories, especially those of heroic type and devour books of physical achievements. Jack was very positive during this period in rejection of fairy tales. "Give me something to read that's so," was his demand.

Books

Mary and John supplied Jack and Jill with plenty of books of the right type but they did not allow too much reading. Some children will neglect their regular lessons and girls will become dreamy and live with the heroines of the stories they are reading.

Immunization

They took advantage of this period of active memories to get the children to store more and more of God's word in their minds. They remembered the words of David, "Thy word have I hid in my heart

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that I might not sin against thee." They had been careful to immunize the children against every disease possible, and they learned from this text that a heart filled with God's word is immunized against the power of the evil one. They remembered that Jesus answered every temptation with, "It is written," and a quotation from this sacred word.

Control

John and Mary were kind but very positive with their children. Boys and girls of this age admire power and authority. They have no respect for the one who is unable to control them. They see through every counterfeit and so honesty, justice, and authority are needed. At this age they dislike affection and demonstrativeness, shying away from the hugs and kisses of earlier years. They want to bow and shake hands like grown people.

Possibilities

Parents should continue their efforts to strengthen right thinking, and also habits of right feeling and living, for this is a habit-forming age. In teaching them the Bible we should fit the material to their needs and possibilities. They do not get abstract principles; but they do get facts easily; and since courage, power, and knowledge appeal to them, character studies from the heroic men and women of the Bible, presented to them in that light, will appeal to them. Abraham leaving his home and his country to face the danger of life in a new land, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Joshua, Caleb, Samuel, David, John the Baptist condemning the sin of the king on his throne, Jesus, a strong man, handling heavy carpenter's tools, walking all over Palestine,

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teaching people to be just, fair, and merciful, driving thieves out of God's house, condemning the hypocrites even when they were in power, enduring the cross, not. because he did not have power but because it was God's will, Paul in his trials and shipwrecks, and many more. There is a wealth of heroic material in God's Word, heroic women who were true to their faith and active, doing things to honor their Lord. Then they should be guided in applying these lessons to their own lives in home, in school, and on the playground. We must help the child to see God in his power as creative ruler and preserver, and also as the loving Father who seeks only good for his child.

Aims

Sewell and Speck in "The Church and Her Ideal Educational Situation" give the following catalogue of the aims of the church in educating children of later childhood:

"(1) To get an understanding acceptance of Jesus as Savior and example; (2) To learn much scripture and to appreciate it more as God's Word; (3) To continue to strengthen his faith, love and trust; (4) To increase obedience; (5) To establish thoroughly the spirit of reverence and worship; (6) To form proper habits; (7) To see the knowledge, power and courage of Jesus and his disciples; (8) To form habits of regular church attendance; (9) To establish the habit of regular private prayer; (10) To form habits of helpfulness to the poor, old, sick and otherwise unfortunate; (11) To enter proper social and recreational activities; (12) To form good tastes and habits in reading." As you have received the picture of the life in this home as God would have it I think you have

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seen that these have been the aims of John and Mary, and the training they had given the children from babyhood prevented much of the trouble parents usually have with children of this age.

Thrift

The command of the apostle Paul to the Christians in Thessalonica to work with their own hands that they might be respected by those outside of the church and in order that all of their needs might be supplied,¹ and to the Ephesian Christians, "let him labor, working with his hands the thing that is good, that he may have wherewith to give to the poor,"² teaches thrift very clearly and strongly.

Our young parents, as they studied the characteristics of Christian personality, these words from the Guide Book, and their efforts in training Jack and Jill, found that, while they had endeavored to develop energy and industry, they had not yet given any direct training in thrift. An individual cannot be ready for extra expenses and emergencies for himself and his family even though he is energetic and industrious if he uses all he makes as fast as he makes it. Neither can he have anything to help in the Lord's work of caring for the poor and in preaching the gospel. Thrift, like all other virtues, does not develop overnight. It must come as a result of example, Instruction and exercise, planned experiences through which the child is guided in such a way as to develop the virtue.

William Gladstone speaking of the value of thrift said, "Cultivate self help; do not seek nor like to be dependent upon others for what you can yourself sup-

¹Thessalonians 4:11, 12.

²Ephesians 4:28.

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ply; and keep down as much as you can the standard of your wants, for in this lies a great secret of manliness, true wealth and happiness, as on the other hand, the multitude of our wants makes us effeminate and slavish as well as selfish." Theodore Roosevelt said, "Extravagance rots character; train your youth away from it." On the other hand, the habit of saving money, while it stiffens the will, also brightens the energies. John Wesley gave this advice, "Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can."

Wastefulness

The American people are deplorably wasteful and improvident. A physician in the work of the Food Administration wrote in 1918 that he was amazed at the waste of well-to-do people. They counted in fifteen garbage pails no less than five whole loaves of bread, half and quarter loaves, cooked meat and vegetables in quantities that seem incredible. It is said that in each truck load of garbage in New York City there is fifty dollars worth of usable material. In individual cans it runs from two per cent in the poorer districts to eleven per cent in the wealthy ones. One billion dollars was substantially the amount of money required before the war to run all the departments of the government of the United States annually. At that time we were importing $2,600,000 worth of old rags, metal and rubber. During the last year of the war our government salvaged $1,500,000,000 from junk; enough to run our government as it was before the war and to give every man, woman and child five dollars. The waste in materials other than food was seven billion; and Mr. Hoover said another seven billion was wasted annually in American kitchens.

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Another evidence of our happy-go-lucky tendencies is the lack of thrift in providing for old age. In 1921 it was said 85 per cent of the American people were living with nothing between them and actual want but the daily wages. How much larger the per cent is today it is hard to say. At that date it was estimated that 66 out of every one hundred people die without estate and 88 without income-producing assets. Life insurance actuaries have estimated that of every 100 people who live to be twenty-five, sixty-four live to the age of sixty-five. Of this number 1 is rich, 4 are well-to-do, 6 are self-supporting, though compelled to work for a living, and 53 are dependent on children or others. Eleanor Larrison says, "Americans have done many fine things, but they have not learned how to save. They have many virtues but they lack these homely fundamental ones of economy and providence." It is true for many a family, that, from waste in the kitchen, in the gasoline tank, from the little sums spent for foolish joys, gratification of the appetite or pride, a child's education might have been secured, a rainy day shelter provided or old age made secure.

Children growing up in such an atmosphere of waste and reckless spending are doubly in need of parental guidance regarding the use of money, time, and talents.

In this home which we are studying, the atmosphere has been different. John and Mary were energetic, industrious, and thrifty. They had learned from our Lord, "Gather up the fragments that nothing be lost." As we have seen the fragments of food from the table, vegetables, and fruit from garden and orchard, clippings from the lawn, weeds and grass from every part

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of the lot were eaten by the chickens and the cow. Clothing was made over and mended. If it was outgrown but could still be used it was given to others. The children had part in all these experiences in saving, but there is more to thrift than elimination of waste. As we have seen they added to John's salary from every source possible. Thrift in money is efficient earning, wise spending, systematic saving, and secure investing. It is getting the most for one's money, for his time, and for his strength. It is good management, and results in purposefulness, patience, industry, and self-control.

Handling Money

Jack and Jill had heard the discussions relative to value and had part in the selection and purchase of many things in and about the home. But John knew that we learn to do by doing, during this period of later childhood he gave the children a small allowance each week, and to it they added what they could earn. He gave each a little account book and taught them how to keep account of their income and expenses. They brought their books to him each Saturday night and they talked over the spending. The children learned how to dispose of junk, so kept the place clear of that. They each had a little garden and their income in the early spring from Swiss chard, carrots and beets added quite a bit to their savings. They were not paid for the regular tasks about the home; for they had grown up with the understanding and feeling that it was their home; and each of the family, through love for each other, did his part to make all comfortable and happy. There were some tasks, however, which Mary had paid outsiders for doing, that as the children's desire to earn

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grew, they asked, and were allowed to do, and were paid the usual price.

John and Mary are not spenders, who must have ice cream or a cold drink, chewing gum, or candy every time they pass a drug store; every new novelty in neckties, collars, belts or accessories they see in the show windows; every ornamental vase, bowl, or decoration for the home, until the house looks like a curio shop. so the children had not acquired this habit. Mary had provided the sweets and fruits that were best for them at home. She and John were not harassed by "give me a nickel, give me a dime, buy this or that for me," every time they took them out anywhere. They did not start it, so they were free from the worry and the undesirable results.

Our young parents provided Jack and Jill with stories of thrift as exhibited in nature and in the lives of great men of the past. Jack learned to resist the desire to spend small sums that he might save to buy the saw he needed in his shop. Jill cultivated self-control by saving to buy a stool she wanted for her room, or a purse, or some toilet article. They saved to buy their Christmas presents and to make their contributions to the church.

The Love of Money

John and Mary gave much thought and attention to this subject to keep the right balance. They remembered that Jesus always placed emphasis on a moan's relation to his money. Of his thirty-eight parables, sixteen are on his theme. Zaccheus's attitude towards money changed when he accepted Jesus. The rich young ruler turned from the Master because of the love of money. To so teach children that they will grow

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to be thrifty yet generous, and to know that there are many other things in life of more value than money, in the accumulation of which one must exercise thrift, is an important part of their training.

The uses men make of their money are tests of character. Lives are wrought out of desires, so we should teach our children to desire only those things that are good.

The Tobacco Evil

A very destructive agency in the life of American youth today is the tobacco habit. It has been the greatest vice among grown men for years and years; but now many women, boys, and girls are endeavoring to keep pace with the men in this vice that destroys body, soul, and spirit. In 1921 it was said that the cigarettes consumed each year, if laid end to end would reach all the way to the moon and back. Now fifteen years later I am sure several lines could be completed.

Wastes Wealth

The National Hygiene League, with Charles W. Eliot at its head, asserted at that date our annual tobacco bill was $1,200,000,000.

Injures Health

All this money is spent for something which injures the individual who uses it and which is unpleasant and often disgusting to those who have to breathe its fumes.

Habit Formed in Youth

Ninety-five per cent of tobacco users learn the habit in their early teens and are never able to quit it, and ninety per cent of those who live to maturity without

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learning it never take it up, so it is vastly important that children be so taught and nurtured that they will abhor it.

All sensible people whether they use it or not know that it is injurious to the growing boy and girl.

Injures the Intellect

Wm. A. McKeever in his excellent book, Training the Boy, says, "I have made a study of 2500 boys and college youths who were addicted to the tobacco using habit and have found among other things that they rank 10 to 25 per cent below the general average in their studies; that they tend to lose interest in their school and drop out much earlier than the non-users; that they are as a rule sufferers from one to a half dozen such ailments as chronic sore throat, sore eyes, weak lungs, heart palpitation; that they are weak in moral stamina and self-reliance; that they are especially found wanting in carrying forward any undertaking in behalf of the common welfare; that their chances for successful employment in a large number of business institutions are either much lessened or entirely shut off." All of these things are true with reference to the girl as well as the boy, and to a greater degree, for a girl's nervous system is more easily wrecked than that of the boy.

Unfits Girls for Motherhood

It unfits women for motherhood. It is said by good authorities in the Medical World that sixty per cent of the babies of cigarette-smoking mothers die before they are two years old.

The Japanese people enacted a law prohibiting the use of tobacco by those under twenty-one; and in our

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own fair land, where this habit originated with the savage Indians, the state of Kansas has a law of this nature. It is not an easy fight, for all about the children everywhere they go, men, women, boys and girls, are puffing away.

The Enemy is Powerful

The tobacco growing interests are organized in powerful trusts friendly to those who look after interests in the law-making bodies of our lands. Their advertisements on billboard, in magazines, and newspapers, their radio programs are all planned to allure and attract the youth to form the habit, and to stop the opposition of those who profit from the advertising

Family Honor

Our young parents were reared in homes where tobacco was never used, but they did not let this close their eyes to the danger to Jack and Jill. The power of example is a powerful factor and the children, noting the fact that father and grandfather did not chew or smoke, had early asked why; and the parents were given an early opportunity to lay the foundation against it. John and Mary too were proud of the record of their families in this respect and talked of it often before their children. John said his experience was much like that of former president Walter S. Athearn of Butler University. Dr. Athearn said his father, talking with his mother in the presence of his son, had said no Athearn in the history of the family had ever used the dirty weed, and he hoped their son would not dishonor the family. Dr. Athearn said in his early teens some of his associates endeavored first to persuade him to chew some tobacco, and, when

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he refused; they threw him down and rubbed a piece over his mouth until they cut the skin; but he said with pride, "They didn't get it between my teeth, and while they had me down I could see a line of Athearns on back and back, clear back to Adam, whose honor I could not betray." John was teaching the junior class in Bible school; and, being interested in the other children of the same age as Jack and Jill, he had a doctor member of the church to talk to the class about the evils of the habit. The doctor showed them charts depicting the immediate effect of nicotine on the heart and the brain. He told them how those addicted to the habit could not survive in the fight against pneumonia, tuberculosis, and other serious diseases.

John and Mary were careful of their children's associates, and as they had made home so pleasant and their lives were so supervised there was little chance for them to form the habit.

Appeal to Ambition

They talked often with the children about this and other evils showing them their desire above everything else to make of them, not an ordinary man and woman, but a young man and a young woman who could lead their classes, win in athletics, oratory, and the arts and sciences, such as could get good places to work and have more money to spend on themselves and others. They showed them the report given out by Luther Prescott Hubbard, then of 96 Wall Street, New York. Mr. Hubbard began chewing at the age of twelve. Then he smoked. Later in his effort to live a Christian life he decided to lay by his earnings in an amount equal to what he was spending for cigars, and quit. He said, "My smoking was moderate compared to many.

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I smoked six cigars a day at 6 1/4 cents each, equal to $136.50 each year, which at 7 per cent interest for sixty-one years amounts to the small fortune of $118,924.26." "This," he said, "had afforded means for the education of my children with an appropriate allowance for benevolent objects." He adds, "Great as this saving has been, it is not to be compared with improved health, a clear head, and steady hand, at the age of over eighty-four years and entire freedom from desire for tobacco in any form."

John and his assistant in the Bible school purchased an old discarded street car and, securing the cooperation of the parents of the children of their Bible class, moved it to a good location on a nearby stream making of it a good shelter during the outings he and the boys frequently enjoyed. These teachers won the love and admiration of their class in these close contacts and were able to get over many fine lessons of purity, fairness, truthfulness, honesty, and independence in the informal discussions around the camp fire at night, after the day of fishing and fun was over.

In their Bible school work they were beginning to train them in leadership, and every few months the minister asked them to conduct the Wednesday night service. These teachers with care studied each boy and gave him a part and helped him to succeed. They realized in training children that being sure of a measure of success means much to their future efforts.

The teachers of the junior girls were equally interested and efficient. Towards the twelfth year children develop the desire for gangs and clubs, so among the boys this camp in the woods filled a real need. The girls' class became interested in cooking and sewing, making doll clothes, and scrapbooks for the orphan

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homes. In the summer the girls learned to make jams and jelly, and prepared a nice box of several dozen glasses to send to the orphan home for the children when they were sick. The group spent a few days together visiting, in the country. Once Jill took the class to visit her grandmother, and they had a good time.

Becoming Christians

These children had learned about God and about Jesus from their babyhood, so their hearts were filled with love for God, and a desire to obey his commands. They were now beginning to reason. They knew right from wrong, and their little sins weighed on their tender consciences. They had learned that God required boys of Israel to obey his commands at the age of twelve. They had early learned that Jesus when just a lad of twelve said, "I must be about my Father's business," or "Know you not that I must be in my Father's house," when his mother after searching for him found him discussing God's law with the teachers in the Temple. Jack and Jill told their parents they wanted to become Christians. The parents were careful to see that they were not moved by any motive but that of love and desire to obey their Lord, and talked with them seriously but gladly about what it means to give one's self to God. Mary and John were very, very happy to see them buried with the Lord in baptism and resolved anew to guard and guide these precious souls into lives of service for the Master.

The Christian Life

They had been reared to regular church attendance to giving, but they were proud of their contribu-

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tion envelopes and were just as careful as grown Christians should be to make up for their absence if kept away by sickness. John and Mary taught them carefully about the meaning of the Lord's supper; how we must approach it with deep reverence and awe, with our hearts centered on it, so as to discern the Lord's body; to do it in loving memory of Jesus who died for us; and to show to the world our faith in his death for the sins of all people. They shielded them from temptation to do as so many children do, whisper, read, or giggle, and to be unfit to partake of the supper. During all the period of later childhood they had not been allowed to read during the service. They sang, prayed, and listened and were able at the dinner table to tell something they had gotten from the sermon. John was careful to give the same teaching to other members of his Bible school class for many children do not have this training in their homes. Elders often overlook this duty.

Sharing the Home

"I was a stranger and you took me in." A few years after the birth of Jack and Jill, Mary had a serious spell of sickness and the physician told them that she would not bear any more children. Our young parents resolved then that they would adopt another child. Adversity and sorrow came and they had delayed doing it. They felt it was their duty to rear more than their own two and knew it would be a wonderful experience in the development of Jack and Jill. They talked it over with the children and put in an application at an orphans' home. They did not have long to wait. A little girl baby with big brown eyes, and with

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curls all over her head, had been left on a doorstep, and had been turned over to the orphans' home. John and Mary had the child given a thorough physical examination and as she was all right they took her into their home to love and rear as their own. Jack and Jill were delighted and Mary soon saw that both of them would be softened and sweetened by the service they would give this helpless little one. She thought too of the preparation for parenthood that it would give them. They called her Jane, and Mary began, as carefully as she had with her own, to nurture this little life as God would have her do it. She had such good help now from the children. Grandfather too, touched by the dependence of the baby, was ready to lend a helping hand. The joy she brought paid for all the trouble. So many dull, unhappy, childless homes could be filled with joy, laughter, and song if men and women were willing to sacrifice a little ease and comfort to take one or more children into their hearts and homes. Not only will it bring joy but the rearing of children is the best discipline a life can have. If there is any within, it will be brought out.

A Problem

The family enjoyed little Jane so much, and she was so much younger than Jack and Jill, that they spoiled her by allowing her to have her own way; and she did not learn to recognize "mine" and "thine" as Jack and Jill had done. So when she reached this period of later childhood Mary had several problems she had not had with the older children. One was appropriating things and money, that did not belong to her, to her own use. When asked about it she would

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deny it. Mary realized she had two very serious faults to deal with so tried to look into their training and family habits to discover a cause. She found their carelessness in laying small coins temporarily on the dresser or other convenient place had put a temptation before the child. Another was the fact that Jill was a young lady and Jane admired her pretties so much that she wanted them for her own, or just to wear them to school in order to excite the envy of her schoolmates. When the first fault was discovered all had been astonished and a bit too severe, so had led to the second wrong. Mary regretted so much her lack of foresight. She remembered that this child might have inherited tendencies her own did not have. She talked kindly to her about always respecting the rights and property of others, removed, as far as possible the temptation, and when something was missed or she was late returning from school, she told the child to think seriously, and after a while she would slip away with her and ask God to help her tell the whole truth. It took a little while, but the fact of not being trusted and the stories Mary told her of girls in college who had so much trouble and finally had to be expelled for these faults, and the lessons Mary found to read to her from God's Holy Word had the right effect and she grew out of it. This made Mary realize that every child is different and that she must not take anything for granted. Too often parents whose older children are models fail completely with their younger children just because they spoil them, become lenient, and allow temptations all around them. Mothers must remember the ideal woman is watchful, "She looketh well to the ways of her household."¹

¹Proverbs 31:27.

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Family Ideals and Standards

The everyday life of the home will set the standard by which the child will measure everything outside. Jane visited a little friend for a meal and was so astonished by seeing food passed across the table she said, "We do not do that way at our house." Often she would say, "We are not supposed to use a knife to put food in our mouths." As in manners, so in gentleness, thoughtfulness, justice, honesty, and reverence, the life of the home in its relation to others decides the ideals and standards of the citizens who go out from it. The minds and hearts filled from babyhood with these virtues and the senses accustomed to good music, good pictures, and good literature are the only ones on which the false, the ugly, and the vulgar make no harmful impression. They will be repulsive to them. The attitude will be as God would have it. Evil will be abhorrent.

As has been said before, the home must practice its own teaching if the children that go forth from it are Christ-like in their treatment of others, in the observance of the law with reference to traffic, speed, game, evasion of taxes, as well as those that refer to murder and theft. The child who sees his father or mother go fishing on the Lord's day instead of teaching or attending a Bible class and the church service, is getting his convictions fixed with reference to the relative value. Mothers and fathers, how much time do you spend for your own pleasure compared to that given to the Lord's work? Your children see!

"We breathe in ideals as we breathe in air according to that which is available."¹

¹ Parents and Their Children--Moxcey.

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Guests

Jack was free to invite his gang to his home. His mother knew each of them and made their visits pleasant. Jill's cooking club met often in Mary's kitchen, and always there was a big celebration on the twins' birthday. And each birthday John brought their mother something beautiful. He was deeply grateful to her for his son and his daughter. Thus the childhood of these children passed. It had been filled with love and sympathy, work and play; so they were ready for the radical changes that come with adolescence.

The children grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER VIII

1. What preparation of body, mind and soul should be made during the period of later childhood to prepare for the changes in the period of early adolescence?
2. What knowledge is necessary that parents be able to formulate the special aims for this period?
3. What produces tendencies in all human beings and controls their interests?
4. What tendencies are produced by social contacts?
5. Which of these basic tendencies are more pronounced during later childhood?
6. Discuss the provisions that can be made to work with these interests.
7. What is a father's personal part and responsibility during the next fifteen years of growth? Does it bring its recompense of reward?
8. What are the lessons learned in competitive games?
9. Do the girls need the same sympathetic guidance in their interests?
10. What of mental activity during this period?
11. What kind of stories do children of this age prefer?
12. What is said in God's word of immunization against

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sin? What makes this a good time in the life of the child for this?
13. Discuss the quality of parental control.
14. Why should parents give careful and continuous attention and effort to strengthen right thinking, right feeling and right doing during this period?
15. By what should we be guided in teaching them the Bible in this as in the preceding years?
16. What does an appreciation of God's power build in the child of this age?
17. Give the aims in developing Christian personality during this period.
18. Why is it important to begin early to develop thrift in an Individual? Give God's teaching on the question.
19. From what does this virtue result? What have great men said of it?
20. On what evidence is the statement made that the American people are not developed in thrift?
21. What is said of our lack of preparation for old age?
22. What does this atmosphere of waste and reckless spending in which our children must grow up bring upon parents?
23. How did the parents in "The Home as God Would Have It" meet this need?
24. What else is there in thrift except the elimination of waste, and are there other elements than money?
25. Discuss the question of an allowance and the earnings of a child.
26. Should children be paid for doing the chores about home?
27. From what other sources may we draw lessons of thrift for our children?
28. Of what is the use of money a test?
29. Since lives are wrought out of desires, into what should we train our children?
30. What is the most destructive agency in the life of American youth?
31. What of the enormity of the waste in wealth, health, time, intellect and morals?

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32. When is the habit formed and what per cent is never able to quit it?
33. What is the per cent of mental injury?
34. What is the effect on the body. on the power to lead. and succeed, on the morals?
35. How does it affect girls with reference to motherhood?
36. Why is this enemy so powerful? Of what is the love of money the root?
37. What methods are effective in preventing the formation of the habit?
38. Give illustrations from your own knowledge.
39. Give the report of Luther Prescott Hubbard.
40. Whose assistance should parents and Bible school teachers secure in preventing this habit?
41. How may camping trips be used to get lessons of self-control, good habits, purity, truthfulness, fairness, honesty. independence, and helpfulness implanted In the hearts of boys and girls of this age?
42. Will this be accomplished without thought and direction, just by taking the group out for fun?
43. What projects of leadership and service should parents help Bible school teachers to use during this period of growth?
44. What becomes a strong desire in the hearts of children of this age who have been brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
45. What is the parent's responsibility at this point and what is his duty after the children become Christians?
46. How may childless homes, or those with only a few children, give a service that will bring joy to them?
47. What other blessing will it bring?
48. May habits of dishonesty and untruthfulness be overcome?
49. What does God expect every mother "to look well to"?
50. What of family ideals and standards?
51. What will make evil abhorrent?
52. Row may the relative value of practices be fixed in the child?

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53. How do we get ideals?
54. What of the importance of children being free to bring their friends into the home and of parents making their visits pleasant?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER VIII

The Bible.
The Church and The Children, Chapter IV by Miss Davy Drennan. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.
The Church and Her Ideal Educational Situation, by J. P. Sewell and H. E. Speck. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.
Training the Boy, by William A. McKeever. Published by The MacMillan Company, New York, New York.
Parents and Their Children, by Mary E. Moxcey. Published by The Methodist Book Concern, Chicago, Illinois.
Training in Thrift, by Eleanor R. Larrison. Published by Abingdon Press, Cincinnati, Ohio.

CHAPTER NINE
EARLY ADOLESCENCE

Adolescence is the period during which a child is developed into an adult. Since this period is variable in length and in the age of its beginning and close we will think of it in two periods: the first, early adolescence, from the age of twelve to seventeen or the completion of the high school work; the second, later adolescence, from seventeen to twenty-four or five.

Age

There is a marked difference in the races with reference to the beginning of the age of puberty. In southern Europe it occurs between the ages of ten and thirteen; in the north from thirteen to fifteen. In America we have a mixture; and while there is frequently quite a difference in individual children, we are safe in placing the beginning of this period at twelve. The term "puberty" is applied to the three or four years during which the youth becomes thoroughly established in the development and functioning of the sex organs of the body. Adolescence is a longer period but includes at its beginning this puberty period. The post puberty phase is devoted by nature to the maturing of these physical organs and tissues and the training of their powers. By the time the vigorous young man is twenty-two and the young woman is twenty we expect

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them to show full maturity of every organ and of every physical and mental power. The mental maturity depends largely upon the training and experience through which the youth has passed.

Change

A remarkable change takes place in the body and mind during this period. The growth becomes rapid at its beginning and there are a number of changes in the body that all of us recognize.

What has wrought this remarkable change?

Cause of Change

Men have known for thousands of years that the removal of the gonads or sex glands not only deprived the human being or animal of reproductive power but also the power to develop the physical and psychical qualities typical of the male or the female. It was not until late in the nineteenth century that biologists and physiologists became aware of the fact that glandular tissue not only prepares the external secretion but also pours back into the lymph and the blood a secretion that exerts an activating and controlling influence upon organic development and function. There are other glandular bodies that prepare internal secretions, such as the thyroids, adrenals and pituitary gland. These pour their special secretions or "Life Ferments" called hormones into the blood stream and are necessary to the correct growth and functioning of the body.

The hormone prepared and sent out by the gonads is absorbed and distributed all over the body causing the development of those physical and psychical qualities distinctive of virility or femininity as the case may be. We can easily see this in the contrast in the size,

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color, beauty and energy of animals who have been castrated and those which have not. Human beings who have by sin brought disease into their bodies that has destroyed these glands or that have had them destroyed by surgery or accident suffer the same loss.

Purpose

These wonderful glands that give beauty and energy and the power of reproduction should be held sacred by the parent and the youth. The lad or lassie should be taught to have this attitude toward them and to care for and preserve them from disease and hurt. Nature is preparing in the lad an individual who can support as well as father a family. He is preparing in the lassie those feminine graces that will attract a mate and that will mother her babies.

Control

The adolescent begins early to feel the sex urge, but he or she must be taught that this must be controlled if the body is to grow to perfection and the soul to find a mate that will make possible the joys of family life and the development of a personality that will count in this life and in the one to follow. After maturity is reached God has decreed and man has discovered the ideal social relationship of man and woman is monogamous wedlock, and both parties must live in absolute fidelity to this relationship.

Results from Lack of Control

Failure to control the sex impulse has led to what is called the social evil with its train of disease, sorrow and death and is responsible for the blotting out of more families than any other cause of family extinction.

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Another sad result is the illegitimate child and the unwed mother.

The lack of control of the sex urge results too in the habit that is quite widespread among adolescents, self-abuse or masturbation. This habit is often begun in childhood, and parents should be very careful as to the absolute cleanliness of the sex apparatus. Every boy should be circumcised during infancy, for it is difficult to keep the folds free from the accumulating secretions which will cause irritation and discomfort. The child instinctively attempts to relieve the discomfort by rubbing the parts. His clothes must not bind or rub. Older associates too, are a danger, for vulgar minded among them will often teach the habit to young children. It is said too, that the child of pre-adolescence goes through a period of vulgarity in thought, language and habits. They therefore need careful and loving oversight. This is another proof of the advantage of family life and motherly care over institutional care. As Michael O'Halloran said:

"God did not mean for children to be reared in squads."

Teaching the Truths of Life

Winfield Scott Hall in his discussion of the adolescent period says, "The problem of right social relationships between men and women will never be solved and society be brought back or up to the condition that we recognize as ideal until children and young people are taught in home and in school the sacred truths of life."

"The writer would formulate two general principles that may well govern us in this instruction of youth.

"1. The instruction that is to form the basis of

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habits during adolescent years must be begun in early childhood and in pre-adolescence, and should continue through puberty.

"2. The instruction must be positive and constructive;--i.e., it must be such that high ideals of life will be firmly established. In other words, if nature is to score a great success in her preparation of the homebuilder and family maker, this preparation must begin in early childhood, must be continued as a definite unfolding of life's lessons, and must establish right habits, high ideals and aspirations.

"Some of the fundamentals that must be established are:

1. A recognition of the sacredness of life
2. A recognition of the sacredness of motherhood;
3. A recognition of the sacredness of the family circle and of fatherhood;
4. A recognition of the sacredness of the body as the temple of womanhood or of manhood.
5. Establishing of hygienic habits which will be conducive to the development of perfect physique and the maintenance of perfect health."¹

These fundamentals should be taught the little child when he or she asks "how did the baby come." Lovingly and reverently the mother should tell how the heavenly Father makes the baby grow within the body of the mother and when it is strong enough to live outside he causes a little door to open so it can come outside and grow into a man or a woman.

During later childhood the mother should give the daughter and the father should give the son the second group of fundamentals or the story of manhood and womanhood. If the father fails to do his duty by his

¹The Child, His Nature and His Needs, Pages 313, 314.

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son the mother should lead the son into a knowledge of the origin of life.

The father should take advantage of the life of the birds and other wild as well as domestic animals and fowls to teach this lesson and in the hikes afield or while fishing in the natural fish hatcheries he can find opportunity to explain life in its various phases to his son. The father should explain at the beginning of puberty the growth, development and purpose of the testicles, the wonderful "elixir of life," the harmone that does those wonderful things for the whole body all through his life. He should tell, too, how the semen or seed begins to develop slowly in the testicles early in the period of puberty, and that it is a fluid possessing wonderful qualities and should not be wasted. With reverence he should explain God's plan for the starting of a new life--fatherhood. Such instruction will bring high ideals of manhood, of life, and of family. He must then lead him to observe absolutely correct habits in his personal life. The boy's love and reverence for his mother will be firmly established. His attitude towards his mother will determine his attitude toward womankind, his attitude of chivalry.

The mother too should instill in her daughter's heart and mind a reverence for her body so wonderfully formed, a reverence for God who made her so that this magical harmone will bring health, happiness and the joy of motherhood to her. She will instinctively feel that she must hold and preserve her body for wifehood and motherhood. She will be modest, idealistic and above reproach in thought, word and deed. This information will be a protection against bad habits. Just a suggestion that the habit of self-abuse will interfere with the beauty and perfection of the budding

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manhood and womanhood will be all that is necessary after they have been given the needed information.

Just before puberty the mother should explain to the daughter and the father to the son about the matter of periodicity. The daughter instructed that this is nature's method of preparing her for motherhood, also the precautions to be observed that her periods may be regular and her health good the girl will be reassured, prepared for what might frighten or unnerve her.

The father should explain to his boy that after he passes this age he may expect an occasional nocturnal emission or loss of the fluid which collects in two little bladders (vesicles) that make a part of the internal sex organs and are located back of the urinary bladder and next to it.

Nature provides this albuminous vesicular fluid for the nourishment of sperm cells or spermatoza of the semen. These cells are supposed to remain dormant for months during continent living of physically active youth. There is no immediate need for the fluid, so when the vesicles become filled and distended they simply empty. It is nature's method of taking care of the right living young man. A man may be living a clean life and still not have these emissions as the fluid may be reabsorbed or he may void it along with the urine once every three or four weeks. Frequent emissions may be caused by inordinate drinking of water in the evening causing a pressure of the bladder, eating too much albuminous food, by sleeping on the back causing the bladder to press on the vesicles or the most prevalent cause may be sex excitement brought about by the dance, the "petting party" or "spooning." This proximity of the body of a girl or woman is quite sure to

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excite sexually any normal young man. This last causes the semen to pour up from the testicle into the ampullae and vesicles, and the resulting emission that night will be accompanied by the draining off of semen; and the man's manly vigor will be depleted as surely as the youth who has the habit of self-abuse.

This sex excitement injures the girl just as much as it does the boy, it causes the evil thought that is condemned by our Lord. In this plain way parents should teach their sons and daughters the evils of the dance and familiarity between the sexes. Young men too often excited by the dance visit the brothel after escorting to their homes the young ladies that they honor too much to desecrate. But others, both boys and girls, crazed by this urge go down in disgrace and ruin just because their parents have failed to teach and to guard them against this danger.

These physical changes that we have been discussing cause the early adolescent to be awkward, contrary, noisy and tantalizing. The boy's voice changes, the girl is giggling or moody, perhaps defiant and disrespectful of age and experience. No one understands them and they do not understand themselves.

Mental changes

The greatest mental change is the increase in the tendency and ability to reason. The adolescent should be encouraged to think things through. The parents should delay decisions and permit the development of judgment and the exercise of the will.

Social Change

Socially there is a distinct change. The boys and girls have been repulsive to each other in the pre-

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adolescent period, but now there is an awakening of the desire to please the opposite sex. The boys comb their hair and dress up with less compulsion and the girls wear the brightest dresses and want their hair waved.

John and Mary made an exhaustive study of this period as Jack and Jill approached it. They felt that money could not be spent in a better way than in buying books that would help them to guide their children safely through this trying experience. John had the doctor I have mentioned before to talk to his class of boys about the possibilities and danger of this period in their growth, and a woman physician was induced to make a talk to the girls. John and Mary each gave Jack and Jill the instruction that has been advised in the preceding pages.

Jack's gang and Jill's club continued to meet at their home and Mary gave them more of her time. Jack had a chum who often came to visit with him. He was the son of a preacher and his mother was prominent in social circles, an artist of some ability and sang nicely. She allowed these talents to take her away from her home and her children. A negro woman cooked the meals and cared for the little girls. Bob, this son, just ran around. His father was a good man, very brilliant and popular. Bob was very outspoken and often said, "I would give anything to have a home like yours, Jack"; and to Mary he often said, "I never have anything fit to eat except when I come out here. When I go home there's nobody there except the negro and the kids. Daddy is in his study and mother is gone somewhere." Mary tried to excuse his mother, telling him she was too talented to spend her time in the kitchen. "Well I would rather have a mother who

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could cook a good meal and who would be at home to make it nice for a boy than one that can paint fine pictures; and she had better sing to us and make home happy for me and daddy; say, I wish you would get daddy to let me live with you." When he went away to college, his mother was in another state visiting, and a neighbor had to help him pack his trunk. Mary was made to think of the truth of this beautiful poem by Grace Noll Crowell.

A THOUSAND GRACIOUS MEMORIES

I pity any child who never sees
His mother in the kitchen. He will lack
lifelong a thousand gracious memories
Try which he could look back.

He will have lost a picture that his heart
('an Ill afford to lose: a vital thing
Of fire and warmth and shine that have a part
In all remembering.

He will have missed keen scents that have the power
To turn the years back with their poignancy:
New bread, a bubbling stew at the supper hour,
The steam of fragrant tea...

A child will miss too much who has not known
The homely comfort of a kitchen chair,
A brimming bowl of bread and milk, and his own
Dear Mother busy there.
--Christian Herald, May, 1936.

The boy's and girl's interests were merging now, a tennis court was made and the croquet ground was the scene of many pleasant hours. John and Mary believed that pleasant activity, something to do all the time, would be the greatest help in keeping strong the now vigorous bodies of their son and daughter, and

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would make possible the best mental activity and moral and religious development. They kept an active interest in and contact with their high school life. The children were not teased or made self-conscious by criticism of their awkwardness, or Jack's changing voice, or Jill's high pitched one. Having learned the turmoil that would come to their bodies and minds Jack and Jill were prepared so did not do as many foolish, silly things as some of the young people in their group. One girl, the daughter of fine good parents and the son of another good home became very much in love with each other. The girl became so rebellious against parental control that life was miserable for her and for them. She was so crazy about the boy she had to hug close to his side and hang on his arm as they walked down the street in broad daylight. The boy was a serious minded boy and had made preaching the gospel his choice as a life work. The girl failed to show the interest in that ambition he knew would he necessary if his life would be a success and her conduct did not appeal to him, so he ceased going with her. She soon found another to admire, this time one not so honorable, who took her out late at night without her parents' consent. A good friend of the family wrote her a letter kindly explaining the turmoil in mind and body during adolescence and told her she was just advertising to the world the sex urge that was disturbing her, reminding her that her parents, who were her best friends had passed over this road and would be her best friends and counsellors. She immediately changed her plans, and after a hard struggle gained control of herself and married a good boy. They were young but her father helped them; now she is a fine young mother.

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Benjamin C. Gruenberg in Guidance of Childhood and Youth says in reference to the control of the sex impulse:

"The prolongation of systematic schooling and of economic dependence past the time of virtual physiological maturity places upon parents and educators the responsibility of guiding the young people into effective control of their impulses, and into effective direction of their energies along profitable channels of activity

"There has nowhere been developed a complete technique for systematic control of the sex impulses, except for a selected few in connection with religious consecration. In the case of intelligent boys and girls of marked talent, the cultivation of intellectual interests, professional or artistic ambitions, or ideals of social service often serve effectively even where those in charge are not very clear as to what they are doing; yet in many cases secondary results, results of an undesirable kind show themselves, as in frigidity among certain types of college women.

"Young men and women need to be treated with a growing regard for their personalities as they mature; they need moreover the sympathetic guidance of older men and women in facing the difficulties that beset them, quite as much as they need anything else that higher education can give them."¹

New Interests

Our young parents learned that by the close of the age of puberty the childish interests become inadequate, the mind reaches out for new things to learn

¹ Readings in Child Study, Page 247--Compiled by Child Study Association of America. The Macmillan company, New York, New York.

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and to do. Imagination, memory and feeling develop rapidly. Jack and Jill became day dreamers with high ideals. Thinking of the great things they knew they were going to do they often forgot the everyday duties. Their parents listened with interest to "their castles in the air" and did not throw cold water on them by recounting the failure of those who had just as bright dreams in the past. They assisted them in remembering the nearby duties, helping them to see these duties were stepping stones. John and Mary knew no castles would be built on the earth if none were built in the air; and they remembered the pleasure of their own dreams, and the beautiful poem of Lowell's quoted by Orton Lowe in "Our hand and Its Literature":

"When I was a beggarly boy,
And lived in a cellar damp.
I had neither friend nor toy,
But I had Aladdin's lamp;
When I could not sleep for the cold,
I had fire enough in my brain,
And builded with roofs of gold
My beautiful castles in Spain."

They checked their chart of the Christ-like personality that they might take advantage of the capacities and interests of this period. Seeing the reasoning powers developing, they guided the opinions and conclusions of the children, allowing them to depend on themselves as much as possible.

Children of this age are inclined to doubt and to want to understand the plan and purpose of everything. The strong faith that filled the hearts of our young parents, their excellent knowledge of God's word and of the writings of "scientists so called," led them to now warn their children as Paul warned. Timothy. "O Timothy guard that which is committed unto thee

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turning away from profane babblings and oppositions of the knowledge which is falsely so called: which some professing have erred concerning the faith."¹ Their knowledge too, of true science made it possible for them to answer the doubts of these high school boys and girls. If they had not been able they would not have dismissed the questions; they would have found someone who could meet the need. They wanted the faith of Jack and Jill to be "unfeigned"² as was that of Timothy, Eunice and Lois.

They encouraged independence of thought and conscience and endeavored to strengthen their abhorrence of evil and their love for the good. Jack was a bit attached to the gay life of a part of his high school class, so slipped away to look on at one of their dances. One of his school mates offered him a drink from his hip flask. Jack was so insulted he could hardly control himself, and when telling his mother about it next day he was still very much incensed, saying, "If I had been big enough I would have given him a good whipping." Jack was good in public speaking and his minister had used him in a prohibition campaign the previous summer. His knowledge of the evils of liquor and his disgust for those who would touch it made this seem one of the greatest insults that could be offered a clean Christian boy. His mother let him talk and then she asked, "Why are you so angry with this boy? You went to the dance, you looked on those half clad girls, you put yourself in the way of temptation. God says 'avoid the appearance of evil' and 'flee from temptation'." The lesson went home. He was soon after riding with an older man up into the hills. This

¹1 Tim. 6:20-21.

²2 Tim. 1:5.

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friend was chaffing him about the girls. Jack's reply was, "I have no use for the girls. I wouldn't have one of them in that school. They won't cover their bodies, and when they play they kick up their beds like young animals." They drove on and at noon stopped with a family for lunch. There was a pretty young girl in the family, and soon after lunch she and Jack had a game of catch in the yard and Jack seemed delighted with her. As they went on their way the older man said, "Jack, you forgot your dislike for girls back there." Jack replied, "Now she was different. Didn't you see how she was dressed? She is a tomboy and has a good time, but she was careful and didn't throw herself about in an immodest way. I think I will come up here again."

Jill and several other girls who would have no part in the school dances, drinking, smoking, and petting parties, were ridiculed and sniffed at by the worldly crowd. They gathered the finer, better trained girls together and formed a social group of their own and Jill said, "We showed them we could turn our noses up too." During the senior year she was selected as the most intelligent girl of the class. Some of the social leaders came to her to insist on her taking part in the class dances, urging that since she had been honored by her class she should show her appreciation. "I thought people exhibited intelligence with their heads rather than with their feet," was her reply.

Mary did not overlook the correct clothing of the body in Jill's training. Jill had pretty, well made clothes. Their beauty consisted in harmonious color, suitability for the occasion, flowing lines and graceful draperies; but the fashion was never extreme, her body was covered, her skirts did not cling too close to

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her figure nor slip up to show her garters. She had dainty handmade collars, cuffs and other accessories. She learned to make her own clothes, first by sewing for little Jane, then gradually she learned the more difficult part of dressmaking.

Mary built into her heart the picture of the ideal woman of Proverbs 31.

She and Jack had the courage of their convictions and made their influence felt among their associates. Young people of this age are still largely controlled by their emotions and are very altruistic; so the traits of sympathy and brotherly kindness were strengthened. They have a keen sense of justice and are secretive. John and Mary were extremely careful to be always just in handling any wandering from the straight path. They had always had the confidence of the children so now they were careful to respect the very personal affairs of their children and so keep this confidence. They were glad to encourage the sense of humor that to some parents seems to point only to frivolity. They expect youngsters to be too serious. A sense of humor in grown people will often relieve the tension and save an experience from becoming a tragedy.

During this period the gang reaches its climax and the athletic team takes its place. Loyalty and co-operation are developed by the necessity for following the leader and doing good team work in the success of the school team. In this period again John and Mary did not forget to see that Jack and Jill were reading the right books and magazines and to lead them to discriminate between good and bad literature. Jill was a member of the Home Economics class. The teachers were young women of high ideals. They used a fashion and household magazine that has been a criterion

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In America for two or three generations. They grew more and more disgusted with the fiction and articles in the journal so felt they were doing wrong to keep it before the girls of their department but were loathe to give up the use of their good patterns, recipes, etc., so they wrote the following protest and received the insulting reply that follows

To the editors of the Delineator:

In Brackenridge High School, the Delineator is used in the Home Economics Department usually with great success. Articles such as "Self-Made Chic," "What Money Costs," "Don't Raise a Snob," all in the November issue, are used beneficially and are much appreciated by pupils and teachers alike. Many recipes printed in the Delineator are useful in the Foods Department. Their dress patterns are much admired for their good design and adaptability a great many of them are recommended by the teachers and used by the girls of the Clothing Section. Splendid articles, useful for classes in Home Management, Interior Decoration classes are much appreciated.

But since the Home Economics teachers also have as their objective the instilling of clean habits and high ideals in their students, the Delineator is a detriment in that it upholds as it were, customs and habits that tend to tear down morals and cleanness. For instance, in the November issue, it goes to great pains to show correct etiquette for smoking a cigarette; in another place it describes a cocktail party. At times the fiction is of such a low tone, describing drinking and sordidness, that no right thinking person enjoys reading it, and surely it cannot be good food for thoughts of young people.

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Therefore, we, the teachers of the Home Economics Department of Brackenridge High, are making a protest that such a splendid magazine as the Delineator should put forth an editorial policy of this kind.
Very sincerely,
Jean Harwell
Flo Anderson
Kate Andrews
Selby Moore

Dear Miss Harwell:
" " Anderson:
" " Andrews:
" " Moore:
Don't be so provincial. It is Delineator's policy to be the most liberal-minded and advanced of all the women's magazines. And if that does not fit into your taste, don't read it.

In New York women smoke in the streets. In our offices, the women on the editorial staff smoke as much as they like. In fact, whether women want to smoke or not is a matter of supreme indifference to me. And have you never gone to a cocktail party? Come, come! Tell papa.
Sincerely,
Oscar Grave, Editor.

This aroused the attention of the mothers and many subscriptions to the magazine were cancelled and the use of the patterns discontinued. Other magazines were scrutinized as to their content. It takes eternal vigilance to guard against the sources of evil that surround the youth of our age.

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Moving Pictures

The greatest single influence in our land today is the moving picture. A conservative estimate places the weekly attendance at the cinema at 77,000,000. It has been found that one-third of this vast audience is made up of minors, one-sixth under the age of fourteen. Our young parents had made a careful study of this great influence, so attractive, so enticing and so universally accepted that it is moulding the thought, ideals, standards, character and conduct of the majority of our nation. In this as in their other problems they found guidance in the book of God. "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he." "Out of the heart come the issues of life." They knew that thoughts were provoked by those things that touch the sense, Luther Allen Weigle says, "Let absolutely nothing touch a child's senses that you would not have become a permanent part of his life," God says touch not, taste not, handle not.." Jesus says, "Every one that looketh on a woman to lust after her bath committed adultery with her in his heart," also "Take heed how you hear," all showing the avenues into the heart to be the senses and that those avenues are to be guarded. The child's hungry senses gather in impressions eagerly, indiscriminately and continually. If these impressions are strong they become a permanent part of his personality. He doesn't select, but registers everything good or bad, beautiful or ugly that catches his attention or stirs his interest. As he grows older, though he continues to receive impressions there is some selection governed by his previous training. But early impressions are far reaching in their effect. A gash on the trunk of a tree will scar it but will not mar its symmetry and beauty; but a wound on a little

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shoot just coming through the ground will go through the trunk, mar the branches that were to be, causing it to be deformed and ugly if not totally destroying it. On the other hand, good impressions will beautify and ennoble the personality of the child or youth. Impressions are made permanent in their effect in proportion to the feeling of pleasure or pain that is aroused. Sights, sounds or events that produce joy, admiration, reverence, fear or pain make permanent impressions. Added power is given impressions by unusual or unfamiliar surroundings. The child receives patterns of conduct, he plays what he sees on the screen, his language, walk, manners and attitudes are influenced, for there is a glamour produced by stage effects that intensifies its attraction. As the early adolescent period is the hero-worshipping age; the attitude, conduct and ideals of the heroes of the screen do their most effective work in moulding conduct and ideals of children of this age. Many of the comic strips with their continual theme of deception or getting by form another source of injurious influence.

One of the large moving picture concerns states that twelve millions of people, one-third under twenty, visit moving picture houses every day; so by reason of the many and varied impressions that it makes and the large numbers that come under its influence we see it to be the most powerful educational agency in the world. Since they are usually considered only a recreation, too much emphasis cannot be placed on their educational influence on young life.

A Survey

An effort was made more than fifteen years ago to

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determine the nature of this education that is given to the majority of our people.

A survey was made by intelligent men and women over a large territory. They visited the pictures in the order presented by the theaters. Reports were had on four hundred and four films. A ten point questionnaire was given them and this is the tabulated result.

Points included in questionnaire Number of films containing indicated points.
1. Married Intrigue or Unfaithfulness _____117
2. Divorce _____38
3. Immodest Dress _____172
4. Social or Individual Drinking _____140
5. Indecent Cabaret Dancing _____97
6. Interior of Houses of Ill Fame, Gambling Halls, etc. _____124
7. Undue Freedom of Contact between Sexes _____192
8. Smoking by Girls and Women _____82
9. Realistic struggle of girl or woman to defend honor _____113
10. Tense nerve-racking situations _____223
Number of films free from objection 35 out of 404.

Two other points, it is said, should have been included, "Is the Church or Ministry Ridiculed?" and "Is Crime portrayed in minute detail?"¹

Other notes were made. The presence of children at all types of pictures; often large groups of children between the ages of nine and fourteen attended the toughest theaters. These were the cheapest. They noted too the reactions to certain features. A four year-old screamed and begged to go during a murder scene but the mother remained. Boys of later childhood and early adolescence applauded with delight shouting down the cop when the villain, the hero, struck the policeman down. The same response was

¹The Home and Moving Pictures by Minnie E. Kennedy, Page 16.

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made when a son struck his father. A boy drank from a coca cola bottle as the actors drank on the screen. Sex pictures brought expressions of relish from both boys and girls. Thirty-five of the four hundred and four were free from objectionable features. Some were clean wholesome comedies full of fun and free from vulgarity. Some had interesting plots and others contained a challenge to lofty thought and conduct. Christopher Columbus and his voyage was presented to thrill even adults, and the adolescents of the audience were doubtless thrilled by his greatness and stirred to lofty purpose and action.

Part of even these thirty-five were insipid hence doubtful as to influence exerted. This was fifteen years ago. Think how much more objectionable they are today.

Other investigators have found that children remember seventy per cent of that received by the adult and a month after can give as much or more of what they have seen. Physically they have found it to be injurious to eyes and nerves resulting in poor sleep. The matter of the character of sleep following attendance at the movies was tested over a two-year period with apparatus attached to the beds and proved beyond doubt this to be one of the greatest physical injuries, the injurious effects extending to the sleep for four or five nights after the experience. Adolescents were affected mostly by suggestive scenes. Pulse and heart action was increased by scenes of horror; of course nervous and emotional children were affected more than others. Another thing is mentioned by these psychologists; that is, that the effect of exciting criminal scenes, the conduct of a drunk man, or a suggestive love scene cannot be blotted out or even lessened

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by the victory of the good or moral at the close of the picture. Racial prejudice is increased. Immodesty in dress it also increased, for the stars have become the fashion models. Necking, vamping, kissing and petting, love-technique, as they call it, are gotten from the movie; and the continual presentation of the eternal triangle, the broken home, teaches the youth of our land that this is what they may expect of life

Tests given groups of children who do attend movies and other groups who do not reveal in some places no differences in their attitudes and conduct but in other schools those who attended frequently were rated lower in deportment and in school work, less co-operative, were more emotional, more deceptive and had less self-control. One writer says "the public in general is not trained to judge with discriminating eye the helpful or hurtful elements of a picture." She tells of one mother taking her young son to see what she called "a sweet interesting harmless kind of picture." A surveyor called her attention to the fact that to the satisfaction of all concerned a sum large enough to clear a home of a mortgage was won on a horse race by a boy of ten and also that the same boy put molasses on his hands and so caught the greased pig, thus winning the prize by a trick."¹ The mother hadn't once thought of the impressions on her child's mind made by these things. Too often we think things go over children's heads when they are getting every impression and are unable to reason about the final result. The boy gambled and won, he by a trick won the prize, hence such conduct was right.

The parents in the home as God would have it had taken Jack and Jill to a very few carefully selected.

¹Minnie E. Kenneday in The Home and Moving Pictures.

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picture shows. The time, money and physical expense, but most of all this terrible educational danger, caused them now, when everything would count so much in the development of Christian personality, to handle this matter with extreme care.

When they found there was to be a picture that would be beneficial to the children, they took them; if the picture proved not to be what they expected they left immediately. They took them to the good concerts, art exhibits and other entertainments of a cultural nature; Jack and Jill could not say, "We never get to go anywhere." Some mothers say, "We can't afford these expensive entertainments," yet spend vastly more by frequent patronage of the vaudeville and picture show. John and Mary discussed with their children the skill of the artists they heard. Both continued their study of music and were becoming proficient. If parents who say they can't afford to give their children training in music, art or expression would realize it, these continual expenses of commercial amusements would pay the cost and save their young people from being dependent, all their lives, for entertainment on the cheap, tawdry amusements prepared for the lustful eyes and ears of the masses.

Selection of Amusements

All Christian parents and many young Christians realize that one of the biggest problems is that of amusements. Young people crave and must have a due portion of amusement and recreation for their all round development, and the unfortunate thing is that almost all commercialized amusements are degrading.

John and Mary impressed on their own children and those of their group the fact that amusements are

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never neutral; they either build or tear down: that any form of amusement which does not help us, hurts us. They taught these young people to apply a series of tests to any amusement presented.

1. Is this amusement wholesome, physically, mentally and spiritually? If it will hurt my body I cannot afford to indulge for God says my body belongs to him and must be used for his glory.¹ If it will cause me to think evil thoughts or defile my mind in any way, it is wrong; because my mind belongs to God and is to be used for his glory.²

2. Will this amusement lower the state of my spirituality so that I am less efficient as a Christian? Then I am living below the standard set for me by Jesus, and to thus lower my usefulness is a sin.

3. Can I as a Christian do these things without hurting someone else? God teaches we are our brother's keeper, and should bear the infirmities of the weak, not live to please ourselves; and that we should avoid the very appearance of evil. God, through Paul, said, "It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine nor anything whereby my brother stumbleth."³ He also tells us we must someday give account to God, and Jesus said while on earth that for every idle word even his disciples should be called in judgment. We are responsible for our influence. A strong Christian might (I say might) take part in questionable amusement and not be injured by it; at the same time another, seeing him take part, might go into it and be ruined spiritually.

4. Christ when instructing his followers said, "If

¹1 Cor. 6:20.

²Rom. 12:1.

³Rom. 14:21.

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any man will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."¹

The call to the development of Christ-like personality is a call to a higher nobler existence than the world knows. Wherefore, "Come ye out from among them and be ye separate, saith the Lord."² Young Christians must bear in mind constantly that they must have the courage to be different, to do right all the time; that they must lead in the better roads; never follow the crowd.

5. Young Christians when facing these problems should think them through, pray them through; then ask themselves if they would be willing for Christ to find them in the places they are thinking of going, or doing the things they are contemplating doing.

Thus John and Mary led these young people to decide to follow the path to the abundant life. One girl of the group was asked by her sister if she didn't want to go to a party to which she had been invited just across the street. The sound of music and merry making and the lights on the lawn seemed to the sister to make the temptation strong. No, 1 do not even want to go, Jill's mother and father make our crowd have such a good time we do not desire anything else. So here is the secret: give them the teaching, "the admonition of the Lord," and do not forget that God also commands, "the nurture," the making it easy and pleasant to do right while they are developing the judgment and the will, the love of the good and the pure, of Christ-like personality.

Vacations

During the adolescent years John and Mary planned

¹Matt. 16:24.

²2 Cor. 6:17.

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the summer vacations to include trips to different interesting places rather than the bathing beaches or pleasure resorts where only commercialized amusement may be had. One summer they went to the Davis mountains and to the Carlsbad Caverns, another to the City of Mexico, another west to California and back across the Rockies through Colorado. All the family planned, studied and saved that these trips might be joyous ones yet educational in their value. Later they traveled east to the capital of our nation so full of interest to every loyal citizen of our great country: another summer to New York City and still another to Niagara, Canada, Detroit and Chicago. The drives through the country made them familiar with the geography, natural scenery and products of each section and were fine for the health of all of them. They were not extravagant in their wants, so the trips did not cost so much. The children had something worthwhile to talk about, and felt that their parents knew more than those who traveled the gay society path; that they loved them, and wanted them to see the worthwhile things. When the World's Fair came John and Mary studied their budget and decided that all could not go this time. They allowed Jack and Jill to go alone. They took advantage of one of the cheap excursion rates; the young people had the thrill of their lives; being put on their own responsibility and having a long railroad journey. They made the trip, came back with their heads full of interesting knowledge and more money in their pockets than their parents had thought possible. Of course the parents took advantage of the kindness of Christians in Chicago who arranged a safe rooming place for them, and were there

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if any emergency should cause them to need help of any kind.

Ambition

Jack and Jill passed through high school with credit to themselves and honor to their parents. They had determined to go to college, and their parents, realizing that the selection of the college meant everything to them, said the college must give good intellectual training, must be wise and firm in discipline and must above all else have a faculty strong in faith in God and earnest and devoted in service. Jack and Jill had selected a Christian college. They had been so carefully reared that they desired to surround themselves so that they would grow into men and women like their Lord, and who could render efficient service to humanity in his name. They knew the road to true happiness led through "seeking first the kingdom of God and his righteousness."

Self Help

John's income could not be stretched to cover the expense of two college students; but they had looked forward to this through the years and had an insurance policy for this purpose. However, it was small and the young people wanted to continue their study of music. Jack and Jill had been thrifty and had put away a little during their high school years, and now they wrote to the college and asked for work to defray a part of their expense. While going through high school they had anticipated this need and had studied stenography and typing, so they secured work. In the summer preceding their entrance Jill secured a posi-

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tion in a nearby town. She learned how to live away from home while close enough for frequent visits, how to care for her clothes without her mother's constant help and how to meet temptation alone. In the boarding house where she lived there was a group of young people, some of them fine and some ordinary. One night she and her roommate invited the others to a little entertainment they provided, and some of the young men brought some liquor to liven things up. Jill soon discovered their intentions and kindly told them nothing of that kind could be done at her party; but the boys had already had enough to be obstinate and the other girls didn't have either the courage or the desire to stand for what they knew to be right. Jill told them she would not be a part of such a program so withdrew to a neighbor's until the party was over. She was honored and respected by all even those who did the wrong. She earned enough to pay for her piano lessons during the school year.

Jack secured a job, a real job, with the oil company for which his father worked. His parents prepared him for the temptations that would come to him in this association. He was fortunate in finding a place to board in a home where the woman was a true Christian, and he found a good church nearby. He wrote his mother that in the little oil town there was every sin in the catalog and the men ridiculed him because he would not take part with them. John and Mary were grateful for the church nearby and the good woman in the boarding house. The life of a woman who keeps boarders is often a hard one, but some of them take advantage of their many opportunities to mother the young men, and young women who come into their homes and so add stars to their crowns.

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Jack's father had led Jack to a firm resolution to live a pure, clean life free from sex indulgence of any kind. Jack hoped some day to wed a chaste, healthy, efficient young woman, so would be unwilling to ask more of her than he could bring to her. Higher than this was his determination to keep his body pure, as his Guide, God's word commands. Jack saved his earnings to use in his school work.

Off to College

He and Jill with several of their crowd prepared with happy hearts for their departure for college. Yet a tinge of sadness came over them now and then as they thought about living away from their beloved parents. John and Mary had a hard fight with themselves as they knew the home life would never be the same. They were so grateful though that their children could have the training that would mean so much to them; for they loved the children more than they loved themselves. I have heard parents say they loved their children so devotedly they could not be separated from them even for their good. They were mistaken; they loved themselves.

John and Mary went with them; so made the acquaintance of the men and women into whose hands and hearts they were sending their children for a continuation of the development of their souls into Christ-likeness. When they returned home, little Jane served to brighten the hours for them and they gave themselves to her training. They felt they were beginning over again as she had been in school only two years.

They did not neglect the boys and girls in their church who could not go to college, but continued to guide them, and endeavored to make their social life

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pleasant, as they either pursued studies at home or went into the business world.

Jill left an unfinished painting on the easel in her room; this and her house dress which she left hanging in her closet, Jack's old hat and coat in the rear hall, Mary would not allow to be moved. They remained the whole school year just where the young people left them. Such is the way of a mother's love.

John and Mary, morning, noon and night, often between times, lifted their hearts in earnest petition to the Heavenly Father, asking his watchful care to be ever about their precious children.

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER NINE

1. What is adolescence and during which years does it occur?
2. What are the changes of this period?
3. What is the cause and what the purpose?
4. What should be the parents' attitude towards the sex organs and impulses of their children and what should they teach them?
5. What are the results of a lack of control of sex impulses?
6. What measures should be taken to prevent sex impulses from arising early in the life of the child?
7. What is necessary to solve the problem of right relationships between men and women?
8. What two principles should govern us in this instruction of youth?
9. Give some of the fundamental principles that must be established.
10. When must instruction begin and how long be continued?
11. What information should a father give a son and the mother the daughter as they near the age of puberty?
12. How should this information be given, with blushes and reluctance, with giggling and frivolity, or with reverence and seriousness?
13. What of sex excitement brought about by the dance, hug-

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ging, kissing, crowding in cars, seeing sex films in the movies, etc.
14. How should parents guard and teach against this danger?
15. How should the physical changes be treated to avoid self-consciousness?
16. What of the mental and social changes?
17. How may the parents best use the home during this stage?
18. What should fill the minds and time of youth to aid them in effective control of sex impulses or too early marriage?
19. What new interests come and how should "castles in the air" be treated?
20. What of doubts and questionings?
21. How may faith be firmly established?
22. Should the teaching in the public schools be looked into along these lines?
23. What of the importance of the attitude of youth towards evil?
24. How may Christians harmonize style and modesty in clothing?
25. What emotional traits may now be strengthened?
26. How should parents treat confidences and clean fun?
27. Against what evils in magazines should parents constantly guard?
28. What is the greatest single influence in the world today?
29. What is the weekly attendance?
30. What proportion of this audience is minors and what children?
31. What is this enticing influence moulding?
32. Should parents disregard or give it careful attention?
33. What principles in our Guide Book apply in dealing with this?
34. Why do the senses, seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, direct the thoughts making them pure or impure?
35. What does Luther Weigle say of the things that touch a child's senses?
36. Compare the effect of good and bad impressions and what intensifies the impressions?
37. What of the effect of comic strips with their theme of deception?

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38. What makes the motion picture the greatest educational agency in the world?
39. Is this for good or evil?
40. Give the findings of a survey of fifteen years ago?
41. Discuss this influence from the different angles of later investigation.
42. Is the evil effect of criminal, drunken, or suggestive love scenes blotted out by the victory of the good in the end?
43. What of the waste of time and money?
44. How should Christian parents handle the problem?
45. Are amusements ever neutral?
46. What tests should be put to all amusements?
47. What is the call to the development of Christ-like personality?
48. What must young Christians have, to be different, to lead in right paths, and not to follow the crowd?
49. Do we want our sons and daughters to be cowardly?
50. How can we apply the command to nurture, as well as to admonish in this field of parental duty?
51. Discuss good and bad vacations.
52. What of relative values and the advantage of spending money on worthwhile things?
53. How may Christian young people realize their ambition for an education even though poor?
54. Give illustrations from your own knowledge.
55. What of the importance of the selection of a college and parental guidance still after the young people enter?
56. In what ways should parents use their homes for God's service at all times?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER IX

The Bible.
The Church and the Young People, by Zora Melton. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.
The Church and Her Ideal Educational Situation. Sewell and Speck. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.
Ideal Womanhood, by Daisy McQuigg Sewell. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.

214 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

The Child. His Nature and His Needs. Edited by M. V. O'Shea. Published by The Children's Foundation, New York, New York.
The Home and Moving Pictures, by Minnie E. Kenneday. Published by Abingdon Press, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Building for Womanhood, by Margaret W. Eggleston. Published by Abingdon Press, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Our Movie Made Children, by Henry James Forman. Published by The MacMillan Company, New York, New York.
Movies and Conduct, by Herbert Blumer. Published by The MacMillen Company, New York, New York.

CHAPTER TEN
LATER ADOLESCENCE AND MEETING
WEALTH

This period covers the life of the youth from seventeen to eighteen to adulthood and marks the last stage of physical development. The disposition and character are largely fixed by its close. Adulthood is reached at different ages. The age is usually determined by training and economic conditions.

Growth

The body during this period does not increase much in height but fills out and grows stronger with the maturing of all the bodily functions. Vitality expended in growth during early adolescence may now give the energy necessary to make possible great records in athletics, the achievement of some absorbing ambition, or the accomplishment of some long cherished desire. It is marked by enthusiasm, fearlessness, endurance, and self-sacrifice. In the October 1936 number of the Atlantic Monthly, President Hopkins of Dartmouth College tells how he was impressed by the contrast between the ways in which European governments and the American government are treating youth. Over there the leaders are demanding sacrifice, heroism, surrender of self for causes supposed to be noble. Over here we are giving the impression that the nation

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owes every youth "the abundant life" and will give it to him regardless of what he does. President Hopkins regards this as a very serious peril.

These European nations are getting the great surrender out of youth because they understand the heroic and idealistic spirit of youth. Regardless of their error they have seized upon the zeal of youth to carry it through. Youth, at its best, wants to do; it doesn't want to be carried; it is ready to die for something. In our effort to make life easy, we are creating a peril for ourselves and for our children.

As Christians we should challenge our youth with Christ's call to take up the cross of self-discipline and of service to the human family.

Make them see the Christ-like life is a battle that requires courage, determination, and sacrifice--not a namby, pamby existence.

This too is the age of beauty, grace, charm, and courtesy.

Mental Development

During the high school days the youth of our land is given a broad view of the different fields of knowledge spread out before the human mind. The later adolescent, if he or she enters college, must now narrow down, learn more definitely, specialize in some certain field of study. If he must enter the industrial world, he still must specialize in some line of work. A fine thing about the commercial and industrial enterprisers of today is that they give instruction, special courses of study, and lectures to help the youth to make rapid progress in his chosen field of endeavor. This mental activity, accompanied by his work (the

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commercial or industrial laboratory), develops his power to think as well as to do. The contact with his fellows in college or at work helps him to round out and bring into every-day use the things he has learned or the characteristics he has developed. He is very sure of himself and wants to prove that his philosophy of life is right.

Social Development

He loves companionship and is not happy unless he is a member of some social group. In college these groups are formed sometimes on mutual interests, as musical groups, art groups, or those coming from the same section or state. In the commercial world the groups working together often. meet for social pleasure. Parents should make possible pleasant companionship that will gratify this natural desire.

Religious Development

If the young people of this age have not already become Christians it is vitally important that they be led into a consecration of their lives to Christ; for after this period is passed, the task is much more difficult. This is the age of sympathy and unselfishness. Young men and women in this period are led to consecrate their lives to the good of humanity in preaching the gospel, relieving the ills of the body or mind, or in training the young in mind and soul. Difficulties do not deter them if the goal is, in their judgment, worthwhile. Responsibility and a recognition of their ability to reason things out for themselves will cause them to study to find the truth, and to grow in the ability to do really worth while things.

218 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

Leadership

Initiative and leadership develop very definitely during this period. During the last years in high school the leaders in the group are readily seen, and in college they are soon the presidents of the classes and clubs, Or captains of athletic teams. The character of these leaders will determine very largely the character of the college life, or the life in the religious, the industrial or commercial group in which they work.

Interests

The interests of this group are social, economic, religious, and romantic. They crave companionship, they desire a means of livelihood that they may accumulate to start a home or fortune, or to develop some talent, or to give some service to humanity. Their hearts are tender. The goodness, power, and mercy of God, and the needs of humanity appeal to them; but they are critical of the failure of their older relatives and friends in their exemplification of the teaching of God. They are interested in the wonders of the universe and in God's power, as shown in its creation and continuance.

Romance

This is the romantic period. Love means everything to them, and older people should so guide and nurture, so sympathize and appreciate, that the sex impulses may result in the finest sentiments and noblest ideals possible to human beings. On this guidance and nurture depends the destiny of the homes of the future. And as the homes determine the character of the race, may we, the parents, so teach that love will rule the hearts and lives of the youth of our generation.

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If the parental authority and guidance has been such as to produce the right attitude towards the good and the pure, a will that is able to control the conduct and has furnished the knowledge necessary to right choices, it has accomplished its purpose, it has led the youth to freedom, to the attainment of personal conviction, to a high intellectual and ethical level. If we, as parents, have so labored that we have implanted in the heart of our child such an appreciation of Jesus Christ that his life will be one long, glad, increasing endeavor to grow more and more into the likeness of our Lord, we shall have achieved our purpose, and should feel very grateful.

In the family of our study, though Jack and Jill were away from home, the parents did not lose their interest nor cease their endeavor to learn all that was possible about this stage in the development of the personalities of their children.

Letters

The regular letters from Jack and Jill were scrutinized carefully. They understood their children so well that they could read between the lines. I said the regular letters. John and Mary had told Jack and Jill that while every word they could send home would be welcome, they did not expect them to spend too much time writing home, but they agreed on regular days for letters, this was in accordance with their systematic rearing, and saved any unnecessary anxiety. Jill formed the habit of writing a little eve', night, telling them the interesting things of each day; so when the day came to send her letter, she had a full picture of her school life to send home. Jack dashed his off in true boyish fashion, but they were full of the

220 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

good sermons, brilliant lectures, and practical chapel talks they were hearing. The fine examples of service and sacrifice they were seeing in their teachers were described. Both letters carried joy and satisfaction to the parents.

The school life in this Christian college of work, play, and worship produced an atmosphere of interest, joyful exercise, and sweet content. Jack and Jill did not wait to be urged or even invited by older students to attend all the religious meetings provided for the students. It had been their habit from childhood and this brought them in contact with the best students. Their musical ability and training gave them entrance to the chorus and orchestra.

Friends

They soon were telling "Dear" and Father of James, Margaret, Majorie, Frank, and Sam, more and more new friends all the time. John and Mary soon became acquainted with their special friends and were almost as interested in their progress and happiness as were Jack and Jill. They began planning to have these fine boys and girls in their home the next summer. These bright, vigorous young people from the ranch and the farm would enjoy a visit to the city, with its varied points of interest. There was a brother and sister from far away Canada, so John and Mary told Jack and Jill to bring them home with them for the Christmas holidays. These two young people were earning their ways in school and preparing themselves for mission work in Japan, their pleasures were few; and our hospitable, generous John and Mary planned to make this Christmas in a southern city just as happy as possible for these from the far away northland. Jack and

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Jill felt at first they would rather have this little visit all alone with their dear father and mother, but they found in sharing the sweetest pleasure they could have with this lonely pair a joy they had not known before.

Visiting the College

Early in the new year John and Mary attended the annual lecture week when the college arranges for the strongest leaders in Christian work to address the students, and invites all others interested to come and enjoy with them this spiritual feast. John and Mary enjoyed seeing their children in the midst of their college life, meeting their friends and hearing the excellent lectures. They listened and observed carefully, and were pleased with the children's progress in their school work and in their music.

Watchfulness

The teachers counted them as among the best in the freshman class, but the loving eyes and ears of the parents noted a little letdown in the observance of the conventionalities, a bit too much familiarity, a shade of laxness in courtesy. Jill was a pretty child and was growing into a beautiful young woman. The recognition of this, the compliments and flattery of campus life, Mary saw were making Jill a bit vain, and the mother noticed her open her bag towards the close of the service in the chapel to pat and arrange her hair, or powder her face. She had been taught better, but seeing it done all around her, and the natural desire to appear as well as possible, were injuring her dignity and revealing the fact that her mind was not concentrated on the service. She was becoming lax in her respect for the speaker and for God, in whose honor

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the service was held. Few would have noticed this trend in the wrong direction, but the parents in the home as God would have it were not blinded by their love for their children--these happy, light-hearted children. John and Mary had a vision of Christ-like personality for Jack and Jill toward which they had been working since the children's birth. Now, because they were among a great crowd of happy, fun-loving boys and girls, they could not allow the charm and modesty, the refinement and culture, that had been built into them to be marred. They took Jack and Jill away to themselves and had a good heart-to-heart talk with them. Today the campus life of too many colleges is common, cheap, and tawdry, when the whole atmosphere, conversation, conduct, language and contacts should be marked by the finesse of culture and courtesy. Jack and Jill were reminded that they were in danger of becoming ordinary that they must watch carefully and not follow the crowd, that their parents expected them to gain rather than lose in these finer graces of personality, to be leaders in things fine and good rather than followers in things common, coarse, vulgar and evil.

In talking it over later, as this brother and sister always did with their successes or failures, they resolved they would look for the most refined and cultured teachers in the faculty and for the same among the students, and associate with them all they could, that they might become more gracious and charming in every way.

Selection of a Life Work

John and Mary were made very happy during this visit by Jack's telling them of his determination to

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give his life to preaching the gospel. He was arranging his courses of study that he might be as fully prepared as possible. He was planning to take every course in the Bible possible. He desired above everything to be obedient to Paul's exhortation to Timothy, "Study to show thyself approved unto God a workman that needeth not to be ashamed handling a right the word of truth."¹ He intended studying the Hebrew and Greek languages, that he might be able to know for himself the meaning of God's word. He would study public speaking and methods of reaching the minds of all classes of hearers. He would take the courses in Christian Education that he might be prepared to lead in that fundamental service in the church. His heart was aflame with the passion for the salvation of human souls. His parents encouraged him. telling him it was the greatest work in the world, and they were so grateful for this determination. They were anxious to reach home to make the dear old grandfather happy by the good news. The grandfather had always been a devoted Christian and now in his old age, nothing else was of any interest to him, so Jack's decision filled his cup of happiness to overflowing. The weeks and months passed rapidly, and soon the children would be home again.

Financial Training

All through the years from the time they were given their first allowance they had kept a strict account of their income and expenses, during this college year each month they had sent to their father an itemized statement of every penny they received and spent. They were able to meet their every obligation and were

¹2 Tim. 2:15.

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never worried or harassed by being out of funds, as were so many of the boys and girls whose allowance was much larger. This training not only helped them through college but all through life.

Wealth

Soon after the children came home material good fortune came to the family. Oil in large quantity was found on grandfather's farm, and as John was the only child it meant an abundance of money for all in this home, as God would have it. We have seen how nobly they met adversity; now we will have an opportunity to see if they will fall before the "deceitfulness of riches."

The news came as a distinct surprise to the children. John had leased the land and had turned the lease money over to grandfather. It was not a great deal, but it seemed a great deal to him and he had enjoyed sending the children a bill now and then and giving to every cause that was presented at the church.

A Family Council

Grandfather now called a family council as the family had done through the years; first when the children were little they started these councils to divide the chores and to settle any difficulties, later when some change was to be made in the routine or something purchased that all were interested in, they called a family council. At this council grandfather was chairman, and he said, "I want every member of this family to spend some of this money in the way it will bring them the greatest happiness. We will think a while then we will tell the others our decision." Jack was first to speak, "0, grandfather, I want to build a fac-

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tory of some kind near our college where poor boys who want to preach the gospel may earn money to Fly their way through school." The grandfather's heart was filled with joy as he told Jack he could have his desire, and he added, "We will endow that department in the college so those students who desire to preach may have free tuition. This fund shall be given in honor of your dear grandmother, who was great in God's sight, for she had 'a room with a bed, a table, a stool, and a candlestick' for the men of God who came our way." John said, "I want to build a new church for our congregation and make the present building into more class rooms so our Bible school work may be more efficiently done." Jill said, "Grandfather, I want to build a home for poor working girls who are in the city all alone, where they can pay whatever they are able, yet have a clean, comfortable home and a wise, loving woman to mother them." This would require supervision. They decided this should be near the church and become a part of its work. Mary wanted a nursery where illegitimate babies could be cared for until homes could be found for them. Little Jane said, "I want a big playground for children in that dirty section of the city we pass so often when we go to town." Grandfather's heart was filled with joy, not one had asked for anything for themselves. All had thought first of those things Jesus would have done had he been on earth. "There is plenty and to spare. You shall all do the things you have wished so sincerely to do. I will build a new church building near the old home, and a home for the aged on the farm, for some day the oil well will be gone and all the derricks can be removed. I want Mary to plan a new home for this family. We have been very happy in this old

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house, but it is about worn out, and I want us to build a beautiful home that can be used for the Lord as this one has been."

Working Out Their Plans

Grandfather told each one to go to work on plans for the desired buildings, telling them to study thoroughly the project in mind, to use all the economy, foresight, and care they had developed through the years, reminding them that they were all just stewards handling the Lord's money. This was a busy, happy summer. They had the money but not the time for a trip. Their friends expected, and the real estate agents endeavored, to get them to establish a new home in a fashionable section of the city. "Why should we do that?" Mary asked. "We live near our church and among our friends." Again we were reminded of the Shunemite who said when offered a place in the court of the king, "I dwell among mine own people." "Why should we desire to live anywhere else? We will move this old house on the vacant lot near and build our new home in the midst of our beloved trees and flowers, where the children have played and grown up, where sweet memories hallow the soil, and even the birds that nest in our trees are dear to us, where the neighbors come and go with kindly interest in every joy and every sorrow that comes to us--this is home."

John resigned his position and gave all his time to helping his father in handling this fortune, and in working out his greatest desire. He was specially anxious for his father to get all the pleasure possible out of building the house for the congregation in which he had served as elder so long, and in building, equip-

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ping, and seeing occupied the home for the aged Christian men and women, for grandfather was growing feeble and soon would go to his heavenly home. They built it in Spanish style, low on the ground with few steps for feeble feet to climb, around a large patio open to the south, where the sun in the winter and the cool breeze of the summer could be enjoyed. A part of this patio was covered and screened, flowers and vines were all about. A fountain and fish pond graced the center. A pretty bird house on each side was filled with sweet-singing canaries. One wing housed the women and the other the men. Across the north end, the living room, dining room, and kitchen occupied the space. Everything was plain, simple, and usable, but very comfortable. A good barn and a herd of young jersey cows was provided. A chicken yard and house was stocked with good hens, gardens were fenced and fruit trees set out, so the old men who were able to do light work had something to interest them, and the table was provided with well-balanced food. This was deeded to the church nearby, and that congregation was given its management.

John, Mary, and Jill studied and worked long and diligently over the plans for their buildings. John, of course, called the elders and deacons of the congregation to help with the plans for the church. They did not build a building too fine for the community. John wanted it to be so comfortable, so pleasing to the eye, so convenient that the minds of the people who came to worship, to hear, and to study would be helped to accomplish their purpose. He wanted to make them glad to come to God's house.

Mary and Jill, using the same style of architecture,

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built simple buildings, beautiful in line and soft in color, for this Southland needs cool colors and the shade of trees and vines. The buildings were nicely started when the time came for Jack and Jill to return to college.

The Devil's Effort

The family had been besieged all summer by representatives from various expensive schools and colleges, but the hearts of these parents were fixed, fixed on a the development of their children into Christ-like personalities. Fame, honor, or prestige could not compare in their minds in value to instruction given by teachers filled with faith in God and his word, guiding as well as instructing the young minds into truth in every field, into a love of the best in literature, art, and music, and a desire to live on a higher plane, to seek those things that are above the desires of the ordinary or mediocre. These parents valued also the association for their children of the sons and daughters of tile very best people in their state. They had selected this college on the basis of merit, why should they change because they now possessed some money?

Jack and Jill would not have to earn any part of their expense this year, so they used their influence to get the places they had had for some of their friends, and all through this second year they were often found supplying for these friends so they could have time off for needed study or for some pleasure.

Jack began going out to mission places to preach, and Jill had more time to spend on her music. Her voice, a beautiful lyric soprano, was developing nicely. She soon had a prominent part on the fine arts programs.

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Dress

Her mother sent her pretty dresses for these occasions, but they were simple and not any more expensive than those worn by the girls of average means. Mary knew and taught Jill that a parade of wealth, the out-dressing or wearing of clothes finer than those of one's associates, is bad taste. It shows a lack of the consideration that should mark Christ-like personality. Mary taught Jill, too, that a young girl is more beautiful in simple clothes, and that God has said a woman's beauty should be that of the gentle, gracious, charming spirit rather than costly raiment.

Financial Training Again

Jack and Jill were given a reasonable allowance and were still required to send home their monthly itemized statements. John was determined his children should not be deprived of the training every young person should have because of this money that had been given into their hands. He and Mary kept Jack and Jill from developing any habits of extravagance.

In many colleges the expense for extras, for social activities and athletic events is so heavy that many young people are kept out of school because they do not have the courage not to spend, and to have everything others have. Often those who spend most do so at the sacrifice of parents entirely unable to do it. John and Mary had so trained their son and daughter that they were just as careful this year as they had been the year before in keeping down the expense in their social group, but they often, in a quiet way, paid for a friend who could not otherwise have had the pleasure.

Grandfather had given the endowment for the Bible department in his wife's honor, but Jack was taking

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time to perfect his plans for the industrial project that he had in mind. He didn't want to make a mistake anywhere, but by the close of the school year the buildings were under construction, and capable men were working out the details of management.

The New Home

Mary and John had the old house moved and the new home was ready for the Christmas holidays. The house was not pretentious in appearance, but it contained every comfort and convenience. It was big and roomy, beautiful in line and harmonious in color, not too bright and yet not sombre. You just felt the house expressed the happy contented spirit of its owners. Nothing was too fine to be used and enjoyed. Jill's Christmas present, a beautiful new piano, was a surprise ready for her return. The fine old furniture found its place amid the new and grandfather kept all of his, so his room appeared very much the same, but he had his private bath and sun porch to add to his comfort. Of course there was the preacher's room with every convenience for his comfort. Mary had built the reception hall, living, music, and dining rooms so they could be thrown together and used for the pleasure of the different social groups in their congregation. While they spent much time in giving pleasure to the young people, they did not forget the middle-aged nor even the old people of the church. This home, as grandfather had said it should be, was built and used for God's honor. This was a happy home-coming, and the neighbors and young friends came in for a welcome and house warming the evening of their return. The family had conducted themselves in such a manner that their wealth did not become a barrier,

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the neighbors felt just as much at home in the new house as they had in the old. They brought gifts of their own handwork to add to its comfort and beauty. Grandfather received a beautiful silk friendship quilt filled with wool batting, so it was light yet very warm. A gay afghan crocheted by the girls and young women was Mary's gift. John's gift from the young men and women was a leather case in which to carry his Bible and notes for his Bible School work. These gifts brought joy for they were expressions of love.

The Church and Service Buildings

The new church, the girl's home, and the nursery were completed in a few months more, so were ready for Jill and Mary to put them in operation when the summer vacation came. Jill had found a woman of high ideals, capable in financial matters, kind and loving, yet firm and unyielding, whose heart was filled with a desire to serve girls who need the guidance and care that Jill wanted them to be given. She was glad to accept this work so she with Mary and Jill spent many hours Working out the details of equipping and managing this home.

They were all delighted with the new church building, and the large number of excellent class rooms. Jack had been giving thought and study in the college to grading, methods, and equipment of Bible school work, so was able to help his father and the leaders in the church in using to good advantage the additional room.

Mary secured the interest and co-operation of every woman in the church in the furnishing and opening of the nursery. There are very few women who are not touched by the helplessness of babyhood; and little

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unwanted babies appeal to the sympathy of every one. These women worked day after day making the necessary linens, covers, draperies, and a number of layettes. They kept one pretty layette on hand all the time for the use of each baby when it grew into an attractive age, ready for adoption. Mary arranged very strict rules with reference to adoption. The homes into which these babies went were good Christian homes, where the parents were capable, able, and willing to rear them "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." If a child proved not to be attractive enough to be adopted, it was placed in a Christian orphan's home where it could receive this training.

Neither of these homes was very large, and the elders and deacons with the help of the good women handled them efficiently; but the good that came from them through the years cannot be measured. The young women from the home were given daily instruction in the Bible and home making. This with the teaching in the church led them to become Christians and to grow in Christ-likeness.

Mating

The summer was soon gone and Jack and Jill returned to college. During the summer Jill had taken advantage of the visit in her home city of an outstanding voice teacher from the east, so had made rapid progress in the development of her voice. In this way she was brought in social contact with the son of one of the denominational preachers of the city. He was a young man of splendid physique, possessing a full baritone voice, a fine intellect, and ideals of life and service of the very highest type. The similarity of intellect, ideals, and esthetic nature attracted them

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to each other. They became good friends and spent many pleasant hours singing together. As Jill was a good pianist, she could play his accompaniment, he was a student in a medical college and all during the next year they corresponded with each other and each was benefitted. Letter-writing is a very worthwhile accomplishment which was cultivated more during the last century than it is today. A friendly letter is a very good index to the character of an individual.

Jack was delighted one September to find among the new students the little girl of the hill country near his home with whom he had played ball during a noon hour. Their acquaintance ripened rapidly into friendship, and they were together in the social affairs of the school all during the year. During the next summer Jack and Jill made several trips into the hills to visit in her home, and Mary had her visit in their home. They were all pleased with the bright-eyed, alert, yet modest Rubyzell.

One after another of Jack and Jill's close friends were being married, and starting homes of their own. John and Mary took an active interest in this mating and nest-building. They always gave as their bridal gift something for these new homes, something that would not be worn out and gone in a few months. Once Jill asked her mother about a gift for a bridal shower and mentioned the fact that some of the girls were giving lingerie. "No, Daughter, it is better taste to give something to add a spot of beauty to the wall or table that will endure through the years." And Jill remembered the pleasure the pieces of cut glass, sterling silver, and furniture, that were among her mother's wedding gifts, had given through the years, and that now occupied places of honor in the new home.

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It had become the custom with these young Christians to be married in the church. John and Mary with the preacher and other parents made these weddings just as pretty, sweet, and sacred as possible. John trained a group to sing the bridal chorus. The church already beautiful with palms, ferns, and pot plants, was made prettier with cut flowers from the gardens of the church family. This congregation was like one big family rejoicing together and weeping together. Of course, there were some disappointments. Some of the girls and boys failed to take advantage of the advice of their parents, elders, and preacher, and made shipwreck of their lives by hasty ill-advised marriages. John and Mary made good use of each case of this kind to impress on their children the supreme importance of wise mating. They took them to God's word and taught them the lessons they had learned that are given in the first chapter of this book. John came home one day with a sad story of the ending of the life of a young girl who had lived near them. When the "why" of the girl's mistake was discussed, John said, "Her father failed her. He didn't look into the characters of the young men she went about with. He didn't look up the ancestors and heredity. He would have done better by any of the fine stock on his place." John and Mary knew that being careful of the associates of their children was important to proper mating, but they knew that the involuntary choices of the heart are according to a deep seated inner nature, and since they had worked diligently to develop the inner nature, the Christ-like personality, they felt there was little danger of Jack or Jill being attracted by an unworthy person. As they grew into maturity their parents gave them careful and specific teaching as to the

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nature of marriage and its responsibilities, the sacredness and high significance of love between a man and a woman, and that marriage must be entered into thoughtfully, reverently, and in the fear of God.

As they talked with them Jack said. "I am so grateful that we have parents who love each other so devotedly."

John and Mary did not wait to give this teaching until Jack and Jill were already in love, but gave it naturally as they had done with all the other life lessons it had been their privilege to teach.

A New Problem

The third summer when Jill came home from college and Harry from medical school, they soon realized they were very much in love with each other. Jill came to her parents with her problem. She knew it would not be right, she knew she could not be happy with a husband whose faith was not in accordance with God's word. He was honest and sincere in his belief, and it didn't make any difference to him as he had the popular idea that if one believes a thing is right that makes it right to that person. For two months they discussed their religious differences. He had been taught the doctrine of his church, and his loyalty and devotion to the religious teaching of his parents was very strong. Jill had been able to convert him on a number of points to the teaching of God's word. John, who was now one of the elders in the church, had with the others secured the services of a strong preacher of the gospel who had been the president of the college where he and Mary received their college training, to hold their meeting in August. Jill and Harry attended every service. He listened carefully and a few more

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errors were removed from his mind, and after the sermon on baptism was preached he came to see the preacher. He said, "I had always understood that your people taught baptism to be only immersion in water, and I had heard several of your preachers and that idea was not removed from my mind. I believe the physical act, the mechanical part, was given only for the childhood days of the church, that the inner submission of the life to God, the real meaning of baptism, is the important part. You have given me a new vision. you have placed this physical act in which human intellect can see no efficacy for the forgiveness of sins as a test of faith, and man's submission to that in which he can see no efficacy, proves his faith in Christ who commands it. I realize the unity of our faith is of supreme importance to Jill. She could not be happy believing that her husband was out of Christ, so I will study this very carefully. I will not ask her to violate her conscience."

He and Jill agreed that they would read the New Testament through during the coming year, read it carefully and prayerfully, to find the truth, so Jack and Jill returned to college for their last year, and Harry to the medical school.

Another Good Work

This good preacher enjoyed to the fullest extent this visit in the home of his former students. Nothing brought more joy to his heart than seeing happy Christian homes in which he could feel that his teaching had had a part in building. Grandfather talked with him a great deal and was impressed with his vision of the development of the local church. He saw where John had gotten his vision, his enthusiasm and his knowl-

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edge. After the meeting was over he said, "John, I believe Brother.....should go all over the country and give his vision to every church in the land." John told him, "Brother.....is doing his best to get it before the brotherhood but it is slow for he has no property and has to earn his living with his local church. I fear his life will be over before, he is able to pass what he has learned on to others." The grandfather pondered the matter for several days, then called John and said. "Son, there is still more money than we will need. I want to endow Brother..... so he can spend the rest of his life teaching the churches how to do the educational work God would have them do." John was glad to do this, so fifty thousand dollars was invested and the bonds turned over to their local church with the provision that this brother receive the income as long as he lived so that he might be free to go and teach, the churches where he taught paying all the incidental expenses. The preacher's heart was filled with gratitude. He had given his life, his health, and his strength, and all he had earned in forty years into the work, and now to be free to give his last years to the work so near his heart was joy indeed. When he was gone to his reward the income from this fund was to be used by the church to support some other man in a similar work.

Grandfather realized that the time for his passing was rapidly approaching, so he settled fifty thousand each on the children, they to use only the income from it. He told John this would leave about one hundred and fifty thousand and that after he was gone for him and Mary to use that as they pleased. He could stand before the judgment and give a good account of the Lord's money.

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Jack and Jill graduated with honors. Their college years had been happy years, and they were sad at the parting; but planned to return for lecture weeks and home-coming days in the future.

Jack and Rubyzell were engaged but would not marry for a year or more as she had one year more to complete in college. Jill and Harry had studied their New Testament the full nine months. Harry had found in the city the little church which takes God's Word, all of that and only that, as its rule of faith and practice. He attended its services and the ones of his denomination, and compared the teaching and the practice of each with what he found in his reading. Before the year was over his faith was fixed. He was ready to give up all creeds and confessions of faith and just simply give himself wholly to God, to believe what he says, to do what he commands, and to trust him for his promises. He was buried with his Lord in baptism and came home to make Jill happy that now they were one in faith and purpose.

Jack and a college chum after a month at home, went to the mountains of Colorado to do mission work for there were only a few scattered Christians in that region. Jack said, "Grandfather's gift must be used in spreading the kingdom, so with the help we will get it will support both of us."

Jill thought of teaching, but Mary said, "Since you and Harry plan to marry in a short while, I want you at home with us for that time. You must learn to manage a home, for my daughter must be a good wife, a good homemaker, and a good mother. Jane needs you and you can help to bring joy into the lives of the girls in the home you gave for them."

Jill made life very happy for John and Mary and

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grandfather, and was a good worker with the young people in the church. She became her mother's assistant in her Bible class and her sweet voice and knowledge of music contributed much to the sang service in the church. She served two hours each day in the nursery and learned how to care for babies. There were lectures, concerts, and art exhibits through the winter, visits from her girl friends, and Harry came often; so she was happy, busy, and useful.

Little Jane was growing into womanhood, and Mary, profiting by her experience, was able to love and guide the little orphan until she did not fed any loss.

Jack's letters were a constant source of joy to his parents. He was learning to "endure hardness as a good soldier of the cross." He came home for Thanksgiving and remained through the coldest part of the winter, assisting the local preacher during his visit. The whole family attended the lecture week and from there he returned to his mission field. The twins were now mature. John and Mary had kept so busy studying and learning, abreast of the time in every way, that they and their son and daughter were the greatest companions imaginable. The parents did not. show their age, and were often mistaken for an older brother and sister of their children.

Jack and Jill decided to marry in the summer of their twenty-fourth year. God says it is not well for man to dwell alone. Jack felt the need of companionship and encouragement in his work. He needed the comfort of a home and the atmosphere of home life. He realized, too, that the right kind of a home, a home like the one in which he had been reared, would be a help to the young people of the mission field.

Harry had finished his medical course and must go

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farther away to serve his internship and to take some special courses that he wanted. He felt he could not leave Jill for so long. John and Mary were sad at the thought of any change in their happy family, but they loved their children more than they loved themselves, they loved Harry and Rubyzell, so they did all they could to make this wedding time a time of joy to which their children could look back with unmarred pleasure all their lives.

As Jack and Jill had always been together, they persuaded Rubyzell's parents to bring her to the city and have the double wedding in the church John had built. It was a pretty wedding. Some of their college friends came. The preacher who had married John and Mary and who had helped Harry to learn the truth pronounced the sweet sacred words that united these young hearts, and asked God's blessings to rest upon them as they went out to build their homes to be a blessing to others.

After a reception for all their old friends and neighbors, they gathered on the front gallery; and, instead of throwing rice, old shoes, and tin cans, grandfather led a beautiful prayer in their behalf. The little children of the kindergarten class showered them with rose petals and they drove away.

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER X

1. What period of life is designated later adolescence?
2. What usually determines the age of adulthood?
3. What of the physical nature during this period?
4. What of the spirit of this age?
5. Should life be made easy or should youth be challenged to difficult tasks and lives of service?
6. What of the mental development during this period?
7. What of the importance of companionship?

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8. Discuss the importance of this period of life in reference to religion.
9. What happens to the religion of the great mass of young people during this age?
10. Are the parents wise who cease to exert any influence or control over children after they pass their sixteenth birthday?
11. How does leadership ability reveal itself during this period of life?
12. What of the interests of this period and how should parents and teachers take advantage of them?
13. Around what does everything center during 0114 period? Give the parents' duty here.
14. What accomplishment of parents by the close of this period should fill their hearts with gratitude?
15. What of the importance of letter writing?
16. What makes the life in a genuine Christian college such a happy one?
17. Discuss the importance of the right kind of friends and the advantage at this point in character growth.
18. Are parental visits important?
19. Discuss the importance of strenuous effort on the part of parents to preserve culture and refinement for the next generation.
20. Discuss the importance of the early choice of a life work.
21. How may young people be trained in financial matters?
22. What two things does Jesus say will crowd out of men's hearts and lives the Word of God?
23. Discuss the many promises of doing good "When my ship comes in."
24. What did God require of the Israelites with reference to their first fruits?
25. What does Jesus command people to "Seek first" today?
26. Discuss the different projects for doing good presented by the members of this family.
27. In what do you see the members of this family growing as they determine the use of wealth?
28. How does it compare with the conduct of the rich young ruler?

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29. Are time, thought, and careful planning necessary to doing good as well as money?
30. Was the Mary of our story wise in keeping her home among her friends?
31. Discuss the greater opportunity for happiness in an old people's home like the one described rather than in the homes of younger people.
32. Discuss the scripturalness and wisdom of placing these institutions of service under the control of churches where the elders, God's appointed overseers, could manage them.
33. Why does the devil endeavor to get Christians who have money to send their sons and daughters to colleges which are great from a worldly viewpoint?
34. What should be taught college girls with reference to dress?
35. Why should the children of the rich be trained in financial matters as well as those of poor parents?
36. Show God's will should be observed in the building and use of our homes. How can we use them to his glory?
37. What principles should govern the buildings for church work and worship?
38. How does work in and for these service institutions affect Christ-like personality?
39. How should the golden rule affect arrangements for the care of little children? Who should suffer, the parents of illegitimate children who have sinned, or the children?
40. Discuss the mating of our children.
41. Review the lessons of the first chapter.
42. Are young people developed in the love of the good, and the hatred of evil, in very much danger of selecting the wrong kind of mates if they are properly guarded and guided?
43. Is it better to remain unmarried or to marry an unworthy person?
44. What of the importance of training girls to be self-supporting?
45. Discuss the danger and the teaching of God's word on the subject of marriage with one of different faith.
46. If one is sincere and honest is there hope of leading him to see his error? Should this be done before marriage?

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47. Discuss the last good work the grandfather of our story made possible.
48. How should a young lady spend the last year before her marriage?
49. Why should weddings be made beautiful and sacred?

FOR REFERENCE AND FURTHER STUDY--CHAPTER X

The Bible.
The Church and Her Ideal Educational Situation, Sewell and Speck. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House. Austin, Texas.
The Church and the Young People, by Zora Melton. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas
Ideal Womanhood, by Daisy McQuigg Sewell. Published by Firm Foundation Publishing House, Austin, Texas.
Youth's Outlook Upon Life, by George H. Betts. Published by Abingdon Press, Cincinnati. Ohio.

CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE HOME IN THE AFTER YEARS

"We will be coming back, Dear, just as often as we can and how sweet this home will be"--were the words that made tenderness and gratitude to well up in the hearts and tears to slip from the eyes of the parents. John and Mary determined to keep the home just as it was as long as possible to be a haven to which this fine son and daughter could turn in any time of sickness or trouble.

They did not sit and grieve over the empty rooms; little Jane was still with them, grandfather now needed more care, and there was always the Lord's work, more than they could do.

The months and years passed. Grandfather was called from his easy chair to come up higher. When they found him, a sweet smile was on his face and they could not grieve for him, but they missed his kindly presence. Jack and Jill came home and they placed his body beside that of the dear grandmother in the little cemetery by the old home church.

Jane went to the same Christian college Jack and Jill had attended. When she entered, the registrar told her she had a family record to live up to, both in conduct and scholarship. This was an incentive to good work for she was devoted to her brother and sister, rid knowing that they had shared their home and par-

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ents with her made her desire to be and to do all they would have her.

The summer time was a happy time, for all came to spend their vacations together. At Thanksgiving and Christmas if both families could not come they arranged so one could be there.

In the course of time several grandchildren were born and to them this beautiful home was the greatest place in the world and John and Mary lived over again the happy years with their own little ones. The sand pile, swings, seesaws and play house were again the scene of happy romps. John had a wading pool made so the hot days were happy ones for these little cousins. The little mothers were being thrilled every day by the development of their babies. The fathers and mothers both studied the art of bringing these children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They were full of questions for Mary to answer every time they came home.

Mary and John continued to study and to teach; they did not intend ever to cease learning, and were much encouraged by a recent statement from a noted psychologist that our minds do not grow old. They slow up, but though the human body deteriorates, the brain will continue to function if we but continue to use it.

John interested the rural churches in canning and preserving for the old people's home. The old ladies in the home pieced and quilted little quilts for the nursery in the city and were happy in having a part in doing good. John and Mary used their large home as a haven for those in trouble. This week it would be a poor woman whose husband or child was in a hospital, another time, a boy in search of work needed care un-

246 THE HOME AS GOD WOULD HAVE IT

til he could get a job and find a clean, good place to live, or a convalescent needed the cheer and comfort they could give. Young couples who moved to the city and feeling lonely and strange were invited for a meal or to spend the evening. John and Mary always remembered, "I was a stranger and ye took me in,"¹ and were happy in serving their Lord in this way. Their hospitality extended to those in every walk of life.

Mary's parents were growing very feeble, and she spent much time with them. John and Mary did not cease their study of God's Word and kept their chart of Christ-like personality constantly before them; seeking always to improve, to grow in grace, to become more like the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God's Word through all the years of study had not grown commonplace to them. They loved its beauty, reverenced its commands and cherished its promises.

Finding and enjoying this lovely poem by Grace Noll Crowell in the Christian Herald of October, 1935, they pass it on to you to thrill your hearts with its truth and beauty

"And the word of the Lord was precious in those days",²
Reading these lines, I wonder, Lord, have we
In all the wild confusion of our days
Forgotten our dear legacy from Thee?
They had "no open vision"--we have had
The blinding vision of the living Christ:
His birth, his high example as a lad,
His manhood ..... we have watched him sacrificed.

The word of the Lord was precious," Oh, today
Our people need its guidance, need its cheer;
There is no other voice to lead the way

¹Matt. 25:35.

²1 Sam. 3:1.

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Through the entanglements that bind us lest we fall.
May Thy word still be precious to us all.

Jane married one of the boys in the local church and they established their home nearby. After Harry had studied and practised several years in the east he and Jill returned to the home city--he to establish himself permanently in his profession, and they to build their home. All, both parents and the young people, were very happy to be near each other. John and Mary were grateful to look forward to a happy old age with children and grandchildren near them. They did not interfere in any way with their children's arrangements, even if they themselves would not have managed in the same way. They had taught their children to stand on their own feet. They believed in them and were there ready to help in any way possible with the babies, with advice or material help; but left them entirely free from criticism. Of course, if by kindly suggestion they saw they could give help, they gave it. So many parents make their children's lives miserable by trying to boss them all their lives and telling them at every point they should have done differently. They were all excellent workers in the local church, and Harry's medical skill was a distinct help in the nursery and girls' home. As they could care for only a limited number, he selected the best babies he could find. Numbers of the girls who needed medical attention but could not afford it were cared for.

Jack's letters brought joy to his parents' hearts and as John and Mary realised the individuality of each, and watched them looking upward for their leadership, endeavoring day by day to develop Christ-like personalities they felt very grateful for the recompense of reward for all the toil and the patience, all the pain

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and renunciation involved in having and rearing children. They realized that God gives back "good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over" into the bosoms of parents. "The bosom is the storehouse of recompense of reward, not into their bins, not into their banks, but into their bosoms."¹ John and Mary had sown the wealth of their lives in their children. Now they were reaping good measure in their bosoms. The Christ-like personality of their children their usefulness and happiness, the onward flow of their life blood through their veins in the service of their Lord brought to them the blessedness of life.

As they sat by their fireside in the gloaming, Mary read to John this beautiful "Parable for Mothers" by Temple Bailey:

THE YOUNG MOTHER set her foot on the path of life.
"Is the way long?" she asked.
And her Guide said: "Yes. And the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."
But the young Mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed with them in the clear streams; and the sun Shone on them, and life was good, and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."
Then night came, and storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the Mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Oh, Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come," and the Mother said, "This is better than the brightness of day, for I have taught my children courage."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the Mother was

¹The Home God Meant by George N. Luccock, Page 204. Westminster Press, Philadelphia, Pa.

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weary, but at all times she said to the children, "A little patience, and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top, they said. We could not have done it without you, Mother." And the Mother, when she lay down that night., looked up at the stars, and said: -This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I rave them courage. Today I have given them strength."
And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth--clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the Mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the Light." And the children looked and saw above the clouds an Everlasting Glory, and it guided them and brought them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."
And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the Mother grew old, and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was hard, they helped their Mother; and when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond the hill they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.
And the Mother said: "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know that the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a Living Presence."

As she finished reading they were both in tears, and together asked the heavenly Father to help them to so live the rest of the way that their children might feel as the gates closed after them that each would be a

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living presence walking with them on the way to God's eternal home. As they thought of this heavenly home, Mary remembered that her first conception of the sweetness of heaven had come from the song, "God's Children Are Gathering Home." No word is too precious, no effort too great, no burden too heavy for the Christ-like personality to give, make or bear that his home may be as God would have it.

WE SHALL ALL TURN HOMEWARD¹

"We shall all turn homeward at the close of day,
Home to lighted windows and a door,
To the warm welcome of a waiting hearth,
To firelight on a floor.

"As over marshlands and along strange coasts,
The wild fowls beat their swift, unerring way
Back to their needy nests, so shall we come
Home at the close of day.

"Sure of our welcome, confident of rest,
With the same instinct that the wild things know
We shall turn homeward at the close of day
Through the sunset glow.

"And we shall see the casement lamps at last,
Shall pass within to love, and warmth and light;
The door will close and shut us safely in
From the fast-gathering night."
--Grace Noll Crowell.

QUESTIONS ON CHAPTER XI

1. What is the importance of parents having a permanent home and keeping it after the children are married?
2. How may the woman of older years spend her time in usefulness and joy?
3. What is death to a faithful Christian?
4. What is the value of pride in family records?

¹Light of Tears--Harper and Brothers, New York, New York.